The List:

Ehleena’s comment on my previous entry prompted me to write down this list. Why do women have babies when they already have to deal with their “baby husbands”? 10. We LOVE challenges .. can’t get enough of it. 9. Who needs beauty sleep? We’re already beautiful! 8. It will be fun to see who can learn to leave the toilet seat down first. 7. “Baby husbands” can finally have someone to talk to and play with. 6. The two babies will make for a darn good entertainment once they’re changed, fed and burped. 5. There is no one “man” enough to ensure the survival of humankind. 4. Silicone implants? Bah! Grow bigger naturally, I say! 3. Three words, Paid Maternity Leave. 2. Why bother with the imitation, when you can have the real deal and mould them to your liking? And last BUT surely not the least 1. We might as well, especially when “baby husbands” makes us participate in mind numbing acts like what mine just asked me to; “Sweetie, put both feet on the floor. Lift your right leg and rotate it clockwise. Now with your right hand, draw the number six.. Eheheheh; see, your feet automatically rotates counter clockwise!” -why-me?-L

Hamsterina?

Alright, this may be NEWS to some people out there; but Homer and I are not on any sort of birth control. My apologies if this is waaayy too much information for you all. However, we are not really trying either. How can we? We can’t even stay together for more than 35 days, let alone have sex every day. And to tell you the truth, Homer himself is a BIG baby! Some time ago, I received a very interesting mail from Brave Lawyer Gal. Here’s an excerpt: “.. i was reading my old health mags last week and found a little article stating that echinacea tested on hamsters were found to hv resulted in the hamsters' eggs not being able to be penetrated by sperms…the article also talks about how these herbal stuffs are not thoroughly tested vis a vis its effects on human...so, it's a case of the world being cautious of its adverse effects. so there. thoughti should pass this to u. the article failed to specify the similarities between hamsters' eggs and human eggs...but it just ended with asimple warning i.e. if u wanna cocneive dont take Echinacea..” * Ignore the spelling slip-ups; it is after all, an email between friends. Not in ANY way does this represent her professional vocation. She is an excellent lawyer! When I read the mail, I had this mental picture; Me, as a little hamster scurrying in my little exercise wheel. Then zoom into my uterus where my eggs are (a-la zooms like in the C.S.I. series), and seeing Homer spermatozoas butting their heads on my impenetrable eggs. Each of them saying, “D’oh!” over and over again. Heheh.. Alright, no more echinacea then. Let’s make life a little bit easier for those sperms. Errmm …. Perhaps it is time for Homer to have a friend … -i-think-i-make-a-cute-hamster-L

Time waits for no one...

{kletak, kletak, kletak… damn kitten heels!} *whirring noise of the suitcase roller* ..running ..heavy breathing.. L: Dubai?? (huff, huff….) Man: No, Karachi. (huff, huff..) L: Oh.. we’re on the same flight! (huff…) Man: Thank God! I thought I’m the last one! (huff….) L: You checked in your luggage? (huff…) Man: Yes! (huff, huff..) L: Oh, good.. They won’t leave without you.. (huff..) ..still running ( feel like fainting.. but. Must. Make. It. To. Gate. C 36..) Airport guy: Ms. L and Mr. Ahmed ?? We made 3 announcements!! L: (huff..) Sorry, we’re here now.. (huff..) Man: Yes.. yes sorry.. (huff..) Airport guy to walkie-talkie: Okay, last 2 passengers is at the gate.. No need to load off luggage. L: Thanks (huff…) I’ve had many close call before, but NEVER this late. I just had to have breakfast at La Bodega after checking myself in at the KL Central station. I thought I can catch the 11.45 am train to the airport, but completely forgot that after 10 am, the train runs every 20 minutes. So, I had no choice and took the 12.00 pm train, arriving at the airport 12.30 pm. Flight departs 12.45 pm. I RAN all the way to the gate. That’s why my life is NEEDLESSLY COMPLICATED! -body-aching-all-over-L

Lessons of Gold

At the risk of exposing what I do, I have decided to do this community (albeit a small one) a service by helping them appreciate and understand the world of Jewelry. The history of jewelry is as old as human kind itself; it is seen as objects of adornment, and in its earliest days, jewelry is made up of objects of everyday life like shells, pebbles, even leaves. Passed through generations, these simple adornments became important; valuable, a part of our heritage. I can write further and bore you to tears on this; but simply put; jewelry evokes our emotions; be it love, pride or obsession. In my humble opinion, in its truest essence, jewelry is a form of art that can be worn, and “art” is perceived differently from one person to another. Just like art, we have different school of thoughts and come in various forms. So, boys and girls… Are we ready for our lesson of Gold? Gold is the most sought after material in jewelry making, so it is apt that we all start off by getting to know our yellow friend. And since I’m doing this for free, (loving’ it though…) I’ll cut straight to explaining the most confusing terminology used in the gold industry. K = stands for Karat (not to be confused with carat, a measurement of weight for diamonds), and has nothing to do with the orange vegetable, carrot. It is a measurement of gold purity. 24K is pure gold. In its truest form, it is soft, easily pliable. Suitable for carving designs, but not to be mounted with any gems, as it is not strong enough to hold it in place. 18K, is made up of 75% gold and 15% other metal alloys, allowing it to be stronger. Most popular among craftsmen as they can work in designs AND mount gemstones. Laymen term for 18K is “white gold”. The thing is, it’s not really white, 18K gold is still yellow, just not as bright as pure gold. Imagine yellow mixed with a little bit of white. The white finish that you see in “white gold” is actually rhodium plating, the same plating for silver and platinum! So, seriously, a white gold ring, a platinum ring or a silver ring which are fresh out from the oven after the plating.. all looks the same! But if you think you can get away with saying that its platinum when its only white gold … you CAN’T, the plating wears off you know.. And since I can sense that you’re mind is already wandering off, let me just wrap this up. Pure doesn’t necessarily represent the best. Throw in some other element, it binds the original foundation and becomes stronger. It may not be as shiny, but give it a nice layer of coat, a little loving; it will embody your emotion. Just like in 18K gold, the additional component adds on to our lives, making us stronger and able to take on the jewel that we call life! Get it? -strong-yet-soft-L

M.B.A

Married But Apart

It’s a known fact, relationships takes a LOT of hard work. I cannot stress enough on this matter, look around us; it is splashed on the silver screen, television series, people blog about it, heck.. Just look into the mirror and you’ll be reminded that you yourself have been through hell and back.

