And how was your weekend?

Apart from the faulty sound system, the concert was GGRREEEAAATTT. They just bring back old memories when life was less complicated.. And the whole trip up to Genting was like a walk down memory lane. I'm talking about walking through the foggy wet and (surprisingly!) chilly weather, it's like I'm transported back to the good ol' days at uni, walking through Vicky Park getting to yet another lecture on European Political History.

What a weekend!

And then came Monday.. blearghhhh! Talk about killjoy.

My ever fickle client drove me nuts asking me why a certain shipment has not arrived and wanted me to do something about it. I am not the Custom's General's crony, nor do I know anybody in KLIA customs. And after having a big bru-ha-ha with one Fedex officer, my client told me that they've decided to just wait for the shipment arrive the next day! What the f*#k??!!?

I've always been very accomodating to them .. why do they have to harrass me like this?

On the homefront, Ni-Mu has learned a new word.. "go.." . She would reach for my bag, loop it through her arms (ala datin), walk to the door, and say, "..go! ...go!". As in, "let's go!". So now, I have included in her daily schedule, a short walk to the pool and back. Which translates to more frizz to my hair. I know.. I know.. I'm way too obsessed with my hair..

All I can say is, unless you've walked a mile in my shoes (or don my hairstyle), you'll never know how overwhelming all this can be. Homer always say I complain way too much, but for me it's not complaining.. it's telling people how I feel and maybe, just maybe, I'd get some compassion. I know my situation is nothing compared to those who have lost their homes in the recent floods..

but I'm just saying.. I am here, and I am talking to you... Indulge me a little.. We all go through phases.

-the-frizz-phase-L

Up, up and awaaayyyy

I'm making a trip up to Genting tomorrow.. (or more fondly known to my fellow Singaporeans as "J"enting). Gambling with this old girl's ability to lip sync with Boyz II Men, pretending I can still remember the words to their songs. Wooohooooooooooo..

I know to some of you think it's just a lame old group.. but this band of men, was THERE for me.. And as much as I hate to admit it.. when I'm feeling sad and any of their songs comes up, tears can just roll.. Yes, I'm sappy and can cry my heart out. Sue me. I dare ya.

I love you you Durs, for thinking of me when you had that spare ticket.. and I love you Elaine, for loving your sister in law!

-i-like-men-L

Yezzaa?

As I took a breather by our drying area, I heard a resounding, "YES! YES!". Myyyy... someone's doing it right, I thought .. Then I heard some illegible gurgles.. and more loud YESses.. hehe .. and to think I thought our apartment block is filled with unadventurous people..

****

Babies have an innate ability to press the remote control. The TV volume was at its loudest, in fact it said 100! For those who has never had the opportunity to watch PHDC (that's Playhouse Disney Channel), you should know that there's a lot YESses on the program.. I suppose it's meant to instill positive reinforcement..

****

Well, at least our neighbours would think that we are adventurous and making out like rabbits..

-boink-boink-L

Dr. House in the house!

Why does everyone look so great at the Golden Globes?
Because they get complimentary colonic irrigation prior to the event.

Okay, I'm just assuming the above, only because my hero, Hugh Laurie mentioned it in his acceptance speech. I don't know why, but I'm just drawn to English humour. Witty, intelligent and just brilliant! (Gosh, as I'm writing this, I'm even thinking with an English accent .. melampau or what?)

I'm loving House so much right now that I wouldn't mind him breaking down my multi layered personality and hear his interpretations of my cluttered life.

.. so is there anywhere for me to get this colonic irrigation that everyone's talking about? .. and HOW does this thing actually work? does the pipe goes to where I think it goes?

-people-in-hollywood-are-scary-and-never-have-fat-bulges-L

Holy Pants!

Still in the mood of ushering in the new year, I've decided to cleanse anything and everything my capricious mind decides to focus on at that particular moment. Being born in to the sign of Gemini .. (yes, the twin thing) I have to admit I have a rather disturbing dual.. even multiple personalities. With that said, if anything does happen to Homer, I blame it on one of my "darker" personality.

And so last night, I decided to venture into one of the many drawers in our wardrobe. It is aptly called "BIG SCARY UNDIES" .. these truly are big scary undies.. brings a whole new understanding on the word "underPANTS", they are so big, they are in fact .. PANTS! It doesn't stop at just the size of the garments.. the horror of its colour is just enough to send yours truly to fashion house of shame. You know what I mean.. pale blue, pale peach (yuck!) .. I'm even too embarassed and a little bit nauseous to continue..

But in my defense, those were bought in the period of el-preggo, and post partum.. where I was taken hostage by the abominable snowqueen, and ordered Homer to go to Carrefoure and get "cheap-big-ass-cotton-underwear-so-I-can-just-throw-them-out!". A year on, there I was thinking to myself.. I actually fit in those???

