Is it really Friday??

Apparently, the pharaoh’s descendents loves Super-Lawyer-Gal so much that they kept her on their plant tour a little too long and caused her to miss her all important flight to see me, buncit-L!

I was so looking forward to her short visit, getting her input on what we should get here, and most importantly which jeans I should get! Homer’s a great shopping partner, but nothing beats the opinion of formerly preggio person who knows which type of pants will fully accommodate the needs of a cranky, growing tummy woman.

Well, what to do… Homer will have to do for today.. (D’oh!)

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Time is ticking..

Things has been a little bit topsy turvy lately. Homer is concerned with his position here in Dubai and how there’s not much room for him to grow career wise. Meanwhile, I have a million things to do to ensure the success of a new venture here. Then comes the bomb – people back home wants Homer to come back and take up a new position, and typical for people in this company, we may have as little as 2 weeks to pack up and leave.

Alamak! My boss is going to kill me.. first I drop the news that I want to move to Dubai, then the preggios news and now, I may be leaving Dubai right smack in the middle of sensitive negotiations…

On one hand, I’m thrilled to be delivering the baby back home and having all the support I need from my family, friends and the makcik urut, but on the other hand, I’m kind of disappointed that I’ll be leaving my so called expatriate’s wives life and a handful of new friends here.

Packing will be hell.

*sigh*

I really have to stop whining.. after all, life’s been very good to me.

Tomorrow, Super-Lawyer-Gal might drop by, if she can cut her Cairo trip short. Can’t wait to goss till we drop.

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What does it mean??

Homer told me about his dream last night.

We are taking a family photo and Homer was carrying our baby. I was standing next to him. (No, he can’t recall who snapped the picture, maybe we used the free mini tripod that came with the “i-bought-something-for-the-baby-that-turned-out-to-be-a-camera-for-him”)

As we looked at how the photo turned out, the baby was double.. DOUBLE my size.

Possible interpretations..

1. I’m going to give birth to a 10 pound baby … yikes!
2. Homer is REALLY trying to justify his latest purchase as "something for the baby".

And my favorite interpretation for this dream

3. I’ll lose all the weight I’ve gained.. that’s why I turned out so small in the picture..


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His and hers definition of..

“I bought something for the baby”

What I bought:
- Denim pinafore with butterfly details and matching pink bodysuit.
- 2 pack sporty jogger pants
- 2 pack newborn t-shirt
- Distressed cropped jeans
- 2 pack sleepsuit

Reason: I just couldn’t resist the sale at Next!! 50% off!!

What Homer bought:
- A new digital camera (and not even one of those small compact ones)

Reason: It had the best reviews!!

Think Homer meant the big baby in him.

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Alone?

All byyyyy myyyyyssseeellff
Don’t wanna live.. all byyyyy mmyyyyselffff anymooooooorrree

Remember that scene from Bridget Jones? Sad, but in my case, take it up 10 notches merrier. Confused? Yeah, me too. How can I explain this.. It’s kinda nice to be alone once in a while. The drive back from the airport was heartbreaking, then I just had the worst bout of vomiting and only slept at 2 am.

Then came the morning wake up call from Homer-in-need-of-paternity-clothes, and I’m reminded that I am left to my own devices for the next 2 days..

Am by myself in Dubai.. *shriek!!*
I have the car at my disposal but most importantly, guilt-ridden-and-needing-paternity-clothes Homer has left his cash card to ME ..

The plan is to go out towards the evening so I can exhaustively walk up and down the mall and be ready for a good night’s sleep.

…

Just realized one gigantic loophole, Homer failed to mention where I can find his banks’ ATM cash point. Aaaarrgghhhhhh…….

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Cute boys says the darndest thing.

I was just reading the better half of the M&M couple’s email and could not believe the last bit of her message. Their cutie Haziq, upon seeing a picture of Candace Bushnell (of the famous Sex and the City writer), said “Mommy look .. Aunty L!” God bless him and his big head, he really does have one! (or maybe it was his small necked t-shirt?).

And for that, he will be forever in my good books and my approval if he ever takes my (yet unborn and hopefully) daughter out on a date.. heheheh..

Talking about my good books, Homer, at present has done it yet again. Is it so difficult to listen to your self proclaimed fashionista wife when it comes to which suit/shirt/pants to buy?? Have I ever failed him when it comes to his wardrobe? NO! So if I say, I think you should get a bigger size… you listen, I only want the best for you. And I may save you from embarrassing fat bulges and accidental rips in your all important interview.

Anyway, thanks Haziq, for making my day..

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We did it!!

We bought our first baby item.

We’ve been talking about this for the past 2 weeks, it is still very premature for us to get the stroller, but I am sooo in love with it that I just had to get it out of my system. For goodness sakes, the baby won’t be able to use till she’s at least 6 months, still we decided to get it since we both can’t seem to get the little traveling machine out of our minds.

Alright, we’re getting the car seat that can be mounted on the stroller frame next week, so we can use it from birth, but STILL that’s 4 months away!

Yet again, I pushed the stroller round and round the shop while Homer worked out the technical part of its assembly with the staff. In hindsight, I look like a cuckoo lady pushing an empty stroller around the store.

When we reached home I told Homer to pack the stroller nicely in its box and seal it off. I was afraid that I will start taking the stroller out and pushing it around, way before its time.

I do believe that I’m way in over my head with this baby stuff. Need to slow down, but I just can’t help myself. I’ve always been on the other side, you know, the one who’s not pregnant, the one who just got married, the one in a relationship (bad or otherwise), the one who’s happily single …

And look at me now, tummy showing, baby moving within, (empty) stroller pushing woman. My.. my.. look how I've turned out.


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The silent scream..

Perhaps it’s the color I was wearing, perhaps it’s the extra glow or perhaps it’s because I’ve been rather mean to Homer all these while, many guessed that we’re expecting a boy..

Well what can I say .. except that the power of me (and the technician’s educated guess) may (will?) over rule all speculations. Ah, well.. irregardless, this stuff is never 100% certain. And it doesn’t really matter whether we’re getting pink or blue blankets .. as long as the baby’s healthy. But, girly stuff is becoming so irresistible…

Moving on, I did the unthinkable… No it’s not what you think, I did something that kinda shocked Homer for a whole 2 minutes! Ready? I ripped his already thoroughly worn undies. Yes, you heard it right, I tore his favorite underwear.

I told him many times to throw his comfy undie away, so while folding laundry last night, I was so irritated with that one grey underwear, that I just started nagging and after a few minutes I snapped; and ripped it with my bare hands!!

If I could frame that particular Homer moment, it’ll creepily look something like “The Scream”.




I can never understand the bond between a man and his favorite underwear, I suppose it’s similar to a child with his blankie (or bantal busuk). After his fantastic impersonation of Edvard Munch’s Scream; he proceeded to take the ripped undie, wore it and paraded a-la-Chippendale.

Lesson sorely learned. NEVER EVER destroy your loved ones favorite clothing item; especially underwear.

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You ready for the tummy?

Yesterday, as I lay down watching the monitor, I was in complete awe. We saw the four ventricles of the heart... the baby's heart!! Everything after that swished by.. feet, legs, arms, hands, fingers, brain, umbilical cord .. I had a hard time making out what was what.. and secretly hoped that this would not affect my ability to be a good mother.

And then came the best news, "everything looks great L .. would you like to know the baby's sex?"

Yes.. (are you kidding me?? of course!!)

Looks like you're going to have a baby ................

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I'm halfway through now and one thing I noticed about me is that I look more pregnant towards the evening.

Here's a snap of me getting my cardio workout for the day.. *flick, flick and flick some more!*

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The butterfly effect..

Tell me what’s wrong with this picture.

The TV switched on to “E” Channel, with a program that shows how the young Hollywood stars are mysteriously “thinning” with strict diet regime and exercise. Then the host kept on talking about how “we” – the public; can slink into the skimpiest outfit for the summer in just 10 days!