We’re not living a fairy tale life, where everything has a happy ending. THIS is about a boy and a girl who loves each other but can’t seem to be together. This is the story of my life *sigh*.

Then

I’m in KL, travels much of the time – He got transferred to Aberdeen.
He proposed (if you can call it one!) – I said yes ..
He got transferred to Iran – Collectively stayed together for 3 months.
He was offered a position in Dubai – Collectively stayed together for 2 months.

Now

I’m in KL – He’s in Dubai.
I plan to go back to Dubai – He’s been asked to go to Bangkok.
I can go to Bangkok, but cannot follow him back to Dubai – Work
He can try coming back to KL after Bangkok, but unlikely – Work


Looking at my palm; (as in PDA, not palmistry), we may be able to catch up with each other on the 3rd week of April.

Oh! I may be able to squeeze in a short trip back to Dubai before he goes to Bangkok. All I have to do is rearrange every appointment I have here and Singapore (that took months for the clients to confirm ..).

I’m drained.

-can-i-be-cinderella-instead?-L

Hot and hazy..

“Ladies and Gentlemen; we have started our descend into Kuala Lumpur, please fasten your seat belt and ensure your seat is back to its original position. Thank you”. Aaah, home sweet home. I looked out the small window, anticipating vast greenery made up of palm oil trees. Oddly, I can only see white clouds, must be really cloudy today. As the plane touched down, I glanced out of the window again. *Sigh* The haze is back.. Aieeyyiee.. It’s hot too. Hot and hazy. I have to round up the gals. No time to waste, desperate time calls for desperate measures. So which will be it be then? Karaoke session or naked rain dance? -sweaty-L *update* desperate measures worked.. can now list rain-maker under special skills

Raining outside… Rugrats inside…

It’s raining outside, so I can’t roam around Jalan Dago, and since I am skeptical about the taxi service here, I might as well stay here in the “freezer” a.k.a my room and finish my report.

Switched on the TV, let’s see… something not so heavy and funny perhaps..

*click..click….click*

Hey, Rugrats! Haven’t watched that for ages, a little dosage of Tommy and his gang sounds alright.

*********
Chucky: Aku tidak di benarkan bermain dengan Reptar lagii
Tommy: Mengapaa?
Chucky: Bapa bilang Reptar alien yang jahat!
Phil: Hm, tidak mungkin!
Lill: Iyya, kerna Reptar sebenarnya adalah dinasor!
Chucky: Bapa sudah belikan aku mainan baru, patung bear, nahh, lihat!

*Rugrats all looking at plush teddy bear*

Chucky: Namanya Guber!
Lill: Ia tampak menggerunkan!
Chucky: Jangan takut, Guber tidak mungkin menyakiti orang.. lihat ini

*Chucky hugs the bear toy*

Guber (the teddy bear): Aku saying kamu! Peluk lah aku!
Rugrats (altogether): Waaaah!
Phil: Kita main sahaja dengan Guber kalau begitu..
Lill: Yok! Dia sayangkan kita..
Tommy: Tapi aku tak boleh tinggalkan Reptar..

*********

Rugrats in Bahasa Indonesia everyone!

-wish-the-rain-would-go-away-L

I can speak Indonesian..??

If you all could see me this morning, you’d either roll on the floor laughing or be really..really impressed with my skills.

There I was; standing by the side of the projector, introducing my product and training, in … get this, Bahasa Indonesia! (or the little that I know of the language). It’s a combination of what I have learned after watching Indonesian movies like Ada Apa Dengan Cinta; Eiffel, I’m In Love and my experience with other people’s Indonesian maids.

To top it off, they actually taped the session… I must have been good.. During the break, they ran out to get more tapes!

I normally train in English, in fact all my materials are in English. Even back in KL, I did my presentation in English.

They were so impressed with my Indonesian language that they have asked me to give a talk when they launch the product early April. I have another session tomorrow, hope that my newly discovered language skills is NOT a fluke and I will still be able to deliver.

Apparently, Bandung is lined with factory outlet shops, a haven for someone like me. And there’s a few around the hotel! Time to hit the road… Muahahahaa! Don’t you worry Homer, it’s my money….

-gue-hebat-deh!-L

RUSH!

Braved myself and drove to the Gold Souk area, found a parking spot with minutes to spare before the meeting. *discuss… discuss…* Zoomed back to the Springs, threw training materials, 2 suits and toiletteries (including all my hair products) in the suitcase. *clean.. clean… vacuum.. wipe.. wipe.. * *shower.. tra-la-la* Picked up Homer from work, dropped off his colleague and braved the traffic to Dubai airport. Cue song, “ I’m leaving… on a jet plane…” *fly… fly..* So groggy, did not get much rest in the plane. My brother picked me up and sent me back to my place. Unpacked and re-packed for Bandung trip. *shut-eye* In between, I managed to have dinner with my parents and caught up with the latest KL news with Super Lawyer Gal over the phone. It is a miracle that I managed to catch the 5.45 a.m. train back to KLIA. Long queue over at Air Asia’s “international departures”. Wow! Those girls behind the counter has waaayyy too much make-up on. They all looked like Mimi from the Drew Carey Show.. Tried very hard not to stare and laugh as I gave my passport. *fly.. fly… (again)* Grumbling as I saw no one waiting for me at Bandung airport. I’m not even sure where I’ll be staying. Called Mr. A, but it was off. Oh-Kayyy… Last email mentioned that I’m supposed to be put up at Hyatt. Taxi it is then. Right, my name is not on the Hyatt’s guest reservations list. Went to the business centre, saw an email “.. apologies, Hyatt is full, we’ve booked you at Holiday Inn ..” Arrrgghhh!! Taxi again. Prayed that it will NOT fall apart.. *rattle… rattle.. vroom .. rattle.. * The traffic here is as mad as Tehran’s. Phew! Me and luggage arrived safely. The door held on! Unpacked and hanged slightly crumpled shirts. Looks okay, too tired to care *stomach growling.. * Mee Bandung perhaps? -letih-gila-L

It's just not the same ....

