Huh?

Super Lawyer Gal is right on the nose on this, as the pregnancy progresses, you become more absent minded, forgetful, you become a scatterbrain. In short, I have become a bimbo, a tummy protruding BIMBO that badly needs to touch up her blonde highlights.

Last night, the biggest concert ever was held in various countries to lobby the G8 leaders to erase the debt of the African countries in hope to eradicate poverty. While watching the live performances from one venue to another, my mind raced to start an intelligent conversation, perhaps start a first-class discussion with Homer then possibly write a thought provoking entry for the blog that has so far been very much light in its contents.

Nope, nada, habuk pun tarak..

These are some of the things that came out from yours truly.

- You know what? Only Snoop Dog can get away having his hair done up in pigtails, braided and tied with those bubbles hair bands.

- Wow.. Simon LeBon looks so old.

- Will Smith is HOT! (shamelessly imitating Paris Hilton)

- What’s up with Tim McGraw's jeans? Doesn’t he know that jeans worn up to the navel is OUT?

- I wonder if we can see Mr. Shellman’s apartment? (when they were showing a bird’s eye view of the Hyde Park concert.)

- Gosh.. Michelle (Destiny’s Child) looks so thin…. *benci*

- If I had money like Madonna, I’m sure I can look as great as she does! Damn those arms!!

- OOoohhh… Josh (Groban)… *followed by sobs*

- Mana Mariah Carey niiii??? Did I miss her?

The next thing I knew Homer tapped me on my shoulder telling me it’s time for bed, and I groggily walked upstairs and continued my Zzzzzzz’s.

Have I lost the ability to carry on meaningful exchanges? Well, not entirely, I’m saving those precious brainworks for business.

-all-is-not-entirely-lost-L

As good as it gets..

Alright, so I am married to Homer for 3 years now, plus a year of “courting”.. a total of 4 years now I have been exposed to Homer“isms”. Give and take 2 years of long distance relationship (before and after the wedding), I’d say he has completely let down his guards when he’s around me, or as he puts it, showing the “real” Homer. Although you can never really be too sure when it comes to guys (or girls for that matter), anything can happen, right????

I’ve seen him doing the most stupid things, like showing off his “muscles” (more like jiggling his wobbly one-pack-belly) in front of the mirror and then turn to me and say, “ you want this???” in the most perverted way you can imagine (this happens on a regular basis), to suddenly breaking into some dance moves (he ain’t no Travolta) while getting some drinks from the fridge (in his underwear, mind you, and STILL on a regular basis).

At times he would talk to himself about how good he looked (or so he thinks) that day and how well he handles a certain situation. He gets this intense expression on his face whenever he plays the Xbox (which finally came after nearly 10 months in Iranian packing company limbo), and cursing the characters that didn’t die even though he had pressed the green button a zillion times. I’m still waiting for his drool to come out during these tense moments…

The other day I had the chance to see him proffesionally in one of his work presentations (saw the clip from his laptop.. ha-ha! Don’t ever think that this little missus can’t access your computer!) . I can see how he can be a pain. During Q & A, he kept saying, “ee-zactly.. ee-zactly..” whenever he meant yes and interjected “UN-derstood.. UN-derstood..” after each question. Haiyoh!

Sometimes I wonder if we’re really ready for the next challenge.. Well, at least we have the best of each other to work with, and that can’t be bad.

-not-perfect-as-well-L

Hot and sticky

I’m back in Dubai, right smack when the weather gets really warm and humid. That’s the reason why you all back in KL see an influx of the Arabs, they’re running away from the hot and sticky weather! Today, it’s supposed to be 41 degrees centigrade with 85% humidity. Imagine being in a very badly ventilated basement car park, double the heat… That’s exactly how I feel every time we leave the house.

And guess what? It is ONLY the beginning of summer…

On the upside, the Dubai Summer Surprise is here! Shopping report coming up as soon as I can brave the weather. Anyone for some tanning and sauna????


-feeling-hot-hot-hot!-L

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday we hit the 3 year mark, yes, 3 years ago Homer confidently pronounced, “Aku terima nikah … yada, yada .. lapan puluh ringgit, tunai.” .