While seriously watching the whole show, a woman heartily eats Maggie goreng (fried instant noodles), like there’s no tomorrow.

Absolutely nothing.

I am pregnant so I am allowed to eat whatever I want (I just have the craving for Maggie mee nowadays so sue me!)

I know I am supposed to eat healthily, iron intake, calcium, protein, all the vitamins in the world, etc. I DO try. But I can’t control these salty urges. All this is just so new to me, and I’m kind of overwhelmed.

I’ve been reading a lot on being pregnant, and so the highlight of this week is that I should be able to feel the movement of the baby. They say it’ll feel like flutter of butterflies in the stomach.

The problem is, I have no idea how that is supposed to feel like. It’s all relative isn’t it? A flutter of butterflies could be jabs of the third kind for all I care! Homer is convinced that some of the weird “activities” that I’ve felt was the baby. I on the hand, am more skeptical, with my luck, it could just be gas.

So, for those who’ve been through pregnancy, some enlightenment please?

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The only great time to have ..

A protruding tummy.

On the fashion frontline, this is a good, nay .. make it the best time to be part of the preggios front. The sight of a pregnant bellied woman in a tight top is no longer considered offensive or inappropriate; in fact, a pregnant woman’s body has now finally found its place where it truly belong. True magnificence where life begins and kept safe until the baby is ready to come out to the world. I mean, see how great these celebrities look!

Alright .. in all seriousness, yes, I agree 110% with what I’ve just said but if truth be told.. it’s really tough living with yourself while your body goes through all the changes it needs to accommodate your bundle of joy.

First, you suddenly realized that your pants just don’t fit right anymore and you’re not sure whether its your thundering thighs or your damn hips. Next, there’s that gap between the darn top 2 buttons of your shirt, and trying to pin it up just makes it look like you are falsely imprisoning your best buddies. Then, all hell breaks loose. You no longer recognize your body, what with the expanding hips, belly jutting out, darkening of the areolas, innie becomes outie …

It’s very much IN today, to have your pictures taken; in all the glories of imminent motherhood. Since my tummy has now, as what the experts identify as “popped out” (in other words – showing lah), Homer, the self acclaimed photography genius thought that we should take pictures too, so we can see how I develop in the next 4 months. Who knows? Maybe we’d post it in the blog, I mean I ain’t that BAD looking and everyone has been saying how radiant I look now.

Well, well, turns out that they are either; all great in telling outright lies! Or as Homer puts it, “our camera doesn’t have the right speed exposure / not able to capture / the lighting is just not right / I just can’t find the right angle”. Bah! Not in a million years would I ever allow the pictures to be posted. Snap a photo of Mrs Potato Head – voila! That’s it ..

However does Britney Spears get away looking great with all the paparazzi snapping away?? A good friend of mine, Madam Luxury is one of those people that looks great throughout her pregnancy. I saw her just last month and she looked like she just popped in a volleyball in her shirt! With one month to go, she’s truly an inspiration, if she can do it so can I! And if all else fails, I have an ever loving magic talking mirror that has nothing but WONDERFUL things to say about me in the form of Homer to help me start and end the day.

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Tips on surviving..

.... Dubai in the summer

1. Drink lots of fluids – When I say fluids, I mean water… chilled H2O! Not lattes or teas or carbonated drinks.

2. If you wear glasses, like Homer, take your spectacles off whenever you go outside. If not, your glasses will fog up and you may risk falling down and looking like an idiot with fogged up lenses. Contact lenses are a good solution for this.

3. If you’re planning to make sunglasses a permanent fixture on your face during the day, rule #2 applies. Slide it off your face till the mist on the lenses wears off. Trust me, it is OKAY to be exposed to bright sun for 10 seconds.

4. Have a lip balm handy. For the guys who think this borderlines as an act of sissyness, imagine this – dry, cracked and chapped (maybe even bloody) lips; no one wants them! Homer personally recommends the Vaseline petroleum gel that comes in small tubes, and not lipstick-like in any manner. Can be handy in other occasions too…

5. Be prepared for a soothing butt-cial (like facial, but on your derrier..) when you enter any public restroom (including the ones in the mall). The water in the toilet bowl are not temperature treated, and comes directly from water containers which are mostly located on the roof of the building. With temperatures raising above 40 degrees, your derrier will have their own mini-sauna treatment.

6. Still on the topic of restroom, for those who make use of the bidet, utilize them with caution. Fast jetsprays of hot water on the nether region can .. how shall I put this nicely .. Sort of a “blanching” effect.

7. The heat and humidity can be overwhelming, but remember to keep on breathing. Inhale, exhale .. Your body still needs oxygen, even when it feels like its going to evaporate all your bodily fluids.


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Looking for better days ahead..

Yesterday, I was shaken with the news of the London blasts.. we were on our way to
city centre for some window shopping when we heard it over the radio. Dubai’s population are predominantly expats and many from the UK, in fact the one of the deejay on duty sounded so shaken he actually excused himself so that he can make some phone calls to check on his family.. I was near tears, perhaps it was the hormones, perhaps it’s the wonderment of what has our world turned into?

A dear friend stays smack in central London with his lovely and kind wife, and I was frantic to find out how they were. Called B-L-G, who had no idea what had happened and after 30 minutes or so, was relieved to receive a text message confirming that they are both safe and sound.

Feeling better, we went on with our shopping research for strollers.. I know its wayyyyyy too early (as Entrepreneurina had clearly pointed out) but we can’t help it!!! We’ve been eyeing this stroller around Dubai, and it looks so sleek! We spent hours in the shop pushing it around, folding and unfolding it… Goes to show how easy it is to make me bounce back to my cheerful positive self!

This entry may be borderline insensitive to the somber episodes in London, but as I watched the BBC news, I am encouraged to see how resilient Londoners are, not allowing fear to take over, focusing on how to keep on moving forward. My hats off to everyone over there, who has courageously taken their first steps to resume their normal lives.

To my fellow blogger friends in London, hope that all of you are safe and well. And remember, a smile goes a long way.

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19 weeks and counting..

If the doctor’s count is correct, I am coming up to the beginning of my 19 weeks of preggios. According to BabyCentre, head to bottom, the baby is approximately 6 inches long (about the length of a small zucchini). Being the ignorant produce person, I am in limbo on how a zucchini should look like, or is zucchini the same with a cucumber? Aren’t they from the same family? And if so, why can’t they just say the length of a small cucumber instead? But then, size is relative, so a small zucchini for them could be medium sized for me!

Six inches long, hmmm.. I was brought up by the metric system, so again, this was a little bit confusing for me too. But I can make an intelligent guess on this, I normally wear 3 inch heels, so double that.. whooaa!! Quite a length, but what about the width? Which brings me back to the zucchini.. 6 inch zucchini.. I don’t know about the rest of you out there, but if there is no mention in the beginning of this entry on being preggios… This section sounds very dodgy.

Why can’t the website use something more universal for this? Somewhere in the line of bags or purses perhaps? I mean, how well do you know your vegetables? And really, zucchini is not particularly recognized by many people! Cucumber, yes, but not zucchini!

Now, bags… that's something that I can identify with, plus it has various depths and widths. For example, they can say the following (which will probably make sense to many preggios out there)-

At 19 weeks, your baby is approximately the size of the mini Murukami LV bag or the small Louise Vuitton pochette.

I rest my case.

Not only will I understand that statement, but it is also refreshing! And for the ladies and gents who are not quite sure what it looks like, simply go to the store. Who knows? With some little bats of those eyelashes, and rubbing of tummy, preggios may walk out with a handy pochette!!

Can’t wait till the baby gets bigger… ( .. and so does the bags… Muahahaha!)

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Huh?