Walkers Crisps 9 years ago, my lunch was mainly comprised of a pack of Walkers' Salt and Vinegar (at one point it was called Salt and "Lineker") crisps, Kit Kats and a can of Coke. My Saliva would kind of squirt as I sink my teeth on that first crisp.. Yum! Today, I had the same exact thing.. But you know what, it doesn't feel or taste the same. Why, I wondered.. Guilt perhaps? Walking up the stairs Huffing and puffing as I climbed the stairs, only one flight too! Age has definitely caught up, not to mention the wobbly bits! And I used to be the Queen of the stairmaster! Choosing the outfit for the day Clothes strewn all over the bedroom, just because I can't find the "right" outfit for the day..Nowadays, the reason why I have clothes all over the room is because I CAN'T FIT in them. Aaargghh!!! The lifestyle of Superstar pets I am watching "lifestyle of superstar pets". Oh my God. Kuro, our family's cat, ultimate luxury is when we get her one those canned cat food and when they're up for it, my brothers would give her a whole body brush out. These pets goes for manicures (with O.P.I colours), designer clothes (Burberry's, Gucci), owner and pet's massage in a luxury spa and get this... their own little cabana as their owner work on their tan! Primping When we were dating, I made sure I look effortlessly primped (if that's ever possible). Fast forward, picture this, me STILL in my nightgown, stubbly legs (eyww!), breath smells of salt and vinegar crisps..As I wait for Homer to come back from his Friday prayers. I know .. I know I should really make an effort.. But what is it about being married that makes you slack off?? (Shall save that for another entry) No more GK *sigh* -better-primp-up-L

Just one of them days...

My head is pounding, my back is killing me and my stomach is cramping up! I've tonnes of follow up to do, appointments to fill out and get my travel schedule worked out for the next two weeks. I used to remember those days when I jumped up with joy whenever work takes me out of the country, now I'm just dreading it. The only good thing is that I'll be able to make a few days stop over in KL, before heading back to Dubai.

I can almost hear Homer singing (badly) .. You're leaving on a jet plane..Don't know when you'll be back again...

Aeiyaieya!

-pms-L

A poem and uncommon company.

He welcomed us into his home, another friend was already waiting. There we were. Two christian Lebanese, a muslim Lebanese, an American Jew and myself. As we wait for dinner to arrive, the host, lover of art, read to all of us his favorite poetry. In his deep husky voice... Do not say my love was A ring or a bracelet. My love is a siege, Is the daring and headstrong. Who, searching sail out to their death. Do not say my love was A moon. My love is a burst of sparks. Nizar Qabbani (1923-1998) He read it in Arabic first, and then the translation. Beautiful. If only the world can get along as well as we had last night... -my-love-is-so-obvious-L

G-man is here...

G-man is my boss, the guy I report to, the guy who saw my potential four years ago and hired me. The last time I saw him was last September in Vegas. I don't know why, but I am VERY nervous about seeing him tomorrow. We have three big presentations this week, and I have no idea how we are going about it. Do I point (a-la Vanna White) while he talks? Arghhh! I hate having to do presentations when the boss is around. Homer doesn't think much of G-man, due to one pertinent circumstance where I mentioned that I once saw G-man only with a towel wrapped around his waist.. No, I am not a pervert; no, I did not just jump out of the shower with him; SERIOUSLY! No hanky panky whatsoever. While G-man, on the other hand thinks that I married Homer because of his money...Wait till he sees what car we drive over here, marry him for money my a**. Introducing these two men will be interesting, and would probably bring out more fascinating outcome than my Vanna White impersonation. -frozen-smile-on-face-L

Q & A

Of stuff that ensued today:

Q: Why can’t I find shoes my size in Dubai?
A.1: Ladies here just have larger feet.
A.2: My feet was bound (a-la-lotus-blossom) when I was a child.

Q: How come I can’t fit in designer clothes?
A.1: The designer’s muses are often tall and skinny people.
A.2: High fashion is meant for tall and skinny people.
A.3: I look ridiculous in them anyway.

Q: Why haven’t I made any new friends?
A.1: The "snob-L" overpowered the "friendly-L".
A.2: The people I made small talk with are all tourists.

Q: Why does the car behind me always have to flash their lights?
A.1: I drive a small car; therefore I don’t deserve the drive on the fast lane.
A.2: The drivers have an irrepressible urge to flex on the light indicator.

Q: Why was I lost during dinner conversation?
A.1: I was outnumbered 7 to 1 by IT people.
A.2: I think it is time for me to learn some heavy IT jargon.

Q: How come Homer is not peering into my computer screen as I type this?
A.1: He’s giving me some privacy, finally!
A.2: He’s watching TV.
A.3: He’s watching Fashion TV (FTV).
A.4: He’s watching models parading in REALLY skimpy bikinis on FTV.

Q: Guess who is going to be smacked right after I post this?
A.1: Homer.

-know-it-all-L

My new shopping partner.