I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already. It just feels like yesterday, I saw him grinning ear to ear after saying the nikah vows at one go, hence sealing his membership of “The One Shot Club” (lame ain’t it??).

We celebrated with California Pizza Kitchen take away on our funky plates, illuminated by 2 candles. I had my comfortable shorts and tank top on while Homer had the same thing on…. haha.. he wore his t-shirt actually. Him wearing the tank top would have spoiled dinner..

We adjourned 3 steps away from the dining area into our living room and spent the night watching CSI Las Vegas and channel V.

And guess what? I did not hang my head over the toilet bowl last night.

Bliss. Happiness is knowing you can be on cloud nine with minimal effort.

-itchy-tummy-L

Wanna be my punching bag?

In any pregnancy literature, you will definitely come across references on cravings or yearning for certain types of food. Like pickles and ice cream (?) for the mat sallehs and jeruks and assam boi for us locals.

With all the hormonal changes that is wreaking havoc through the system, pregnant woman often craves (or even aversion) for certain types of food, have heightened sense of smell, acute awareness of (ahem!) female instinct .. yada, yada.

But what they failed to highlight (at least in my case) is that I have this strong itch to smack my hands across Homer’s face. Yes! One of those Alexis-tight slapping action that will throw Homer off his balance.

I know it’s wrong to hurt anyone, but that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my craving for the past few weeks. We have discussed this “topic” many times, much to Homer’s alarm. Being the supportive hubby he is, he always said that I can take it out on him… And I’d sometimes plant my hands on his cheeks, NEVER full force though cos’ he screams like a girl whenever I raise my hands.

Last night, while watching a movie that featured infidelity, I just couldn’t control myself (remember, I AM emotionally charged). With Homer’s guard completely down, I gave him a sharp kick and pinched him like I never did before, with a couple of slaps here and there. His expression changed from shocked, bewildered and finally comical. What did he do after my mini rage burst?

Chuckling and giggling… “Puas? Happy?”, He asked.

Perhaps I should enroll myself in anger management class.


-not-really-“puas”-L

The things we do...

Working from home gives me the opportunity of being in my jammies, watch TV and read my mails, all at the same time. Excellent! Cue air guitar action ala Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

I’m watching Discovery channel as I write this, the Science of Star Wars – how the Jedi’s way are similar to the disciples of the Shaolin temple. A scene caught my attention, I realized that the Shaolin monks “poses” as they run out of the temple. You know what I mean.. “eagle-ish” and “ultraman” hand movements as they jump out of the entrance into the temple’s courtyard.

Stylish and intimidating at the same time, I have to say.

Why don’t we start doing it? Every time we leave the house, strike a pose. I dared Homer to start.

******************************

I take it back, we should NEVER strike pose.. or at least Homer and I should NEVER do it. If you resemble a 6 foot grizzly bear or 16 weeks pregnant, shaolin poses is NOT the look you want to go for.

-striking-a-pose-L

note: Homer humored me with an ultraman pose as he went down to take something from the car… *wiping tears*.. reason #683 why I married this guy.

Of barfing and tummy expansion

For the past two months, every night, without fail, I will find my head hanging over the toilet bowl. Staring down on the muck of pottage, I’m beginning to wonder when my (evening) sickness will stop.. It’s tough, and my face resembles the color of a cooked lobster afterwards.

Being the drama queen that I am, the thought of suffering from an eating disorder have crossed my mind.. I mean, barfing out everything you ate each and every night is unnatural, especially when they’re really good food. But after browsing through the latest Us Weekly, and seeing pictures of Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan, I have come up with the conclusion that - I am NOT “suffering” from anorexia or any other form of eating disorder.

You’ll understand if you can just see how I am now. I look nothing like them. (Haha! What was I thinking??)

And so, I just have to accept that I may suffer from my morning sickness throughout the pregnancy. On a more pleasant note, I think I’m beginning to embrace my tiny bump. In fact, Homer and I have been comparing the size of our tummies. Homer, of course, is still the clear winner.

-1st-runner-up-L

Who’s afraid of little ol’ me??

I love jumping on and scaring the bejeezus out of Homer. This morning, I had the perfect opportunity. He was about to finish his shower, so I decided to wait quietly next to the bathroom door, ready to pounce on him as he gets out.