Super Lawyer Gal is right on the nose on this, as the pregnancy progresses, you become more absent minded, forgetful, you become a scatterbrain. In short, I have become a bimbo, a tummy protruding BIMBO that badly needs to touch up her blonde highlights.

Last night, the biggest concert ever was held in various countries to lobby the G8 leaders to erase the debt of the African countries in hope to eradicate poverty. While watching the live performances from one venue to another, my mind raced to start an intelligent conversation, perhaps start a first-class discussion with Homer then possibly write a thought provoking entry for the blog that has so far been very much light in its contents.

Nope, nada, habuk pun tarak..

These are some of the things that came out from yours truly.

- You know what? Only Snoop Dog can get away having his hair done up in pigtails, braided and tied with those bubbles hair bands.

- Wow.. Simon LeBon looks so old.

- Will Smith is HOT! (shamelessly imitating Paris Hilton)

- What’s up with Tim McGraw's jeans? Doesn’t he know that jeans worn up to the navel is OUT?

- I wonder if we can see Mr. Shellman’s apartment? (when they were showing a bird’s eye view of the Hyde Park concert.)

- Gosh.. Michelle (Destiny’s Child) looks so thin…. *benci*

- If I had money like Madonna, I’m sure I can look as great as she does! Damn those arms!!

- OOoohhh… Josh (Groban)… *followed by sobs*

- Mana Mariah Carey niiii??? Did I miss her?

The next thing I knew Homer tapped me on my shoulder telling me it’s time for bed, and I groggily walked upstairs and continued my Zzzzzzz’s.

Have I lost the ability to carry on meaningful exchanges? Well, not entirely, I’m saving those precious brainworks for business.

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As good as it gets..

Alright, so I am married to Homer for 3 years now, plus a year of “courting”.. a total of 4 years now I have been exposed to Homer“isms”. Give and take 2 years of long distance relationship (before and after the wedding), I’d say he has completely let down his guards when he’s around me, or as he puts it, showing the “real” Homer. Although you can never really be too sure when it comes to guys (or girls for that matter), anything can happen, right????

I’ve seen him doing the most stupid things, like showing off his “muscles” (more like jiggling his wobbly one-pack-belly) in front of the mirror and then turn to me and say, “ you want this???” in the most perverted way you can imagine (this happens on a regular basis), to suddenly breaking into some dance moves (he ain’t no Travolta) while getting some drinks from the fridge (in his underwear, mind you, and STILL on a regular basis).

At times he would talk to himself about how good he looked (or so he thinks) that day and how well he handles a certain situation. He gets this intense expression on his face whenever he plays the Xbox (which finally came after nearly 10 months in Iranian packing company limbo), and cursing the characters that didn’t die even though he had pressed the green button a zillion times. I’m still waiting for his drool to come out during these tense moments…

The other day I had the chance to see him proffesionally in one of his work presentations (saw the clip from his laptop.. ha-ha! Don’t ever think that this little missus can’t access your computer!) . I can see how he can be a pain. During Q & A, he kept saying, “ee-zactly.. ee-zactly..” whenever he meant yes and interjected “UN-derstood.. UN-derstood..” after each question. Haiyoh!

Sometimes I wonder if we’re really ready for the next challenge.. Well, at least we have the best of each other to work with, and that can’t be bad.

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Hot and sticky

I’m back in Dubai, right smack when the weather gets really warm and humid. That’s the reason why you all back in KL see an influx of the Arabs, they’re running away from the hot and sticky weather! Today, it’s supposed to be 41 degrees centigrade with 85% humidity. Imagine being in a very badly ventilated basement car park, double the heat… That’s exactly how I feel every time we leave the house.

And guess what? It is ONLY the beginning of summer…

On the upside, the Dubai Summer Surprise is here! Shopping report coming up as soon as I can brave the weather. Anyone for some tanning and sauna????


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Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday we hit the 3 year mark, yes, 3 years ago Homer confidently pronounced, “Aku terima nikah … yada, yada .. lapan puluh ringgit, tunai.” .

I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already. It just feels like yesterday, I saw him grinning ear to ear after saying the nikah vows at one go, hence sealing his membership of “The One Shot Club” (lame ain’t it??).

We celebrated with California Pizza Kitchen take away on our funky plates, illuminated by 2 candles. I had my comfortable shorts and tank top on while Homer had the same thing on…. haha.. he wore his t-shirt actually. Him wearing the tank top would have spoiled dinner..

We adjourned 3 steps away from the dining area into our living room and spent the night watching CSI Las Vegas and channel V.

And guess what? I did not hang my head over the toilet bowl last night.

Bliss. Happiness is knowing you can be on cloud nine with minimal effort.

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Wanna be my punching bag?

In any pregnancy literature, you will definitely come across references on cravings or yearning for certain types of food. Like pickles and ice cream (?) for the mat sallehs and jeruks and assam boi for us locals.

With all the hormonal changes that is wreaking havoc through the system, pregnant woman often craves (or even aversion) for certain types of food, have heightened sense of smell, acute awareness of (ahem!) female instinct .. yada, yada.

But what they failed to highlight (at least in my case) is that I have this strong itch to smack my hands across Homer’s face. Yes! One of those Alexis-tight slapping action that will throw Homer off his balance.

I know it’s wrong to hurt anyone, but that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my craving for the past few weeks. We have discussed this “topic” many times, much to Homer’s alarm. Being the supportive hubby he is, he always said that I can take it out on him… And I’d sometimes plant my hands on his cheeks, NEVER full force though cos’ he screams like a girl whenever I raise my hands.

Last night, while watching a movie that featured infidelity, I just couldn’t control myself (remember, I AM emotionally charged). With Homer’s guard completely down, I gave him a sharp kick and pinched him like I never did before, with a couple of slaps here and there. His expression changed from shocked, bewildered and finally comical. What did he do after my mini rage burst?

Chuckling and giggling… “Puas? Happy?”, He asked.

Perhaps I should enroll myself in anger management class.


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The things we do...

Working from home gives me the opportunity of being in my jammies, watch TV and read my mails, all at the same time. Excellent! Cue air guitar action ala Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

I’m watching Discovery channel as I write this, the Science of Star Wars – how the Jedi’s way are similar to the disciples of the Shaolin temple. A scene caught my attention, I realized that the Shaolin monks “poses” as they run out of the temple. You know what I mean.. “eagle-ish” and “ultraman” hand movements as they jump out of the entrance into the temple’s courtyard.

Stylish and intimidating at the same time, I have to say.

Why don’t we start doing it? Every time we leave the house, strike a pose. I dared Homer to start.

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I take it back, we should NEVER strike pose.. or at least Homer and I should NEVER do it. If you resemble a 6 foot grizzly bear or 16 weeks pregnant, shaolin poses is NOT the look you want to go for.

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note: Homer humored me with an ultraman pose as he went down to take something from the car… *wiping tears*.. reason #683 why I married this guy.

Of barfing and tummy expansion

For the past two months, every night, without fail, I will find my head hanging over the toilet bowl. Staring down on the muck of pottage, I’m beginning to wonder when my (evening) sickness will stop.. It’s tough, and my face resembles the color of a cooked lobster afterwards.

Being the drama queen that I am, the thought of suffering from an eating disorder have crossed my mind.. I mean, barfing out everything you ate each and every night is unnatural, especially when they’re really good food. But after browsing through the latest Us Weekly, and seeing pictures of Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan, I have come up with the conclusion that - I am NOT “suffering” from anorexia or any other form of eating disorder.

You’ll understand if you can just see how I am now. I look nothing like them. (Haha! What was I thinking??)

And so, I just have to accept that I may suffer from my morning sickness throughout the pregnancy. On a more pleasant note, I think I’m beginning to embrace my tiny bump. In fact, Homer and I have been comparing the size of our tummies. Homer, of course, is still the clear winner.