Many of you out there don’t know this, but one of the gazillion reasons why I love Homer is that he can metamorphosize into a 6-foot-shoe-loving-gurrlllfriend. Alright, it did take a lot of coaching and bribes the first few weeks we were together but I am misty eyed at how he has blossomed… Dubai is halfway through its shopping festival (DSF), so I decided to check out some brand bargains at the Emirates Towers’ shopping boulevard. Anxiously, I stepped into the Jimmy Choo store, my heart palpitates as I saw the sign “70%”. Please oh please…. Let there be a strappy in my size.. *dub, dub, dub, d-dub, d-dub, d-dub* Sweetie.. look.. and it’s size 35.. (Black, strappy with pearl details) *gasp* And it’s 70% off.., try it on.. (in hushed tones) Verrry nice… Yes people, the tête-à-tête above, came from my former homophobic other half. And here, far .. far .. away from my usual shopping partners, he makes an excellent stand-in. We walked out happily with a shopping bag; inside is a brown leather Prada shoe. Who knew that he would end up getting the shoes instead of me? In his defense, the shoes were a STEAL, while the fickle minded that I am wants some more time to search for that strappy heels. -should-i-get-that-jimmy-choo-L?

Le gourmet sandwich maker vs the scale?

We were in Ikea just now and came across a trolley filled with weighing scales. Took one out and stepped on it. Ttooiingg..... That’s the heaviest I’ve been since the wedding! Not to be outdone, Homer is now officially double my weight! Right, drastic measure MUST be taken! If Renee Zelweger can do it, so can I. Two and a half hours later, after unsuccessfully trying to ignore the rumblings of my stomach, I knew I had to make something for dinner before I tear Homer’s head off. Something quick and easy.. 15 minutes and two empty plates later, my findings as follows- Homer is either a) a very good liar b) a trash compactor or I really do make great egg and turkey bacon sandwich rivaling O’briens. Dang! There goes the hope of going on the Atkin’s diet. -dusting-the-belly-dance-workout-L

I hate waiting for..

Contractors. The house today is filled with 6 men who can't speak English, and unfortunately I don't speak their language. It's scary, having all 6 of them stare at you while you explain what needs to be done. I wondered if all of them really has to be in the house to just repair the water pump, align the door properly and fix a crack on the wall. After about an hour, they all left, with the exception of one guy who motioned to his watch, I think he's trying to say that he'll be back in 30 minutes to paint the wall. That was 3 hours ago! I bet you they'll ring the door bell the minute I step into the shower! Hmpf! So the question now is, to shower or not to shower? -edt-fresh-L

What do I look like?

I don’t look “Malay”. I can’t help it. My mom is Japanese. My “look” is neither here nor there. In Tokyo, people speak Japanese to me. I can understand them, but I rarely speak back, my vocabulary is limited. But with kids below 5 years old, I am a HIT! In Hong Kong, Beijing and Taiwan, people I meet would think I’m a banana – yellow on the outside but white inside. I got tired explaining why I can’t speak Cantonese or Mandarin. Its fine, they can call me a banana as much as they like. In Boston and my studying days in Leicester, they marvel on how fantastic my English is. In Dubai, most waitresses would speak Tagalog to me. I get mixed services whenever I go in a store. On my “japanese” looking days, I’ll get the royal treatment, I can’t say much about the other days. But what happened at the airport before I left for Dubai, tops all my “hasty generalization” experience- (Conversation excerpt at the immigration counter, Kuala Lumpur airport) Oh! I ingatkan you ni Cina, tak pun Jepun sesat kat kaunter salah.. Ya, memang banyak orang ingat macam tu.. Kan senang kalau pakai tudung! senang orang nak tau melayu ke tidak! * I was flabbergasted! I had 1001 things to say to the officer, but I kept it to myself. I left the counter biting my lip. His last statement really got to me. I am upset, no .. angry in fact. If a Chinese woman wears a headscarf, will that make her malay or muslim? Enough said. -half-and-half-L * Translation of conversation excerpt: I thought you were Chinese or Japanese. Yes, a lot of people think that. If you had worn a headscarf, it will be easy for me to know that you’re a Malay.

Bride and Prejudice

If you’re a hopeless romantic like I am, go out and get Bride and Prejudice, then surrender to Bollywood’s take on the classic Pride and Prejudice. Contrary to what my brothers would say, I am NOT a big Hindustani movie fan, but I have to say this movie is something else. I laughed out loud so many times throughout the movie! The film is in English (including all the songs!) and staying true to its bollywood roots, it comes complete with scenes of couples in the rain, running through fountains, fight *dusyum!* scene and people breaking into coordinated singing and dancing! Watch out for the gospel choir singing ala-hindustani song in English.. Incentive for the male population, it features Aishwarya Rai! -darcy-is-just-soo-cute!-L

Things that makes ME go hmmm…

*perplexed hmmm..*

Went into Sasa with the sole intention to buy two small traveling spray bottle. 30 minutes later, I came out with a shampoo, hair mask, hydrating spray conditioner and three traveling spray bottle! Spent 200 times more than expected! *hmmm?..*


*oh so wicked hmmm..*

Had lunch with my sis in law and exchanged juicy tittle-tattles on our hubbies’ eldest sister.. eheheh .. aww, come on we all do it! Chats like this can be very therapeutic! *hmmm…*


*baffling hmmm…*

How the hell did I go through 4 rolls of toilet paper in just 3 weeks? Oh! I forgot.. I have an extra small bladder and I can drink a big bottle of water in one go.


*irate hmmm.. or more like huuarrrgghhh!*

Learned that WQHT/Hot 97, radio station in New York played a very offensive, insensitive song on the recent tsunami disaster! Read all about it at Macvaysia's blog and more info here. I’m surprised that the song got aired in the first place!


*cheerful and joyous hmmm…*

Going back to Dubai this weekend, land of perpetual modern construction, where I have my very own; living and breathing feet warmer! Warm up those thighs Homer!


-do-i-have-to-clean-the-apartment?-L

Fire!

