Chronicles of..

Naiaraaaa

7.30 am - Wails then sinks mouth on boobies
8.30 am - Have face and bum-bum washed and cleaned by yours truly
8.45 am - Watch mumsy make a fool out of herself, trying to keep little NiMu entertained
9.15 am - Short walk with Ba-ba (the ever obliging Obaa-san, aka grandma)
9.30 am - Nap
11.00 am - Wails while having nappy changed
11.15 am - Yummy Boobies
12.00 pm - Nap
3 pm - Wailed
3.15 pm Nappy change and more yummy boobies
4 pm - Play time, with a limit of 6 minutes per activity..
4.45 pm - In the stroller
5.00 pm - I'm too tired entertain her.. where's her uncle and daddy????
5.30 pm - Just stick the boobies in.. maybe she'll fall asleep .. (yeahhhh rright)
6.00 pm - Bath time.. and peed all over my pants.. *sigh*
6.30 pm - Maybe some more milk.. Gosh .. cepat la tidooo
7.30 pm - Passed the baton over to Homer-dad
8.00 pm - wailed and pooped
8.30 pm - Sleep.. finally
11.00 pm - Wails while eyes still closed and nappy change
11.05 pm - Sinks mouth onto boobies
12.00 am - Sleep
3.30 am - More milk
4.30 am - More Sleep
7.30 am - ... And the cycle begins again

* Fussines, crying, wailing and pooping has been kept to a minimum in this report so as NOT to SCARE future parents.

-milked-out-L

I need to

- have my hair washed and blown by Keith
- desperately do my nails
- go lunching with my girlfriends
- buy something new... bags, shoes, clothes.. anything!
- get back in shape


Today is jual ikan - day... feeling a tad selfish today

Perhaps ordering in MacDonalds' will make it all go away.

-itching-to-be-out-and-about-L

Motherhoooodd

Things I’ve learned so farr..

- Having a C-section does not make you a 2nd class mother and don’t let anyone get you down on this. Try breastfeeding a squirming (and after a while.. crying..) baby while lying down on your side after 7 layers of your tummy has been cut open, then prodded pushed and pulled apart.

- Breastfeeding is PAINFUL. The baby shall now be called little NI-MU (NIpple MUtilatorrrr)

- Ni-Mu (formerly know as Bumpkin) looks so much like that baby in Ice Age.. just not as easy to entertain.. Does this mean I’m the Sloth cos Homer is definitely the Mammoth? ..heheh

- Walking with dignity is impossible the first couple of days .. and possibly for the rest of the week. Don't bother packing nice outfits for coming home.

- The 1st woman in the breastfeeding video looks a lot like Uma Thurman and the 2nd resembles Janet Jackson. This little information entertained me during the breastfeeding class… Should have paid more attention.. my poor breasts..

- Don’t bother looking at yourself in the mirror after giving birth. You’ll still look pregnant.. to be precise.. you look 5-6 months pregnant. Keep your focus on the miracle that has came out of it.

- The only thing that will cheer you up is getting the baby latch on to your boobies correctly and having her fill till she falls asleep. Having your hair professionally blown may come to a close second.. That’s my hunch at least, cos I never did get the chance to have it nicely blown..

..uh-oh, Ni-Mu beckons.. be still my nipples..

-mutilated-L

And baby makes three......

Our little bundle of Joy!!!

Say Hello to Baby Naiara!!





Wifey safely delivered a very healthy baby girl!

Born 23-11-2005 @ 1800 hrs.
Weight: 3.75 Kg
Length: 47.75 cm

Both Mummy and Baby doin fine. Daddy still recuperating....

Our little bumpkin is now our little eskimo girl... her mummy says she looks like the little baby in Ice Age.. heh...

-Homer says "and the fun begins...."-

Guess who's coming to dinner..

On our last check up, Bumpkin has grown heavier, right up to the doctor's cut off weight for normal delivery. And so after a LOOOONNNGGG discussion with a little bit of tears on my side, we are going to for a scheduled window opening (aka c-section). Had my last jalan-jalan and dinner last night before officially becoming parents.