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Who’s afraid of little ol’ me??

I love jumping on and scaring the bejeezus out of Homer. This morning, I had the perfect opportunity. He was about to finish his shower, so I decided to wait quietly next to the bathroom door, ready to pounce on him as he gets out.

I fluffed some pillows and hid it under the covers, hence creating the illusion that I was still asleep. Tip toed across the room and waited by the door. I was waiting for a quite a while… (Homer is one those guys that takes longer than girls to get ready) ..

Then I realized that he could see my reflection on the mirrors that lines up against the adjacent wall! Damn those mirrors.. I crouched down, hoping that the bed’s reflection can cover mine. So, there I was, a-la crouching tiger, hidden dragon, waiting for Homer to open the door.

He opened the door, calling me to wake up. I can tell that he’s putting gel on his hair.. well, it’s either that or he was admiring his own reflection.. creepy, I know… A few minutes passed, finally, he stepped out of the bathroom, calling for me.. Uhh, he still hasn’t seen me crouching down next to him..

Hihihihihihi..

I reached out my hands…

HWAARGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! What the f*#k are you doing????, he roared.

Me, rolling on the floor… Trust me, he was completely white, nothing funnier than seeing my Homer jumping out of his skin..

Picture this - I was wearing black tank top and black shorts, my long (and nicely blown from my salon trip yesterday) hair let down, on the floor with my arms arms outstretched to him… a scene right out of a Japanese scary movie… Muahahaha.. I am BAD.

The best thing is this – I can do it to him, but he can’t do it to me. This is my screwed up definition of marriage… MUAHAHA! *evil laugh continues*

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Is it really over?

Yes it is.

Woke up this morning to the sound of traffic instead of waves. A clear and sure sign that the vacation is indeed over. KK was fantastic, the mountains, the beaches .. and the wedding was beautiful. To Mr. and Missus Shellman, congratulations and get ready for a fantastic ride!


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Yes it is.

I am officially over the age of 30. So far so good. I suppose when you’ve already hit the big 3-0 mark, you don’t really care about the number that comes after it. So really, turning 31 is not so bad. After all. I did get to blow my candles twice, once at KK and another one in KL.. celebrations in 2 cities.. beat that!

The best thing was, the polaroid picture of me blowing the candle looks GGOOOD.. I still got it!!


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The Land Beneath The Wind

Being married to Homer is beginning to pay off. We have an AMAZING suite! Huge balcony, which will easily accomodate a party for 20..not that we're gonna have one. Bathroom fit for the King and Queen (of course..). Living and dining area, mini office with FREE high speed connection, outside dining area facing the beach... aaahhh...THIS is the life ..

All thanks to Homer's long stay in Shangri La Dubai, he gets free upgrades!! Moral of the story is - it pays to be loyal.

Gotta go, Homer's running the bath... I hope he puts in the nice bath salts.

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Feelin' Lo..

I’m totally not prepared for the Kota Kinabalu trip, I know my bloody problems are miniscule compared to all the problems of the world but I can’t help reflecting on the fact I am not 100% all the time.. *sigh* . Someone, please, snap me out of this. I’m fretting over the fact that I can’t fit in my kain baju kurung, and that I don’t have the perfect sarong wrap to match my tops…

God Almighty! I AM SELFISH!!!

I seriously need to talk to someone about this..

Thank God I’m seeing Brave Lawyer Gal today.. She should be able to put head on straight.

Homer’s coming home today and the house is in a mess again.. Damn! I need to buy a giant box to stuff all the junk that has been lying around the place. Wish I could put my f*#king insecurities in a box too.

-perhaps-it’s-the-nicotine-withdrawal-L

To burst or not to burst..

I truly think that Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood should consider starting a little somethin’-somethin’ . They look GREAT together… don’ cha think????

.. She’s a little bit country .. He’s little bit rock and roll ..

And with that, ladies and gentleman, I have officially morphed into one of those ladies that thinks they know whom other people should be with. A “real” makcik.

Speaking of being a makcik, I can’t believe it’s Friday again! Ever notice how time fly as we “mature”? Subby Hubby is taking me to a fancy dinner tonight and I still can’t decide what to wear. Seriously, I can’t fit in almost all of my fancy dresses, and I doubt wearing sweat pants and sports bra will go well with his fancy pinstripe suit..

There is something in the closet that might just work, I just need to make sure my “twins” will not burst the seams.. ooops!

-bustilicious-L

Anti-what?

And so... Homer has finally announced that he is taking a break. A break from blogging, that is. Between his additional responsilibities at work and coping with the 10 headed monsterina formerly know as his wife, I doubt that he has the energy and time to be “Homer”.

For those who will miss him (there’s quite a few, I tell ya), I’d still be writing stuff about him, his mishaps/mistakes/etc. And freely too.. he can't bash me back!

On other news, we’re entering the “busy” period.. busy celebrating birthdays (and anniversaries). It all began with Homer’s birthday, which is just last week! He can be such a baby .. Whining on how I didn’t call him first thing in the morning. For goodness sake, I sang Happy Birthday to him at the stroke of midnight, on the eve of his birthday!!! *sigh* Let’s just hope he’ll pull himself together when the baby arrives…

The following weeks will be followed with all the Gemini girls.. We’ll be celebrating birthdays left and right. Brave Lawyer Gal just turned 31, and so will Super Lawyer Gal… And then it will be .. mine… Aieeeee!!!!!

Thirty One .. Ah yes.. That time when you realize that all your beauty products have either the word “anti aging”, “anti wrinkle” .. “anti anything”. I’ll keep you updated on which cream works..

-La-La-L

3 months!

Apparently I am 12 weeks pregnant, not 14 weeks as calculated by the doctor in Dubai. That made more sense.. heheh, if you know what I mean..

It's been very educational, so far I have learned that-

1. I MUST take a nap in the afternoon.

2. I cannot stomach seafood .. *ugh*.. strange indeedy.

3. My face requires mostuirisation 24/7 .. at night, before sleeping, I resemble those girls with white masks on those facial mask ads, but instead of a mask, it is actually layers and layers of night cream.

4. If like me, you suffer from morning sickness (in my case it is actually night sickness), and cannot hold anything down. Refrain from eating spaghetti. Regurgitating spaghetti is hell.. Just trust me on this.

5. During the early stages of pregnancy, known as the first tri-mester (the first 3 months), you do not "look" pregnant yet, so brace yourself with comments like, "eh, you look a little fat" or "nampak berisi....". grrr..

-i-can't-believe-it's-Friday!-L

What happened to the list?

I had a list of things to do while I am back in KL, let’s see how that went:

. eat jambu batu / jambu air with assam boi powder
-done, but it wasn’t as satisfying as I imagined it to be. Dang!

. go to suzi’s corner and order Maggie goreng (not too dry with cut cili api)
-yum yums, what can I say… perfecto!

. meet up with my friends and goss my brains out
-ooo… yessss, plenty of gossip. But sorry guys, my lips are sealed, you never know who’s reading the blog .. MUAHAHAHAHA!

. hang out at Chinoz with Subby Hubby and bitch ..
-not yet, cos Subby Hubby has been soo busy…

. catch up with outlaws gossip with my biras
-apparently MOLly is looking forward to staying with us when I give birth.. Nooo, I want my mummy!!!!

. go for a facial
-face is still dry after facial… behave oh hormones… pretty please???

. get my mum to cook anything and everything..*drooollllss*
-feeling guilty as hell to ask her cook anything for dinner as it eventually comes out just before I sleep..

. round up the usual suspects and eat cakes at Alexis
-the usual suspects are apparently tied up with some impossible mission as I have yet to do any cake eating at Alexis..

. eat roti canai near Entrepreneurina’s office with fish curry
-the roti canai people went back to India, so we went to Raju’s instead.

. stock up on low heel shoes, watch out Vincci!
-dissapointed as there was nothing.. and I mean nothing for me… WHY????