As I drew my curtain open, to let some breeze in, I saw thick black smoke from an apartment across my block! OH MY GOD...FIRE! Quickly took my phone and searched for the guard house number, just as I wanted to dial, Subby Hubby's "i'm so sexy" picture flashed on the screen.. Call you back .. I need to report a fire! Ha??... Frantically pushed the red button and then the green button. Hello, guard house? I see thick smoke coming out from an apartment across my block! Yes, we already called Bomba (Fire Dept). And we have also called the occupants. Oh, good. Wow.... they are fast! I called Subby H back and told him about the thick black smoke, this was his advise, "Okay go down now! Maybe the news crew might come and you can say, I saw the smoke.. it was horrible! Oh! and don't forget to shake your head.. Ooh, should I come over? You think there'll be cute Abang Bomba? Eh.. where did you get your dry mop aa?". Hmmpf.. Only from Subby H. As the drama unfolds, I stood by the balcony, the smoke subsided and I can see that the rest of the windows have been opened. The owner has returned .. The poor guy.. I would imagine his house is all black inside. Well I hope no one was hurt. Just then the phone rang again, it's Sing-Sing Gal. L! Change to channel 4 NOW! Huh? Okay.. Why? What happened? Look at Dayang Nurfaizah's flared jeans.. so nice, do you know where I can get them? Erk.. ( I kinda thought the mini fire was on breaking news or something..) . I dunno but, ya, it looks alright. So cantik, hmm okla, later! Ta! Here I am, a mere observer of the chaos surrounding my life; within this hour, we have, an apartment on fire, a guy in search of the "dry mop" and a new mother determined to get fit and get the flared jeans she just saw on TV. Life IS frantic .. but somehow everything works itself out.. Amazing isn't it? -now-wondering-where-did-she-get-her-jeans?-L

Oh dear ...

Once in a while, I would spend some time with Homer’s niece, Jordan. Her mom always goes on and on about how Jordan is so much like Homer. I never really saw the connection. That is, until yesterday. …. Pbffttt …. Jordan? Was that you? *giggles* .. yesh, I farted.. but not smeyyie la .. *gaag* .. You lied! Smelly la! *sad eyes* Aunty L .. you still like me? *head hangs low* Yess … .. oh good .. I farted again .. *giggles* *seeing stars* May she have the gift of sphincter control soon … I fear for her future boyfriends .. -cool-aunty-L

Curiosity killed the cat.

After messing up Mr. Vice President’s pelamin (altar), all 13 of us headed to Alexis GE Mall for some catching up. Lots of stories, after all Super Lawyer Gal and Sing Sing Gal just finished their confinement, I came back from Dubai, Subby Hubby is back from Beirut, Kusumadevi is back from India, Shell-man is getting married, D-Woman is planning for a Bali trip, the M&M couple just celebrated their 4th wedding anniversary and Brave Lawyer Gal was trying her hardest to convince her husband that pink, (the colour of his baju melayu) is the new black for this season. These are the days of our lives.. In terms of “time”, years has passed, but we still talk about silly stuff. For example, "gambir Sarawak" seemed to have taken centre stage in our conversation. Supposedly, gambir Sarawak can prolong male's penile erection, an all-herbal cialis it seems. And just because I was curious and asked many questions about it when we were in Kuching last week, the fellas are now conspiring a theory that Homer needs help in that area… Hmmpf! I’d find new friends but these bunch of bananas are .. dare I say it? .. Just too wonderful to let go. And for the hundredth time, NO, he does not have a problem and I am not a nymphomaniac! Seriously, people! -wondering-what’s-next-L

It's gettin' HOT in herrree..

Yesterday I was back at my nenek's (grandma's) place for Aidil Adha celebration, and the weather was HOT, HOT, HOT! I splish-splashed in the bathroom twice! Nenek doesn't really believe in showers, so she still has the kolah (mini elevated pool inside the bathroom) and we have to use gayung (small pail) and pour water on ourselves... and since it was hot.. the cold water splash is heavenly.. Here are the things that you can always count on at nenek's place during big celebration- -Food. Her sambal ayam (chicken cooked with chillies) is legendary. Cousins who came in the afternoon did not have any, probably because I collectively ate a whole chicken. - Gossips from the usual suspects (the junior club). Apparently, three of my cousins decided to get married this year. If you ask me, they are NOT ready. All they could ask me was, what colour theme should they choose for their wedding. I felt like telling them BLACK.. (erm, bitchy me..), but seriously, wedding is NOT just about which color looks great on you. - Gossips from the usual suspects (the senior club). Still on weddings, 3 aunts will now compete on who will put on the best reception and hantaran (wedding gifts to their future son-in-laws) - Mini fights between toddlers. Apparently, they still cannot grasp the concept of sharing. Things I did not count on: Everytime my mum and dad goes mushy over Aqeef (Sing-Sing gals baby).. Some aunt would say (at the top of their lungs!) " L.. bila lagi ni... Papa 'ngan mummy kau mcm dah tak sabar tu.."* Arrgghhhh! No pressure please .. erk! can someone please let some air in, suddenly it's hot again.. -how-to-make-baby-when-Homer-is-a-baby?-L *"When is your turn? Papa and mummy looks like they can't wait to become grannies.."

They're baaaccckk...

You know who I’m talking about .. Randy, Paula and my foul mouthed idol, Simon Cowell. Waa-haayyyyy! The next few weeks are going to be fun, since it’s the audition rounds. Some of the guys are downright dreadful .. and the best thing is that they truly believed that they are the next American Idol. The best part of today’s session is that Mark McGrath was there with the three amigos. He is CUTE. I’m going let you in a little embarrassing scenario with reference to the hot Mark McGrath. Years ago.. Four girls watching the Sugar Ray’s “Someday” video clip on MTV .. OOooo .. I love this song, and the singer is a cutie pie! Yeaaa.. me too!! Gosh he is really gorgeous! What is his name? Erm … I think his name is Sugar Ray Leonard .. eh, issit? Yeaa … I think so la. I think it is Sugar Ray Leonard.. *Dreamy eyes* And all girls in unison: (Sugar Ray) Leonard is sooo hunky. 2 weeks later… In a “who’s HOT” dialogue Who do you think is HOT? Sugar Ray Leonard! Really, ermm… Sugar Ray Leonard?? are you sure? Yea! The lead singer for Sugar Ray.. he’s dreamy His name is Mark McGrath you bimbo! Sugar Ray Leonard is a boxer!! Erk! *face turning red* -think-before-saying-anything-L

Shall we dance?