Couldn't really sleep last night and kept staring at the crib next to me. *Gulp*, soon that space will be occupied (hopefully by Bumpkin and not her toys .. will try the hardest to be disciplined and let her sleep in the crib..)

So later in the afternoon, we'll be seeing our precious Bumpkin!

Praying for a swift procedure, small incision and most importantly, our baby's health.

-one-more-scar-for-the-tummy-L

Random thoughts..

While waiting to see the doc.

- The tummy makes for a fantastic hand rest.
- Tummy can also double up as cup holder.
- Must remove cup immediately when Bumpkin starts to move frantically, unless you don’t mind spilling water on the already stretched out t-shirt.

*update

Bumpkin has maintained her weight and she’s still floating around, i.e. the head is not engaged yet, so no baby yet, and there’s a great chance that I won’t go into labour till next week.

To conclude, I’ll still have my hand rest and “round” table to use as I please.

I am now a furniture.

-solid-L

Big baby and me

Over the weekend we caught the purple dinosaur show. Yes, we went to the Barney show, for the benefit of Bumpkin (or so I thought) .. but, in the end, it was more so for the big baby, i.e. Homer.

He was raving about Barney after the show, “I understand why the kids love him! (or is it her?).. Barney doesn’t insult the kids’ intelligence”, probably more like he doesn’t insult Homer’s intelligence. I can see it now, Bumpkin sitting in front of the TV watching Barney videos with Homer pretending that he is Barney.

On other news, we found out that Bumpkin’s estimated weight is 3.5 kg! Which means I have to brace myself for a C-section since the doctor believes that I am too small (short) to deliver Bumpkin normally if she keeps on packing the weight.

Any tips on keeping Bumpkin’s weight as it is?

-maybe-i-should-stop-eating-cakes-L

Sign number 6

that I’m losing it..

Super Lawyer Gal called me this morning asking for one of our girlfriends phone number. I frantically searched for my mobile, tossing the cushions on the sofa to the floor, while screaming, “Where’s my phone??? Can’t find my phone!!”.

Then it struck me, I was holding it against my ear!

-going-nuts-L

Yesss...

Yes..

Yes.. I am STILL pregnant and have overstuffed myself during raya. It’s a wonder how my belly can expand to accommodate Bumpkin (whom according to the weekly email updates, is packing on fat under her skin, gaining an ounce a day till D-day) and the lemang, lontong, nasi dagang, cookies and cakes that I’ve devoured.

Selamat Hari Raya !

Just remember that however full and overstuffed you feel, you can’t beat me.. paint me purple and I’d almost look like Barney!

-chomps-away-L

Milestone week..

I just came into my 35th week of pregnancy. Although my due date is 30th Nov, this time next week, i.e. at 36 weeks the baby is considered full term and therefore I can deliver anytime, and I am scared. I can no longer be the carefree L. It didn’t help that the Oprah show this morning was showing out of control kids.

Now I have to be “responsible L”, “disciplinarian L”, “mommy mode L”.

No more stupid questions like, “I find that I have to take a shower late in the evening before sleeping every night. Is that okay?”, to which my gynae smiled and said, “ .. erm, as opposed to showering once a month?”

Oookaayyy..

Let’s-stick-to-the-due-date-L

Crib-masterrrr....

I am Wonder Woman, sans the utility belt, cuffs, tiara and that gorgeous body.

Yesterday, I assembled the crib ALL BY MYSELF. Mind you, the crib did not come with any instructions, just the parts, bolts and screws.

Where’s Homer, you asked?

He has joined a cult.. I haven’t seen him since Saturday. Things will resume back to normal tomorrow when the money making course he’s attending finishes. This better be worth it ..

-Wonder-Woh-man-L

The gift

Last night, Mama Mido, Homer and I went to Super Lawyer Gal's place to collect some stuff that she's brought back from her London trip.

So today, Mama Mido will probably be parading around her new funky preggo outfits that we all ooh-ed and aah-ed over while I, am still recovering from Homer's antiques with my gift last night..