. have my hair restyled by Super Stylist
-I have this cronic tiredness after lunch.. so I never got around to see him.. Zzzzzz

. stock up on dvd’s
-none. Again, I blame it on the new cronic feeling I get

. have the nasi lemak at Kg. Bharu with everything on!
-hmmm, maybe I can do that tonight…. Subby Hubby, howabourit?

. go for a mani and pedi.. aahhh..
-my toes are sooooo pretty. *happy sigh*

. go for long lunches with anyone available
-everyone apparently has lots of work .. go figure.

. order the banana fritters with ice cream at Mdm Kwan’s
-if only I can make my way there early enough so that I don’t have to queue…

-hitting-the-sofa-in-10-9-8-7-Zzzzzzz-L

Possible reasons why ..

.. I’m soooo “gas”sy today

1. Ate too much roti canai with fish curry at Raju’s
2. That damn cheese sandwich I ate for tea.
3. Fell asleep with mouth open, and may have inhaled then swallowed too much air..

Most likely reason ..

I AM carrying Homer’s child….

-airing-the room-L

Do you cry at the movies?

As I’ve mentioned in one of my earlier entries, I am a pretty sensitive gal – the kind that cries at weddings, sad movies, you get the drift. But, last night, was the first time EVER that I cried after seeing a man’s naked torso…

(hushed tones – in the movie theatre)

L & Entrepreunerina: OMGosh .. He’s gorgeous!!!*gasp*

OMG.. OMG.. OMG..

Subby Hubby: Shhhhh….

Entrepreunerina: He’s so beautiful, I’m actually crying..

L: me too…

*giggles*

On hindsight, I’m pregnant and hormonal… what’s her excuse???? Shedding tears over a well sculpted chest and abs .. What the hell? It was a comedy for goodness sake!

-la-la-L-

Knock, knock..

Who’s there?
L
L who?

This is exactly how I felt when my parents were in Dubai. They were all gooey-nice to Homer, thanking him for his time, taking them around Dubai and stuff… *sigh* Helloooo??? I was there too, I planned the whole itinerary for their trip, where’s the pats on MY back???

Okay I won’t dwell on that, let’s move on to the fact that I’m baaacckkkkkkk! Back in my very dusty apartment. Now, the question is, anybody has a number for a very good house cleaner?

-ah-choo-L

My dad, my boss.

My Dad cracks me up.

I know deep inside he loves me, after all I'm his only "little girl" but we were brought up the ol' skool way. You know, the old saying, " Sayang anak tangan-tangan kan, sayang isteri tinggal-tinggal kan". Growing up I was taught to fear him, when he says no, it really means NO. When I was little, he used to take me out for local football matches and the parks, this is back when I was the obedient little L. But then I started making friends, and grow up into a monsterina, the disciplinarian stepped in.

I hated that gut wrenching feeling when I thought that the whole world was against me, especially my dad. Then, when I was in boarding school, I realized that in his own way, he loved me. In the 5 years I was there, he never missed a weekend, he'd come in on Saturday (to pick up laundry, send food.. heheh) and again on Sunday (to drop off laundry and more food..). Even when the car broke down, he'd take the cab, even borrowed his friend's car. That's love.

He did the same thing for all of us.

Years passed, and I believe his brand of tough love worked out for us. But one thing never changed, his no nonsense, business like style of communicado. I received an email from him last night, and it made me laugh out loud.


From: Papa
Re: Request for brunch

L**, Papa heard from Mami that she cancelled your proposal to have Brunch at the Famous Hotel (Yacht ).Kindly make an arrangement so that we can have the Brunch or whatsoever at the Hotel. I told her that this is an opportunity not to be missed.
Regards.


On top of being his little girl, I am also his PA ..

-soon-to-be-tour-guide-L

7 days and counting..

When I get back to KL, I want to –

. eat jambu batu / jambu air with assam boi powder

. go to suzi’s corner and order Maggie goreng ("basah" with lots of cut cili api)

. meet up with my friends and goss my brains out

. hang out at Chinoz with Subby Hubby and bitch ..

. catch up with outlaws gossip with my biras, heheheh

. catch the latest family goss from Sing Sing Gal

. go for a facial

. get my mum to cook anything and everything..*drooollllss*

. round up the usual suspects and eat cakes at Alexis

. eat roti canai near Entrepreneurina’s office

. stock up on low heel shoes, watch out Vincci!

. have my hair restyled by Super Stylist

. stock up on dvd’s

. have the nasi lemak at Kg. Bharu with everything on!

. go for mani and pedi.. aahhh..

. go for long lunches with anyone available

. order the banana fritters with ice cream at Mdm Kwan’s

soon.. L.. soon..

-wiping-drool-L

Me, myself & I

I do believe that I am the MOST selfish person in the world nowadays. Everything is about ME. When it comes to food, it’s what I want to eat or drink. When I go to sleep, Homer, is only allowed to watch his daily dosage of Desperate Housewives using headsets. When I have the hunger pangs in the middle of the night, I’ll wake Homer up so he can make toast/soup/instant noodle for me, as I may faint from all the hunger.

My drinks have to be just the right mix of Sunquick and cold water, juices must be chilled and not too sweet. I have priority when it comes to bathroom use. If I say my breasts hurts, it will remain that way until I say so, no touching… or even staring! I must never come in contact with trash, and it has to be taken out everytime I say so. I decide which programmes I prefer to watch, and that’s final. Everything must be done my way… or the highway, baby!

I do believe that Homer is trapped in a hellish nightmare created by none other than evil moi.. Muahahahahaha… For the guys, be happy that I’m NOT your wife.. and for the girls, pray that your other half is as tolerant as Homer.

On another, less self absorbed note, (yeah, rrrright .. ) I realized that prunes really do what they’re supposed to. I may have ingested too much prunes yesterday and therefore had to suffer the whole of last night. So my lesson of prunes while being preggers would be to eat no more than 10 a day.

-queen-L

What I did (eat) today.

Woke up, extremely annoyed with Homer for sleeping too close and breathing out his carbon monoxide on my face.

Peed, wash face and brushed my teeth, not particularly in that order.

Walked downstairs to the kitchen, poured milk into my bowl of cereal, had some orange juice and switched on the computer.

Replied to some work mails, made 2 piece of toast and slathered them with cream cheese spread. Finished it off with 2 glasses of apple juice.

Looked into the fridge and saw yesterday’s leftover roast beef sandwich, ate it. More juice.

Sent Homer to work, in silence as still very annoyed with him (for the carbon monoxide and ……. Argh!)

Made several phone calls, more work mails and read about the progress of my pregnancy. Think I am obsessed with all these pregnancy websites, must stop. Oohh! Just found a site that has yoga videos for preggers people.. woohoo!

Dang! I’m hungry again. Made more toast, spread the cream cheese, then remembered that I have two hard boiled egg in the fridge. Sliced them up, mix in some mayo and voila.. egg mayo sandwich. Washed it down with cold water.

I spy with my eye, something round and orange. Mandarin oranges, peeled them and had 2. (They’re oranges and therefore good for me, plus its rich with vitamin C, right?)

God almighty! I’m still hungry!

*sigh*

2 scoops of Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream sounds good.

One of the website says that I don’t have to eat for two, even though I am pregnant. I only need an extra 300 calories. Does the above add up to 300 calories? I t-think so!

Arrrgghh... and it's only 2.30 pm...

-10-weeks-and-counting-L

Doctor, doctor .. Where art thou?

Being abroad is tough, especially when you’re only 5 months into your new territory. Not knowing where to hang out, making new friends, yadda..yadda..

With my new condition, I am faced with a slight quandary, where can I find a good OB-GYN? Someone I can feel comfortable with, excellent communication with patients, using up to date technology, no previous malpractice suits, and most importantly, gentle when it comes to you-know-what….