Alright, I am GUILTY…. Guilty of watching the corniest movie ever! I am a sucker for anything Richard Gere, and so I found myself watching Shall We Dance? The storyline was overworked and borderline ridiculous; but oddly, I kept on watching (hello?? Richard Gere… ) In real life, I doubt that it will end in high spirits. Richard Gere’s character, Mr. Clarke, would have had an affair with the dance instructor (it’s Jennifer Lopez, for goodness sake!) and Susan Sarandon, Mrs. Clarke would have slept with the private detective. But we are in la-la movie land, and so, happy-happy-joy-joy it is. Watch it if you identify with the following: 1. Richard Gere 2. Jennifer Lopez 3. A sucker for feel good movie / Everything works itself out in the end. 4. In dire need of an affirmation that (married) men can be trusted. Hmm… wonder if Homer is up to taking dance lessons .. -dancing-L

Of smudges and looking good.

I pride myself on having various groups of friends. Bankers, engineers, lawyers, fashionistas, IT support, retailers, people in the entertainment industry, architects, doctors and the list goes on. So it is only natural that my dad asked me to help him with his recent purchase. He decided that it's time for him to change his car. So I called up A# to help me out, as he is a used car salesman. At one point of my life, I went out with these sort... Don't get me wrong, but they can be very very slippery, and that's a fact. Of course, A# is one of the few exceptions. He agreed to get one of his boys to do the running for me at the JPA counter (motor department) and get all the documents sorted out. I was happily eating my cornetto ice cream when he rang and said that I should come to his office and bring the necessary documents to pass to his runner. Did a quick check on the mirror, applied some lipgloss and made sure that I look good. Why .. you ask? I used to go out with a friend of his, and just like all the ladies out there, I want to make sure that I look effortlessly gorgeous so that if he happens to talk to the biggest mistake of my life, he can say NOTHING but how great I looked. I know... I know... this is sooo beneath me, but that's how I feel. My life is GREAT, I have a wonderful partner who loves me to death, a job to die for and surrounded with brilliant people. But there is this little "shallow" part of me that wants to shout out, "hah!-look-at-me-now!-you-2-timing-bastard!". Don't kid yourselves... you ALL harbour the same sentiment... admit IT.. So I sent the documents and had some chit chat over some drinks, some laughs .. ha..ha.. Nampak makin muda ... (You look more youthful). You must be happy, huh? OOoo, thanks.Yes, I am very happy. Gosh, really... you haven't changed a bit la.... hahaha, you still spill stuff on shirt when you eat, huh? Whaa..? Tadi makan coklat eh? (You had some chocolates just now, eh?) Glanced downwards and there it was, chocolate smudges right in the middle of my white shirt. I snorted a giggle and went red in the face. Yup, I haven't changed. Clumsy-L is alive and well. And I realized right there and then, that I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I am me, and will always be, spoiled white shirts and all. And apparently... looking younger by the day... -six-more-cornettos-in-the-freezer-L

I pronounce you husband and wife..

Marriage is like buying a house or vice versa (unless you’re a serial house buyer or you go around buying houses for investment purposes).

First you need to find yourself a place that you love, then, you start investing your time and energy into ensuring that this is THE place you want to be.


Is it big enough? (heheheh!)

Will I be happy here? (does he/she make me laugh?)

How are the amenities around the location? (can the relationship survive based on what you already see?)

Will I get enough light/air from the windows? (will I be stifled when I’m with him/her?)


Once you’ve decided that this is THE ONE, you start the process of loan application (in some cases, you really do have to take out loans to upkeep the relationship). When things get REALLY serious you now have to go ahead and get the entire documentation ready like the sales & purchase agreement (pre-nup??/ marriage certificate).


And when that is all done, you are now a proud house owner, in other words hitched. Now comes the delicate and tricky part. The maintenance bit. You see, you can do renovation works but not too much, because you do not want to mess about with the original structure. After all, you already fell in love with the place, why subject it with a myriad of changes. As a wise man once told me, don’t change him too much, he may end up a stranger.


You can however, enhance the place, like putting in a fridge, cooker, cabinets, etc. Furnish the place to make the place more charming. Anyone will be happy when they change for the better, no? I know Homer is ecstatic with his new carefully selected wardrobe.


Upkeep of the household can be nasty, but if done consistently, keeping the place clean should not be difficult. If you take care of your place it will always be there to shelter you. On the extreme end, a poorly maintained house can turn on you or you can get fed up with the house … but let’s zip up the downside of this, as I want this to be a positive entry.


When all is said and done, you need to have that sense of belonging as you walk in your house … knowing that you’re home. Knowing that you can walk around naked and be comfortable in your own skin, without being judged. Knowing that you can still be YOU, but with someone else around.


To Mr. Vice President who is finally taking the plunge, wishing you and soon-to-be-Mrs.-V.P, all the best!


-going-to-kuching-so-I-can-see-Mr.-V.P-sweat-it-out-L

The flight home.