Homer may throw a fit seeing this entry, so first, I'd like to apologize and tell him that I STILL love him.. I received the gift last night and can't wait to see how it works, however I was warned by SLG that it is NOT a good idea to test it out when one has not delivered.

After reading the small pamphlet for the said item, I held it out and inspected the gift. And of course, I had this "itch" to give it a try. Afraid of SLG's warning I started testing it on my thunder thighs, and thought to myself, "hmm ...that's not too bad .. perhaps its because my gift is manual and not electric.." . By this time, curiosity got over Homer, who's been observing me and my new toy, and just like a big baby he took it away from me so he can play with it instead.

OOOOWWWWooowwoooOOOWWWooooooo

Curiosity killed the big cat.. or more precisely, his titties ...

-still-laughing-L

The First ..

Last night, I watched The First 50 dates for the fourth (or was it fifth?) time. I actually am NOT a big fan of Adam Sandler, but this movie is the only one that I could tolerate, in fact, loved.

I remember the first time seeing the film and asking Homer if he would make me fall for him everyday just like Henry from the movie would do for Lucy.

I may not have the Goldstein (or was it Goldfish) syndrom, but I know Homer keeps the fire burning in his own way. We all know it is hard work to keep it afloat, a little give and take goes a long way.

This morning, Homer gave his flu to me and took the new car to work. Aik? I thought the idea was that he gives and I take.. It must be the flu.. I really don't care!

Thanks, sweetie!

-recovering-L

Reality check.

I have been asked by my gynae to register for my pre-admissions, to get the paperwork of my impending labour done and out of the way. And I thought to myself, alright.. I don't want to be filling out forms as I come in screaming, huffing and puffing while my water breaking creating a puddle in the middle of the hospital's lobby.

So, as I was filling out my personal particulars on the second form, the receptionist pointed out that this particular form is for Bumpkin's registration, and that I should write "Mother" where the form asks for the relationship to person above.

MOTHER

Mah-ther

Me... a mother.

Who have been "housing" Bumpkin for the past 8 months? Me
Who will Bumpkin come out from? Me
Who will Bumpkin turn to when she's hungry? Me.

The above and many more; are reasons why I will officially become a mother.

MOTHER.

Am.I.ready?
God.help.me.I.am.so.scared.

That's quite a jump from being a preggo lady.

-pinching-myself-L

Glory.. glory!

Homer and I have been kindly invited to a birthday slash buka puasa soiree yesterday and came back with our own potted plants (plus a bonus of one of the fabulous table centerpieces). I’ve been told that the plant is called morning glory, and since I’m neither a gardener nor a plant-friendly person, I’ll take their word for it. And all these while, I thought Morning Glory is the English word for kangkung (all thanks to Coca’s Steamboat restaurant veggie menu)

Of course Homer now is so gung-ho about his plant and has made it his life mission to nourish, water and nurse his little potty morning glory like his own little offspring. He claims this is one way of honing his fatherhood skills.

This morning, I saw him going to our kitchen window, sprinkling water on those little purple flower buds… *awwwwwwww*

Someone better tell him that taking care of Bumpkin may take a gazillion times more effort than the plant… and that I think my morning glory is looking a little bit better than his..

-competitive-L

Ramadhan

No bonus points for guessing who's not fasting today.

I actually thought of giving it a go, but I only lasted till 9 am. Perhaps I shall refrain from gossiping. Hmm, but that went down the drain when Super Lawyer Gal called 30 minutes ago.

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan!

-can't-wait-to-buy-food-at-pasar-ramadhan-L

The Shower of Gossip

The intended baby shower for Bumpkin morphed into gossip shower.

It’s no myth, and I’m not going to deny myself one of the many pleasures of being a woh-man. We “update” each other with the latest occurrences of each other’s life and/or other people’s. Homer would’ve given his right arm to be a fly on that wall. He won’t admit it, but he luurrvveess GNN (Girl’s News Network).

From the grapevine, I gathered that the our generation's mid life crisis arrives early.

Hey, what's life if it comes without challenges, right?