In short, what I want is … dare I say it? A Vagina Whisperer…

*sigh*

I miss Dr. Alex

-does-this-mean-I-have-a-wild-vagina-L?

He made me cry!

I just bawled my eyes out over Oprah - The Live Strong, Lance Armstrong interview. But this is NOT due to pregnancy emotional roller coaster ride, at least not entirely. I AM AN EMOTIONAL person and my eyes turn into watery pools whenever I watch sad movies or the likes of that. I cry at weddings, and I remembered that sometimes when I am far away from Homer, I could call him up at godly hours and sobbed away, missing him. But it could still be partly due to pregnancy.. I mean, I was making spinach and mushroom pastry (recipe courtesy from Lisa), listening to the interview and crying.. all at the same time! The spinach pie turned out fantastic, considering that this is my first time EVER making a pie! And all that while sobbing for Lance Armstrong... ********** Arghh! Homer just called to say that we're having dinner out, his ex-colleague from Tehran is in town.. Ah well, more pies for me!! -baker-L

Was that the hormones?

It's only been 5 days since the "big" news but I can see so much changes in me already. I wonder whether I feel this way because I am pregnant or because I have read up too much stuff on pregnancy online. I think I've been to too many websites on pregnancy.. I mean really, a lot, so much so that I have even stumbled on a website that showed a porn star's nude photo of herself a few days before her due date.. (. I am secretly hoping that I'll look as good as she does when I've packed up so much weight!) Physically, I see no difference yet.. perhaps some tightening around the tummy area and my breast hurts like hell. I sleep way earlier than my normal time.. by 9.00 pm, and I am up and about(and surprisingly chirpy) by 7.30 am. This is so out of this world! I've NEVER been a morning person... Mentally... woo hooo.. I have upped my "activities" exponentially. I know that Homer feels like all this is killing him softly.. pushing him away, yelling at him (more than usual), doing quadruple eye-roll with perfect landing (never knew I could do that!) ... Yesterday, we went car window shopping to celebrate his passing of Dubai driving license. It has always been my dream to drive that big Landcruiser, so I was hopping on and off the 4WD .. then Homer pointed out that I won't be able to do much of the "hopping" in 4 months time.. Ooohh.. the whole showroom turned to ice with a single shot of my look. Still sad with the fact that I may never have my Landsruiser, I kept quiet on the drive home. Was getting a little hungry so I was glad I packed some sandwiches in my bag. While opening the plastic zip container, I felt so overwhelmed with the fact that I actually packed sandwiches in my bag, that I bawled, "Oh no!! I am officially a bag lady .. I have everything I think I need in my bag!!!" I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry ... was it the hormones or just plain reading way too much information. In any case.. one of the website pointed out that I have 32 more weeks to look forward to.. I wonder if Homer can "tahan" that long.. -hungry-all-the-time-L

That little blue line

This is it, I am now at a junction in my life where a whole new bunch of challenges lies ahead. Peoples – I am with child, preggers, soon to be mommy.. whatever you want to call it, I AM PREGNANT!

We took the pee stick test about 5 days ago, and got a confusing result. A positive result should show a ‘+’ on one of the window, but mine just shows the straight top to bottom line without the horizontal line. Great, I thought, my life is needlessly complicated..haha!

I finally got a confirmation from a gynae at the London Dubai Clinic 2 days ago.

I am still stunned.

I broke the news to my family and close friends, who seems to be more excited than I am. And I wondered, what is wrong with me? Homer can’t wipe the smug smile off his face, and already beginning to annoy me with, “are you okay, sweetie?” every 10 minutes. Hmmph!

Just got a call from the gynae who confirmed my blood and urine test came back healthy, and so I should look forward to a healthy first tri-mester. Okay, so far so good..

According to the doctor, I am 8 weeks into my pregnancy, which means, I took my little bundle to see the ping pong show .. Aiyeee! Well, let’s just hope that it was still in its embryonic stage and was not be affected with what I saw .. eheheh.

-sleeping-earlier-like-I’ve-never-done-before-L

Life ..

Since the beginning of time, the big ol' question is .. What is the meaning of life? This is not an attempt to give a quick fix on what life is all about BUT, here's my take. Simply put - Life is a series of challenge, and the trick is to overcome each of the challenge that comes and see what other obstacle lies ahead.. and again tackle that challenge. Put it this way - every morning, we face the challenge of starting the day, by way of dragging our butt off to the bathroom, shower and get ready. As a kid, the challenge is to get adults to understand you, and in order to do that, the kid has to learn to communicate, and learn to emulate the adults. As a student, you need to overcome the academic year and get your degree, then you face the big bad world of "work". As a singleton, your hurdle is to find that perfect person. If you're married, then you're faced with the challenge of sharing your life with your other half. If you find yourself without any challenge, then I can bet that you find yourself wondering what life is all about. Well, stop wondering and challenge yourself. It's weird, but life is NOT life when it is NOT complicated. I'm up for a BIG.. HUGE challenge .. and I'm already taking it in stride, or am I? -back-in-sandy-dubai-L

Reflections

Have you ever wondered how others see you?

What do people see when they look at me? Looking at how they almost always speak either Mandarin or Cantonese, I’m assuming that I must appear “chinese-ey”.. What with my “sepetness”. But when I look at my pictures and the mirror, I see nothing of such. But over the years I have come to accept my appearance. Although, if anyone ever catches a glimpse of my IC, I could seriously pass off as someone’s maid. It is and still one of my most horrible picture.

I wondered today, as I trained the class, how they saw me. Young (ish), loud voiced, cheerful, confident, ms-know-it-all (at least on the subject), travels a lot .. Wow! I sound really good. But the fact is, I’m tired and I really can’t wait to see the self acclaimed fatty Homer.

i-wonder-if-i-have-a-funny-walk-L

The trainer in me..

Many of my friends think that I have a pretty easy going job, which I do and LOVE, but, when the time comes, I’ll be busy as a bee or the worker ant. I’ve been busting my ass talking to customers, telling people what should be done, spending time with my colleague and finding out what’s new at the head office.

And now it’s time for my trip to Singapore for a 3 day training. A big part of my job is actually to train people. There, I’ve said it. I am sort of a teacher, something I never imagined I will do. In fact I train people on how to …….. Well, I’ll leave it at that as I don’t think I want to divulge what exactly I do. For security reasons, I am sure you understand.

It’s going to be stressful and unnerving training in Singapore. The select few will ask very technical questions and I don’t quite like giving out too many technical information as it can get very boring and half the class would be nodding off to ZZ land. I can go ON and ON about light properties and angles etc, but that’s just not my style, you know??

Now, the two most important question is, what shall I wear and should I wear my hair up or down?

-nominated-best-dressed-trainer-L

The things I can think of

Because I have been working and traveling hard, I rewarded myself with a spa treatment, Javanese lulur massage.. ahhhhh… Mariam (the masseuse) started me off with a foot bath and salt scrub, then a full body massage and finally the Javanese lulur scrub. It’s been a while .. and what can I say, it was orgasmic. I felt like hugging her when I was done, I mean, I have been traveling and working none stop for the past 2 months and another strenuous leg by the end of this week. I held back .. Knowing that it is utterly weird and can be totally misconstrued, after all my sighing during the massage. Although … I have to say, at one point during the massage, I was struck with this thought. Has any of the masseuse ever slipped while massaging the lower part of the body? It is just a thought okay? I have NEVER experienced it myself, but just think.. All that oil .. strong hand pressure and movement .. slippery upper thighs .. In any case, my muscles are now relaxed and my whole body smells spa-ish.. ahhh. Oh! And another thing, why bother with the disposable g-strings, when we are covered “there” by towels anyway? -kneaded-and-softened-L

I felt it ...