I fluffed some pillows and hid it under the covers, hence creating the illusion that I was still asleep. Tip toed across the room and waited by the door. I was waiting for a quite a while… (Homer is one those guys that takes longer than girls to get ready) ..

Then I realized that he could see my reflection on the mirrors that lines up against the adjacent wall! Damn those mirrors.. I crouched down, hoping that the bed’s reflection can cover mine. So, there I was, a-la crouching tiger, hidden dragon, waiting for Homer to open the door.

He opened the door, calling me to wake up. I can tell that he’s putting gel on his hair.. well, it’s either that or he was admiring his own reflection.. creepy, I know… A few minutes passed, finally, he stepped out of the bathroom, calling for me.. Uhh, he still hasn’t seen me crouching down next to him..

Hihihihihihi..

I reached out my hands…

HWAARGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! What the f*#k are you doing????, he roared.

Me, rolling on the floor… Trust me, he was completely white, nothing funnier than seeing my Homer jumping out of his skin..

Picture this - I was wearing black tank top and black shorts, my long (and nicely blown from my salon trip yesterday) hair let down, on the floor with my arms arms outstretched to him… a scene right out of a Japanese scary movie… Muahahaha.. I am BAD.

The best thing is this – I can do it to him, but he can’t do it to me. This is my screwed up definition of marriage… MUAHAHA! *evil laugh continues*

-13-is-31-backwards-L

Is it really over?

Yes it is.

Woke up this morning to the sound of traffic instead of waves. A clear and sure sign that the vacation is indeed over. KK was fantastic, the mountains, the beaches .. and the wedding was beautiful. To Mr. and Missus Shellman, congratulations and get ready for a fantastic ride!


**************


Yes it is.

I am officially over the age of 30. So far so good. I suppose when you’ve already hit the big 3-0 mark, you don’t really care about the number that comes after it. So really, turning 31 is not so bad. After all. I did get to blow my candles twice, once at KK and another one in KL.. celebrations in 2 cities.. beat that!

The best thing was, the polaroid picture of me blowing the candle looks GGOOOD.. I still got it!!


-girl-with-a-mini-bump-L

The Land Beneath The Wind

Being married to Homer is beginning to pay off. We have an AMAZING suite! Huge balcony, which will easily accomodate a party for 20..not that we're gonna have one. Bathroom fit for the King and Queen (of course..). Living and dining area, mini office with FREE high speed connection, outside dining area facing the beach... aaahhh...THIS is the life ..

All thanks to Homer's long stay in Shangri La Dubai, he gets free upgrades!! Moral of the story is - it pays to be loyal.

Gotta go, Homer's running the bath... I hope he puts in the nice bath salts.

-having-second-thoughts-on-moving-hotel-L

Feelin' Lo..

I’m totally not prepared for the Kota Kinabalu trip, I know my bloody problems are miniscule compared to all the problems of the world but I can’t help reflecting on the fact I am not 100% all the time.. *sigh* . Someone, please, snap me out of this. I’m fretting over the fact that I can’t fit in my kain baju kurung, and that I don’t have the perfect sarong wrap to match my tops…

God Almighty! I AM SELFISH!!!

I seriously need to talk to someone about this..

Thank God I’m seeing Brave Lawyer Gal today.. She should be able to put head on straight.

Homer’s coming home today and the house is in a mess again.. Damn! I need to buy a giant box to stuff all the junk that has been lying around the place. Wish I could put my f*#king insecurities in a box too.

-perhaps-it’s-the-nicotine-withdrawal-L

To burst or not to burst..

I truly think that Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood should consider starting a little somethin’-somethin’ . They look GREAT together… don’ cha think????

.. She’s a little bit country .. He’s little bit rock and roll ..

And with that, ladies and gentleman, I have officially morphed into one of those ladies that thinks they know whom other people should be with. A “real” makcik.

Speaking of being a makcik, I can’t believe it’s Friday again! Ever notice how time fly as we “mature”? Subby Hubby is taking me to a fancy dinner tonight and I still can’t decide what to wear. Seriously, I can’t fit in almost all of my fancy dresses, and I doubt wearing sweat pants and sports bra will go well with his fancy pinstripe suit..