It started with a breezy check in ... As usual, the airport was buzzing like a million bees swarming a giant honey pot. It's the hajj season, so you see groups of pilgrims of different nationalities in their ihrams walking about. It's truly an amazing experience seeing surfer dudes, men in business suits, scantily clad women, women in abayyas, grunge kids, even SATC girls wannabes strutting their way to their boarding gates. Then came the announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that flight EK 346 has cancelled and has now been rescheduled to 8.00 am. AAaaaaa?? That’s a five hours wait! I already had an earful of “I am great! I am the smartest! I have traveled everywhere! I am a shipping tycoon! I know everything there is to know about the world!” from Mr. Obnoxious (who sat next to me at the boarding gate). So I made a quick getaway. Trying to catch a few winks on a chair is NOT easy. Add a group of very noisy Mandarin speaking pilgrims and 6 African women talking non-stop, you get a very wide-eyed ME! When I finally got seated on the plane, I heard an awfully familiar voice asking if I had extra gum .. F*#^ ! It’s Mr. Obnoxious! Hmmpf! Market must be bad, even shipping tycoon is in the economy class. Thank God for the headphones! I had them on all throughout the flight and my eyes glued on the teeny-weenie TV. I practically ran out of the plane when we finally arrived. 18 hours after Homer’s bear hug, I’m finally here … in my bat cave. -jet-lagged-L

How was your day?

I had to take a cab today to go for an appointment as I had no idea where to park. A piece of advise; when taking the taxi in Dubai, please brace yourself for major B.O. The kind that gives you the lingering headache. It's been 7 hours now, and I STILL have the headache. I should have known that it will be a bad day, the traffic was bad getting into the city, and it was worse heading to Baniyas street (traffic and B.O, great!). And guess what? The guy I was supposed to see was not in the office! *FUMES* And nobody in the office had the decency to call me that the meeting was cancelled!! *FUMING FUMES* There I was, in my black high heels, VERY OFFICE attire, standing on one of the busiest street in Deira, trying to catch a taxi back to the car. I stood by the roadside a good 40 minutes! A record time for sure, considering the amount of taxis here in Dubai! I know, my day is nothing compared to all the problems in the world, but *hmmpf*, I needed to let off some steam. Having said that, I'd like to end with a chirpier note, I reckon I was a great tour guide for subby hubby. (as expected) And guess who's coming back to KL???? M-E! Yay me! Awww... time for real hubby and subby hubby to bond... -packing-now-L

Why me???

The bedroom, from now on shall be known as “the gas chamber”. After my regular toe warming session, Homer blurted, “Crap!” *.. pbfftt..* Ahhh... It’s okay sweetie, NOT smelly.. *seeing stars* Gag .. sputter.. eykshh.. arkgh.. sputter.. ggaaagggg.. It is NOT funny when YOU are the receiving end of the cry of an imprisoned turd. Moral of the story, when there is a *pbfft ..*, followed with a contented sigh, you must run like the wind… -it’s-too-late-to-turn-back-now-L

Announcing the arrival of...

the man with the longest name .. a.k.a the subby hubby, to sunny Dubai! The drama queen that he is, he may come out of the arrivals lounge in a wheelchair, apparently he tore his ligament during swimming class. Don't ask.. he is as accident prone as yours truly. Coffee breaks will never be the same again, at least for these couple of days! -tour-guide-wanna-be-L

From raffle tickets to folded money...

Dubai is preparing herself for the most awaited event by shopaholics, you guessed it, the Dubai Shopping Festival (DSF) is coming! All the retail outlets will slash off prices like crazy! If you're NOT a millionaire or have tonnes of money to blow, it's time to drool and weep over the stuff that you can't get even when it's 70% off.

But DSF is not ALL about spending money, it is also time for raffles tickets and a chance for poor sods (like me) to stand a chance in winning cars, luxury apartments and cash. I found out today that I can win cars and apartment just by spending a minimum 25 Dhs at the gas station's retail store.

Faster than the speed of light (almost!), ran into the store and bought -

1. Car wash coupon. (Car is practically a moving sand dune)
2. Local woman's magazine. (It's time I learn what the locals do around here)
3. Ice cream. (Something to eat while waiting for sand dune to return to its original form)

As the car goes a-splishing-and-a-splashing, I sat down and leafed through Emirates Woman. Out fell a supplement, Emirates Bride. Interesting, and since weddings are partly related to the industry I work in, I decided to go through that first.

Flip.. skim.. flip... skim... flip.... skim..... flip.... ehehehehe... ehehhehem... mmm.. mm... m

*Strange looks from people in the waiting area....*

p. 85, Emirates Bride.

Wedding Traditions,
Gifts

Swedish brides put a silver coin from their father and a gold coin from their mother in their shoes to ensure they will never go without

Fijian Grooms present their father-in-law with a whale's tooth, a tabua, as a symbol of wealth and status

Malaysian grooms send their brides to be money folded into animal or flower shapes

Of all of our wonderful wedding traditions, money folded into animal or flower shape is apparently the one that made it into this magazine. I'm surprised I didn't laugh harder! I'm not even sure if we even do the origami-like gifts (hantaran) anymore. Homer gave me a cheque in a pewter frame.

If you look at the first 2 gifts, both had wonderful meaning behind them. Wishing the couple to always have silver and gold so that they will never go hungry; and the heart warming symbolism behind the tabua.

My thoughts ran wild for the meaning behind the animal or flower shaped folded money. How about; it makes spending the money more difficult as it takes forever to undo the intricate folds or maybe; it is a test of the brides' skills of straightening the dosh. I heard from my aunt that she had to carefully iron each single note! For her wedding, the duit hantaran (gift) was shaped like a swan.

Money folded into animal or flower shapes... it is NOT tradition, at best, it's just some makcik's (aunts) way of showing off her lipat-lipat (folding) skills.

-i-know-how-to-make-origami-crane-L

Survey says...

Apparently I ....

1. Am an Ice Lady and / or made of ice.

2. Enjoy watching 7 young men running, jumping and defy gravity around Paris. Yamakassi! Why haven't I seen this one before? They are cute, speak french and very nimble!

3. Desperately need to really think before making any purchase. I now have in possession a freakishly flared 3/4 brown jersey pants. Think M.C. Hammer "U Can't Touch This" pants, 3/4 in length length, no cuffs...