It was surreal, I was about to go to sleep when the room swayed. I was under the covers and I thought my spinning headache is back. I closed my eyes and kept under covers thinking happy thoughts. Then, the phone rang. It was my colleague, frantically asking me whether I felt the tremors. I'm wide awake now. Was seriously thinking of checking out and drive back to KL, but my father and Homer advised against it. They told me to calm down and whatever it is stay away from the beach. Hello? The hotel is along Gurney Drive.. where do I run to? I've decided not to let my fear get to me, and just wait for official announcements. The hotel staff mentioned that during the previous Tsunami inceident, the water didn't even reach the hotel, and even their basement was not affected. So, after much contemplation, I decided to go back to my room, on the 35th floor. And tune to the local news. As I peer out of my window, the sea looks dark .. . I pray that the tremors I felt will not be as devastating as the previous earthquake. -all-packed-L

Yay to Monday!

I never thought I'd say this but I am GLAD that the weekend is over! For the first time in my life, I am thankful that it's Monday. It's been a mind numbing weekend, explaining, showing and more explaining. I've been couped up and today, finally I can see the sky! Penang is NOT shrouded by haze and I look forward to stuffing myself with food tonight. And as a bonus, I got to drive up to Tanjong Bungah last night to Waterworld for great seafood dinner. Having said that, my baby sitting job is all BUT over. *sigh*. Another long week with my colleague. Can't wait to get back to KL so he can just mind his own business while I sort out the trillion things that should've been done yesterday! Maybe I can just drop him off at Batu Ferringhi and leave him there to bask in the sun while I go for a massage??? Mat Salleh loves the sun and the sea right?? And guess what? I haven't even started booking for flight for the next leg of my trip.. arrghh!! I take it back... No Yay to Monday! -i-want-my-masage-now!-L

TGIF???

This just in; within days of recovering from a viral fever, L will be making a trip up north to ensure that the launch program with her business partner goes well.

*sigh*

I was hoping for a leisurely drive up, but with the heavy haze, I'm really not looking forward to it. Damn, and I wanted to show my colleague how beautiful it is outside of KL.

The backache has gotten worse, the laundry is piled up high, the apartment needs a vacuum and a mop and as usual, I haven't packed.. arggggghh! Maybe it is the curse of the ping pong show?

Isn't Friday supposed to be a good day?

-babysitter-L

All better..

I have been down with a nasty virus since I got back from Bangkok, and NO, it's not what you think. Fever, runny nose and massive headaches. Last night, I actually saw my whole room swing, and I puked my guts out. Nasty.

I have to get well soon, I've got a long 2 weeks ahead, my colleague is coming for some demonstrations and then I'm off for training sessions in Singapore.

Woke up groggy from my "swinging" room, and heard the familiar melody coming from my mobile.

Text message:

"Channel News Asia reports the death of an old Japanese woman aged 104. It is reported that she is the oldest virgin ever. Her name was Mati Mati Takmaukasi."

LOL! Feeling better already.

-hungry-like-mad-L

Wanna see a show??

Finally, we caught the show.. With ping pong balls, chopsticks, whistles, bananas, etc. as their props. Talk about great muscle control *down there*. The girls in the club were all topless, while some were naked altogether, not unlike the go-go bars downstairs. Homer mentioned that he was getting sick and tired of watching titties by the end of the show. (Yeah.. right) You've heard so much about these type of shows, that you come in with expectations, but it's nothing like what I imagined it to be. I had this "Moulin Rouge" set going on in my head, with girls doing their acts on a burlesque designed stage, and girls with peacock feathers in their hair taking our orders. Here's the real deal- We were greeted by a topless lady who showed us where to sit. I can see that Homer's colleague and boss were a little bit uncomfortable. The girls were not as pretty as the ones in the go-go club, but they were friendlier. The stage was decorated with balloons and 4 naked ladies were grooving while waiting for the show to start. Between acts we had to endure the 4 naked lady (national geograhic - esque) grooving. Although I have to say I am in awe of one lady who managed to pick up plastic glow in the dark bangles using chopsticks. Yes! Chopsticks! I left the place feeling somewhat deflated ... now I have to add a few more things to my "I'll never be able to do list". -down-with-flu-L

Sawa-Dee-Kaaa!

I arrived yesterday to screaming adoring fans and gazillion camera flashes.

Automatically, my hands went up to cover my face, "No pictures, please!". (this is the drama queen in me)

Not my fans of course. I just happen to walk out just before a Taiwanese pop star. The screams were deafening. I nearly had a heart attack plus, I think I'm a little deaf now.

The people in Homer's group are such do-gooders, no one knows where to go for the "tiger" shows, and seriously, I feel that the novelty is wearing off. *sigh* Am I a freak for wanting to see ping pong balls shows? Hey, you have to do this once in your life, right?

Plus, I can't seem to see my haloscan... argh!

-tired-L

When animals attack!

I’m a channel flicker. Until I see something interesting, I’ll leave it on for a while and see whether I want to stay on that channel. So I happened to settle for a while on channel 17. “When Animals Attack” was showing. Argh! Frantically pushed the "+" button.

These types of show scare me and bring back memories. I know I can be such a drama queen, but seriously, the marks on my upper arm remind me everyday of my “freak” attack.

We were on the last day of our honeymoon, everything was perfect and we had scheduled for a couples massage in the afternoon. We thought we’d go for a little bit of snorkeling before lunch. Into the clear, blue, turquoise water we went, swimming with my little fishies.

It was as if the beautiful school of fish knew I was leaving, they actually followed me back to the shallows of the beach. So decided to sit with my snorkeling gear on and played with them for a while before retiring on the hammock.

Gbvrroooo…vbfroow… (the sound of Homer saying something with his snorkel on), while tugging on my leg.

Fbrooo…gwbrooof..

Felt a bump on my arm.

Saw a moray eel swimming literally inches away from me.

Stood up immediately, turned to Homer and said, “OMG! Isn’t that moray eel?”

I think it bit you.
OowwwwwWWwooowwwWWoo. It stings! Argh! There’s blood.. OwwooWW
It’s okay, sweetie. It’s only a little bit, okay?
You sure?
Yes, sikit je. Come up, I’ll wrap it with a towel first okay?

Oww..ooww… pedih.. oww owWW
I just use the bath towel first okay?
Is it bad? It feels really bad..
No, a little bit only..
Tipu..
I call someone first okay? We’ll get you to a clinic.
Why? You said sikit je? OMG.. you’re lying aren’t you?
No.. but maybe we have to stitch it up..
Haa?? Oww.. ooWWW Oww

5 minutes later. A young boy came with 3 band-aids and some iodine.

Erm, I think we should take her to a clinic .. NOW
Sir, you said an eel bit your wife?
Yes! And I think we need more than the band aids..

Eh, I thought you said it’s a little bite..
I know sweetie, but it is always good to have it checked by the doctor, right?
Let me have a look at the bite.

Unwraped the towel, lifted my right arm.

Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God! You are right sir, I bring the Marine Biologist to have a look at her!

He started to run and fell, got to his feet again and ran again. Fast.

This is when I started crying, “You lied! You said it was just a little bite.. And it’s really painful” *Bawl*

We waited another 10 minutes, and by that time I was really worried. What if the thing was poisonous? Am I going to lose my arm? I don’t want to die on my honeymoon! Help! (Paranoid or what??)

The marine biologist insists that a moray eel does not come to the beach area, in fact they are usually found in deep waters. Who cares? We know what we saw. We watch Animal Planet, Goddamit! Homer unwrapped the towel and showed the wound.

Gasp! (Screaming to walkie talkie) get the speed boat ready! We’re sending Mrs. L to the clinic!

OOhoohoo. Now you believe us. My arm must look really horrible. There was so much buzz around us as we went to the jetty.