There is something in the closet that might just work, I just need to make sure my “twins” will not burst the seams.. ooops!

-bustilicious-L

Anti-what?

And so... Homer has finally announced that he is taking a break. A break from blogging, that is. Between his additional responsilibities at work and coping with the 10 headed monsterina formerly know as his wife, I doubt that he has the energy and time to be “Homer”.

For those who will miss him (there’s quite a few, I tell ya), I’d still be writing stuff about him, his mishaps/mistakes/etc. And freely too.. he can't bash me back!

On other news, we’re entering the “busy” period.. busy celebrating birthdays (and anniversaries). It all began with Homer’s birthday, which is just last week! He can be such a baby .. Whining on how I didn’t call him first thing in the morning. For goodness sake, I sang Happy Birthday to him at the stroke of midnight, on the eve of his birthday!!! *sigh* Let’s just hope he’ll pull himself together when the baby arrives…

The following weeks will be followed with all the Gemini girls.. We’ll be celebrating birthdays left and right. Brave Lawyer Gal just turned 31, and so will Super Lawyer Gal… And then it will be .. mine… Aieeeee!!!!!

Thirty One .. Ah yes.. That time when you realize that all your beauty products have either the word “anti aging”, “anti wrinkle” .. “anti anything”. I’ll keep you updated on which cream works..

-La-La-L

3 months!

Apparently I am 12 weeks pregnant, not 14 weeks as calculated by the doctor in Dubai. That made more sense.. heheh, if you know what I mean..

It's been very educational, so far I have learned that-

1. I MUST take a nap in the afternoon.

2. I cannot stomach seafood .. *ugh*.. strange indeedy.

3. My face requires mostuirisation 24/7 .. at night, before sleeping, I resemble those girls with white masks on those facial mask ads, but instead of a mask, it is actually layers and layers of night cream.

4. If like me, you suffer from morning sickness (in my case it is actually night sickness), and cannot hold anything down. Refrain from eating spaghetti. Regurgitating spaghetti is hell.. Just trust me on this.

5. During the early stages of pregnancy, known as the first tri-mester (the first 3 months), you do not "look" pregnant yet, so brace yourself with comments like, "eh, you look a little fat" or "nampak berisi....". grrr..

-i-can't-believe-it's-Friday!-L

What happened to the list?

I had a list of things to do while I am back in KL, let’s see how that went:

. eat jambu batu / jambu air with assam boi powder
-done, but it wasn’t as satisfying as I imagined it to be. Dang!

. go to suzi’s corner and order Maggie goreng (not too dry with cut cili api)
-yum yums, what can I say… perfecto!

. meet up with my friends and goss my brains out
-ooo… yessss, plenty of gossip. But sorry guys, my lips are sealed, you never know who’s reading the blog .. MUAHAHAHAHA!

. hang out at Chinoz with Subby Hubby and bitch ..
-not yet, cos Subby Hubby has been soo busy…

. catch up with outlaws gossip with my biras
-apparently MOLly is looking forward to staying with us when I give birth.. Nooo, I want my mummy!!!!

. go for a facial
-face is still dry after facial… behave oh hormones… pretty please???

. get my mum to cook anything and everything..*drooollllss*
-feeling guilty as hell to ask her cook anything for dinner as it eventually comes out just before I sleep..

. round up the usual suspects and eat cakes at Alexis
-the usual suspects are apparently tied up with some impossible mission as I have yet to do any cake eating at Alexis..

. eat roti canai near Entrepreneurina’s office with fish curry
-the roti canai people went back to India, so we went to Raju’s instead.

. stock up on low heel shoes, watch out Vincci!
-dissapointed as there was nothing.. and I mean nothing for me… WHY????

. have my hair restyled by Super Stylist
-I have this cronic tiredness after lunch.. so I never got around to see him.. Zzzzzz

. stock up on dvd’s
-none. Again, I blame it on the new cronic feeling I get

. have the nasi lemak at Kg. Bharu with everything on!
-hmmm, maybe I can do that tonight…. Subby Hubby, howabourit?

. go for a mani and pedi.. aahhh..
-my toes are sooooo pretty. *happy sigh*

. go for long lunches with anyone available
-everyone apparently has lots of work .. go figure.