Thanks to Mama Mido for orgy-nising the girls, and everyone who came. Loved all the gifts!

Am-so-not-ready-L

Tears for fears...

Being pregnant has its perks.

For example, we’re currently in the middle of renovating the 2nd bedroom, and yesterday, the carpenters came to sort out the built in cabinet and study table. I had to endure the drilling, dust and heat. By the end of the day, I was sticky, irritable and very unhappy with the height of the open shelves and the overall workmanship.

I was close to tears and was on the verge of screaming to the 3 unassuming guys, but instead, I yelled at Homer over the phone. I was afraid that the carpenters are part of some mafia association (cos’ they do look like they belong to one) and since their supervisor whom is my main contact was not there, I thought it’ll be safer for me if I channel my anger to someone who understands how crazy I can get.

I was restless the whole night, roller coaster of emotions (at Homer’s expense), and this morning as the contractors came in to finish their work, I can see their amusement as they see all the yellow post-its all over the work they did yesterday.

As I begin my lecture on how things should be done and how I expect it to look like… tears began to well up .. the next thing I know I was babbling to 3 (really typical Chinese contractor with spiky hair and all) stunned workers on how this was meant to be the happiest room in the house with bright shelves, and soft toys for Bumpkin! I was millimeters away from crying and sobbing like a baby in front of strangers.

*presto*

Everything will be re-done, realigned, replaced .. re-whatever as per instructions by “perempuan mengandung gila”

.. well, as long as it serves to meet the ends..

Perhaps it was just the near tears thing.. I should really take advantage of this.. hehehe…

-manipulative-L

She ain't heavy.. she's my mother!

Sometimes I feel like my mum’s mission of life is to make me feel bad about myself. You see, me and my mum has this intense relationship. We can be the chummiest of friends one minute, and the other we’d be at each other’s throats.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s always been there for me and God knows she makes us laugh with her classic antics. Like her famous Yoko Yoko incident, where she mistakenly used yoko yoko (muscle relaxer roll on ointment) on her underarms instead of her usual deodorant..

But when it comes to criticisms, she is my worst nightmare, especially when it comes to my weight. I know that I am not overly obese, but I did gain some weight after a few years of living on and off as an expat’s wife. And she LOVES egging me on how I need to exercise more, cut down on fatty foods.. yadda, yadda. It doesn’t help that she is paper thin and fits in my clothes that I wore during high school!

The thing is, she only does it to us.. her children. I mean Homer morphed from somewhat lean steak to full fat chunk of beef, and still get praises from my mum on how great he looks! WTF??

Today, I was close to tears when she said I would most likely keep almost 10 kilos after I give birth cos she can’t see me losing that much weight. I’ve only gained 7-8 kilos so far! Then comes the double chin exercise talk and how I have to start doing bicep curls since they’re looking a bit flabby.

I know.. I know.. she means well. Probably one of her mysterious way of saying, “You can lose the weight.. I know you can..” But it drives me nuts.

Note to self, go back to parent’s place ONLY when Homer is with you. At least, Homer will be there to calm your nerves.

-Big-L

Wax on, wax off..

Warning: Do not continue reading if you find bodily hair (in particular, the strip down there) talk offensive and/or distasteful.

The tummy has been growing at a tremendous rate that I didn’t even realize I can no longer see anything below the belly standing up. And so, being the ever vain-pot (more so now that I am preggios), I am in constant aspiration to make everything look good and pretty.

To my dismay, I found myself in a situation where I am unable to take care of myself “down there”. Imagine, without your sense of sight, would you trust yourself with a pair of scissors, maneuvering your way around the valley-of-loooveee?? Even tried using the mirror, but for f*#k’s sake, my hand-eye coordination have been somewhat lacking, especially coming up to my 8th month of pregnancy!

And so, I resorted to calling Homer, who was watching TV. His reaction : Rolling on the floor laughing like a hyena …

Hmmph, I guess I just have to steel myself up, grit my teeth and go for that waxing saloon as suggested by Mama-Mido (formerly known as Brave-Lawyer-Gal).

-beauty-is-pain-L