To cut long story short, I was asked to identify the culprit, which was a type of moray eel, a young one. The German doctor poured hydrogen peroxide on my arm and armpit, while his colleague snapped on my wounds. For educational purpose, he said. So, if you happen to see a picture of a woman's armpit with deep bite marks, that’s me!

This was also the day Homer discovered how well I can swear and use really bad and ugly Malay words! All thanks to hydrogen peroxide.

Because we were leaving that night, the doctor said that it won’t be good to stitch it up, plus he’s worried that there might be an infection which will make it worse. He cleaned it up nicely (and painfully) and told us to seek further medical attention when we get back to KL. Moray eels are not poisonous, but they eat dead fish so they have a lot of bacteria in their mouth, so I was given some antibiotics, pain killers and a few jabs (on my ass!) to help me through the afternoon.

Everyone on the resort fussed over me, from the manager to our masseuse. But I’m afraid that I will be forever be remembered by all the staff on that resort, as fish bait.

Back in KL, as we were rushing to the hospital, Homer told the story to my family. And my smart ass brother, J said, “Tu la… tak mandi terus masuk laut, deodorant pun mesti tak pakai!”. I wanted to strangle him, but I was high on painkillers.

-scarred-L

Latte at Ten

We had very interesting company last night. Well, not really company; per say, more like having 3 girls seated within our earshot, and eavesdropped on their conversation. (Can’t help it, think 3 very excited girls dishing out on what they think relationships are all about!)

YT 1: What was the most expensive gift you ever gave your boyfriend?
YT 2: Mmm, the first time we went out, I bought him a pair of Levi’s
YT 3: Oh, I actually bought my boyfriend the Sony Ericsson K700i phone, I just love giving him stuff. It really shows my commitment to him.

Wow! Are these girls for real? A mobile phone for the boyfriend? A pair of Levi’s on the first date? They could not be more than 20 years old!

YT 1: I don’t know whether he’s flirting with me or what..
YT 2: Well how does he act around you?
YT 1: You know he’s very touchy – touchy.
YT 3: He’s definitely flirting with you. If he keeps touching you while talking to you, that’s definitely flirting. Anything other than that is NOT!
YT 1: Ohhh..

My God! Entrepreneurina nearly snorted out her latte through her nose! “Flirting is not about touching while talking. You can still flirt with your eyes, smile, words? Should we tell them?” She yelped.

What we heard next is priceless.

YT 1: I’m not sure whether he’s my boyfriend or not..
YT 2: Why do you say that?
YT 3: He calls you a lot, right?
YT 1: Yeah and we sms each other a lot too.
YT 3: Well you guys are definitely boyfriend and girlfriend! It’s obvious that he cares for you!

To which Subby Hubby retorts, “Honey, he can be IN you and still not BE with you!”

Too true!

We all wanted to do the Young Things a favor and teach them a thing or two about boys and the crap that comes with it, but obviously it was not our place to say anything. Besides they were probably like me when I was “green” and would have “pooh-poohed” us as crazy “loser thirty somethings”.

YT 1: And what about you and Mr. X?
YT 2: I think he’s definitely ‘the one’ and I don’t want to lose him
YT 1: You know what, you should tell him.
YT 2: And say what?
YT 3: That even if you guys break up, you will still be friends, forever!

Seriously, Young Things! Why even bring this up?? You have NO idea how it’s going to end up and you’re already talking about staying friends forever?

I wondered if the 40 year olds next to us were listening to us, then Entrepreurina, Subby Hubby and me would be the “Young Things”.

-truly-learnt-my-lessons-L

Is it really the middle of March?

I cannot believe we’re halfway through March already. I’ve been so busy coming in and out of KL only to see that the first quarter of the year had literally whizzed by! And I am anticipating this week to pass by like lightning too.

Tomorrow I’ll be tied up the whole day training .. Not looking forward to it but hey, a girl’s got to make some money for all those shopping. I am reserving Wednesday for meetings before joining Homer in Bangkok on Thursday.

Aaah, busy Bangkok. Where Homer and his “homies” eagerly looks forward to hop in go-go bars and watch shows where ping pong balls and razors comes out from the tunnel of love (or is it just tunnel for them?).

I’ve been to Bangkok a couple of times before for work but I never did get to watch these shows. Me and my friend Dior, just could not bring ourselves into any of the clubs. Walking along Patpong road, we can see the topless girls dancing on table tops, writhing against the poles.

From where we were, we can hear the girls talking to each other, “ ar- rrai.. swwammmee.. krang krong raaaiiii… khap kum kaaa….” (this is my horrible interpretation of their beautiful language), it sounds like they were talking about normal stuff, probably they were talking about what they had for lunch or how they were stuck in traffic. We can see all the men oogling and cheering them on, while the girls just kept on dancing and talking; ignoring their drunken “adoring” crowd.

Some men were tugging on us to get into the club, “ come in madaamm, yu will enjoii.. show vely sensual.. vely sensuaalll.. madam! Come, come.. you and flend, pretty girls. You will laaiikk, sensual maadaaamm..”

Aieeeeeeeee!!!

We would have gone in but after seeing the girls dancing and talking like that we were not sure how we would enjoy the show. They look like they HAD to do it rather than they WANT to do it. So we wouldn’t know whether we should applaud and slip in tips on their G-string or just stare blankly at them and pretend we’re enjoying the show.

So any suggestions on where I should take Homer and his “homies” for a great boys night out?

-damn-good-wife-L

All for Mr ...

Buaya 69, who linked me on this-

1. What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

4.42 Gb equivalent to 1,116 songs. Wow! I can’t believe I have that much music. Though I have to say that this is shared between me and Homer. Unfortunately, we can’t afford 2 iPods. Mostly mainstream music, a little bit of ol’ skool (aah, the good old days), pretty much straightforward, trying to keep up with the music nowadays with the hope of being “hip” …. Yeah!


2. The CD you last bought?

While in Bandung (the land of cheap CD’s .. whaddaya know?), I bought 3 in one go: - Robbie Williams, The Greatest Hits.
- Peterpan, Bintang di Surga (Indonesian band)
- Melly Goeslaw (Indonesian Female artist)

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?

Do you really want to hurt me? – Culture Club. ONLY because I was watching Naomi Campbell in a tell-all interview and she mentioned that she once danced in of one of their video clips, and they played the song … okay, so sue me.


4. Write down five songs that you often listen to or that means a lot to you

I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)– a must karaoke song! Plus, it’s my booster beat.

Stars (Simply Red) - *aahhh*, I wanna fall from the sky..straight into your arms..

The sun ain’t gonna shine - song – Can somebody please refresh my memory on this? You know that clubby song? To those who partied at DV8, Base, help? Faarrrrkkkkk! How can I forget this one??

Galvanize (Chemical Brothers)– *new* there’s just something about that line: “my finger is on the button”

Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani)- *new* nanananana..while singing, wishing that I am wealthy.

5. Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Izuan, cos’ I wonder what the younger generation listen to. And then perhaps I can dream about that frilly mini skirt again…

MzMin, apparentlly she’s broody today so I want to know what she’s been listening to.

Kusumadevi, since she’s soooo out this world after her “hare ohm hare ohm” trip.


Apparently there’s a curse. According to Buaya 69, in Irish it's Go gcreime maorlathaí míthrócaireach do dhiosca crua! Don’t ask me..

Right, now I can pack and hopefully be on time for my flight.

-back-in-kl-tomorrow-L

What will they come up with next?

Right now, I'm watching "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!". It's about a bunch of celebrities, (of which I have no idea who they mostly are) staying together in a jungle somewhere in Australia. I only recognise a few of the male celebs; Tyson Beckford (the model), Chris Judd (J Lo's ex hubby) and Robin Leach (Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous host) but none of the females. I assume that they have to do some grossed out feat to get through the day and get some sort of reward. Bleargh! I'm changing the channel! .. I miss the Amazing Race.. -what-the?-L