4. Look like an idiot when I wear the freakin' flared pants. I can see (from the corner of my eyes) that Homer is trying really hard not to laugh....

5. I don't have any thick socks to wear to sleep tonight, so what are you going to do about it, Homer?!

Muahahahahaha!!

-i-can't-be-cold-blooded-or-can-i?-L

The Graduate in Dubai!

While driving today, I heard over the radio; promos for The Graduate. Whaa?? Did I hear that correctly? Waa-hay! I’ve always wanted to watch that play, ever since Brave-Lawyer-Gal raved about it when she happened to catch it in London.

Jerry Hall played the part of Mrs. Robinson; and yup, you guessed it, stripped down to her birthday suit. I doubt they’ll be doing that scene here (can hear Homer shouting D’OH!).

I picked up a newspaper today to find out more about the play. This is what I found in page 3, full page colored advertisement.

The Graduate
Directed by Divya Palat
Featuring Zeenat Aman, Rageshwari and Aditya
With music of Simon and Garfunkel

Only in Dubai, ladies and gentlemen! West End meets Bollywood!

I’m not too familiar with the 2 younger casts, but the name Zeenat Aman rings a bell, and I think she’ll make a great Mrs. Robinson… She looks great in the poster.

"Would you like me to seduce you?.. Is that what you're trying to tell me?"
"I want you to know that I'm available to you anytime you want"

The image of Bollywood actors belting those lines while shaking their heads (accents included) is enough to make me snort out a little laugh.

It’s only for one day, 14th January. Dang! I already made plans to attend Mr. Vice President’s wedding!

AAaaarrgghhh!!

-am-not-bollywood-crazy-but-i-think-i-know-of-zeenat-aman-L

I never learn..

Today is market research day. That means I go around a mall, look at stores related to the industry I work in to see what's new and whether the formula that we are using now, still apply to the current market . And so after my "research", I had some time to kill before picking Homer from work. I was trying REALLY hard NOT to walk in any clothings store, but alas, when I saw RED signs in bold blocks, 40% off, I crumbled.. eheheh. Mango (or MNG for KL-ites) is having storewide sale up to 40%! I can't turn my back to that...they NEED me, or at least that's what I tell myself. Alright..alright I confess, Mango has been having the sale for about 10 days now, and I have been buying stuff like bees in a honey frenzy. It's just that everytime I go in that store, I go out with something. What can I say? Things in my size keeps appearing.. I am embarassed to tell you this, but afterwards, I went to this other store called "forever 21". I don't think they have it in KL but I heard from my lawyer friend that they just opened one in Singapore. Anyway, this store is really great. Think MNG meets Topshop. They have all this cute li'l tops and skirts.. and I just couldn't resist to try the *gulp* tiny minis..The thing is, this is NOT my first time trying them on. In any case, the first time around, I looked at the reflection and thought...hahahahahahaha! Are you kidding??? You're bloody 30 years old! You're NOT 18!! And look at those thighs!!! arrrgghhhhhh! I don't know what made me do it AGAIN. Same reaction. Only this time I thought, " If you looked like an idiot the last time you tried them on, what made you think its any different today??!! And my! Those thighs have grown!!! hahahahahahahaha..I'm glad I can still laugh at myself *wiping tears*. My deepest apologies, Mr. Mirror. Damn those pink pleated minis! -i-can-still-carry-off-knee-length-skirt-phew!-L note to brave-lawyer-gal: think I was possessed. Why else would I do this to myself? hahahahahahaha...

Why is my spinach salty?

Here in Dubai, I have been testing my culinary skills almost everyday. A far cry from when I was back in KL. In fact, I only got the gas line connected 3 days before Hari Raya, 11 months after I have moved in to my place! So far, nothing has caught fire, burnt or turned completely unedible.

Today, I had a special menu worked out.

Grilled Salmon Steak, Calamari Fritters with Cream Cheese Spinach.

Grilled Salmon Steak - check! Cooked to perfection if I may add.
Calamari Fritters - check! Crispy on the outside, fluffy inside.
Cream Cheese Spinach - erm.....Salty!Salty!Salty! Salty than the Dead Sea!

What I don't get is that the spinach tasted fine while it was simmering. Could I have bought a salted spinach? Or maybe the cream cheese was a little heavy on the salt? Or maybe, just maybe, I have salt sprinkling fingers..

According to Malay old wives tales, if a young lady of marriageable age cooks something and it turned out salty, she's about to get married..

Ahem!?

-tongue-is-still-tingling-L

The first day is always the hardest..

Sometimes I wonder what is the big fuss about today, it felt exactly like yesterday. Well, almost. The big difference would be the fact that we are not going to see any big bang fireworks tonight.

Can you tell that I'm grumpy? I have no idea why... I have listed the following reason as possibilities surmounting to my "gray" mood today.

1. I ate too much, but I'm still feeling hungry. (and I'm supposed to watch my waistline)
2. Bad hair day. Most likely due to the fact that I put too much hair mousse last night.
3. Nothing good on TV.
4. Cracked lips. In dire need of chapstick.
5. Homer's "I need to be close to you day". Every 20 minutes, he'll put his face 2 inches from mine.

ooh, 10 Things I Hate About You is on.. I LOVE this movie, it reminds me of my younger days and of course, my first introduction to Heath Ledger.

I take everything back, let's start over.

1. I'm going to make Maggie goreng. Live each day to the fullest!
2. Twist hair up in a neat ponytail. Instant facelift too!
3. Helloo..! 10 Things I Hate About You..(aww, Heath Ledger...)
4. Stop pulling skin off the cracked lips. Get chapstick tomorrow.
5. I wish everyday is "I need to be close to you" day. Be thankful that someone can put up with cracked lips..

Today may not end with magnificent and breathtaking fireworks display against the backdrop of the Burj. But it started with one..

-Heath-Ledger-can-really-brighten-up-any-day-L