. order the banana fritters with ice cream at Mdm Kwan’s
-if only I can make my way there early enough so that I don’t have to queue…

-hitting-the-sofa-in-10-9-8-7-Zzzzzzz-L

Possible reasons why ..

.. I’m soooo “gas”sy today

1. Ate too much roti canai with fish curry at Raju’s
2. That damn cheese sandwich I ate for tea.
3. Fell asleep with mouth open, and may have inhaled then swallowed too much air..

Most likely reason ..

I AM carrying Homer’s child….

-airing-the room-L

Do you cry at the movies?

As I’ve mentioned in one of my earlier entries, I am a pretty sensitive gal – the kind that cries at weddings, sad movies, you get the drift. But, last night, was the first time EVER that I cried after seeing a man’s naked torso…

(hushed tones – in the movie theatre)

L & Entrepreunerina: OMGosh .. He’s gorgeous!!!*gasp*

OMG.. OMG.. OMG..

Subby Hubby: Shhhhh….

Entrepreunerina: He’s so beautiful, I’m actually crying..

L: me too…

*giggles*

On hindsight, I’m pregnant and hormonal… what’s her excuse???? Shedding tears over a well sculpted chest and abs .. What the hell? It was a comedy for goodness sake!

-la-la-L-

Knock, knock..

Who’s there?
L
L who?

This is exactly how I felt when my parents were in Dubai. They were all gooey-nice to Homer, thanking him for his time, taking them around Dubai and stuff… *sigh* Helloooo??? I was there too, I planned the whole itinerary for their trip, where’s the pats on MY back???

Okay I won’t dwell on that, let’s move on to the fact that I’m baaacckkkkkkk! Back in my very dusty apartment. Now, the question is, anybody has a number for a very good house cleaner?

-ah-choo-L

My dad, my boss.

My Dad cracks me up.

I know deep inside he loves me, after all I'm his only "little girl" but we were brought up the ol' skool way. You know, the old saying, " Sayang anak tangan-tangan kan, sayang isteri tinggal-tinggal kan". Growing up I was taught to fear him, when he says no, it really means NO. When I was little, he used to take me out for local football matches and the parks, this is back when I was the obedient little L. But then I started making friends, and grow up into a monsterina, the disciplinarian stepped in.

I hated that gut wrenching feeling when I thought that the whole world was against me, especially my dad. Then, when I was in boarding school, I realized that in his own way, he loved me. In the 5 years I was there, he never missed a weekend, he'd come in on Saturday (to pick up laundry, send food.. heheh) and again on Sunday (to drop off laundry and more food..). Even when the car broke down, he'd take the cab, even borrowed his friend's car. That's love.

He did the same thing for all of us.

Years passed, and I believe his brand of tough love worked out for us. But one thing never changed, his no nonsense, business like style of communicado. I received an email from him last night, and it made me laugh out loud.


From: Papa
Re: Request for brunch

L**, Papa heard from Mami that she cancelled your proposal to have Brunch at the Famous Hotel (Yacht ).Kindly make an arrangement so that we can have the Brunch or whatsoever at the Hotel. I told her that this is an opportunity not to be missed.
Regards.


On top of being his little girl, I am also his PA ..

-soon-to-be-tour-guide-L

7 days and counting..

When I get back to KL, I want to –

. eat jambu batu / jambu air with assam boi powder

. go to suzi’s corner and order Maggie goreng ("basah" with lots of cut cili api)

. meet up with my friends and goss my brains out

. hang out at Chinoz with Subby Hubby and bitch ..

. catch up with outlaws gossip with my biras, heheheh

. catch the latest family goss from Sing Sing Gal

. go for a facial

. get my mum to cook anything and everything..*drooollllss*

. round up the usual suspects and eat cakes at Alexis

. eat roti canai near Entrepreneurina’s office

. stock up on low heel shoes, watch out Vincci!

. have my hair restyled by Super Stylist

. stock up on dvd’s

. have the nasi lemak at Kg. Bharu with everything on!

. go for mani and pedi.. aahhh..

. go for long lunches with anyone available

. order the banana fritters with ice cream at Mdm Kwan’s

soon.. L.. soon..

-wiping-drool-L