And so while I threw them into a trash bag, I felt a sense of relief.. my underPANTS are gone.. Then I heard someone groaning in frustration.. none other than my little pitter-patter Ni-Mu..

Great! In my fervor of getting rid of big scary underpants, one had managed to find its way on to her hands. Her head has gone through one of the leg openings of big-ass-undies, she was screaming her head off and was determined to take it out herself. I don't blame her, blue is definitely not her colour.

I should really start baby-proofing the apartment.

-shopping-for-undies-L

Curly-wurly-fuzzy-woozie..

Curly locks looks amazing on my avatar picture but somehow did not have the same effect on the real me.. I know.. it IS a computer animation representation of one self.. I mean, where else can you see me with a smoking-hot-cellulite & stretch-mark-free smoking body in bloody lime green bikini?

I am seriously having second (third, fourth, fifth, sixth, gazzillion-th) thoughts on my new 'do. Argh! Where's frizz-ease when you need one?

-frizzer-L

Just another day..

As I write this entry, I have that damn Jon Secada's song in my head.. you know.. that dang "lentok" song. But this entry has nothing to do with with the song.. It had everything to do with how we marked the new year.

Last year, I remembered being very tired and vaguely hearing the booms of the fireworks while I trying to sleep, and hoping that Ni-Mu won't wake up. 2006, what a year.. vivid moments, some good, some bad and some really ugly. And now it has packed itself and made way for the new year. 2007 is here, I have big plans... but just as the year started.. I'm feeling so exhausted.. I ushered the new year fighting my sleep.. just like any other day.. how can I carry on my big plans feeling so lethargic with life?

So what did I do? Like any other girls.. I went to see my stylist, having a specific look for 2007 (layered bob, loose the highlights and options for a darker look).. I came out with the ultimate messy poodle look. I'm still getting used to the new me.. sometimes I love it.. sometimes I hate it. Change can be difficult.. but with so many things changing all around me, I'll be taking it in my stride..

Viva la rocker chick hair... Viva la 2007... Viva L!

-2007-L

PS is da bomb!

Did you all know that you can find really nice dresses at Petaling street? My God .. beyond the tackiness of some of the stuff they display on the outer side of the clothes shop, you can actually find some real gems inside. Forget Zara, Mango, Forever 21 (okay.. you might still see wandering in these shops..) or BCBG (although they do fit me like a glove..).. The stuff in PS is crazy cheap!

I've been on a buying spree.. and with my impending Bandung trip (business, this time) .. I'm a little bit concerned. But hey, I can't help it if my wardrobe needs a little updating. Perhaps I should just concentrate on spa-i-fying myself..

If you don't hear from me before the coming new year, you can safely assume that I am meticulously sorting out my credit card bills.

Hoping for a banging 2007!

-shopaholic-L

Wonder if anyone has done this..

I don't think I've heard of reviewing a restaurant based on its child friendliness policy, but I guess since I've already thought about it, I might as well write a lil' something .. for all the parents out there.

If you ever have to take out your young child out alone for either lunch or dinner, you know what I mean when I say, it's gotta be childproof, willing to take "tweaked" orders, child seat and most importantly, staff who will not frown when they see your kids throwing stuff down on to their squeaky clean floors.

With that said - dinner last night was great because .. not only did this restaurant have everything mentioned above.. the staff even played with Ni-Mu.. and to my utter joy.. asked whether they can take her off my hands while I finish my lovely sizzling tofu dinner in peace!

Cozy House Great Eastern Mall ROCKS!!

You may want to go there when there's less people around (long queue is inevitable during peak hours), so go for either early/late lunch/dinner..

..*bl**dy h*ll*.. In the short time I wrote this, Ni-Mu has managed to reach for the aqueous cream tub and plastered it all over her body (again!).. arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

-clean-up-on-bedroom-2-L

Time heals all wounds

Last night, I caught up with Subby Hubs at Suzi's. It's been ages since I was last there. It has changed somewhat.. no one looked familiar.. except for the Western food ladies. I was so looking forward to their maggie goreng, but alas, it was just too dry..

And then I saw him. The guy who broke my heart, years ago. He looked good, clean .. sober. And the funniest thing is, the pain is no longer there. I actually had to really think hard what happened between us, and even when I did recall the things he put me through.. I felt .. nothing.. no heartache, no anger..

So Subby Hubs and I started to talk about how we do tend to forget certain things and move on with our lives, and when something awakens the memory of long lost stories.. we're reminded of how much we've grown since then and .. how it changes your perspective in life.

He was just a table away, I know he's looking at me but whenever I tried to lock eyes with him, he'll look away. I just wanted him to look into my eyes and see who I've become. This is one person, whether I like to admit it or not, shaped me to who I am today.

-I-need-more-time-L

I am 17, going on 18..

Today will forever be remembered as the day I turn 17 again..

I decided to take little Ni-Mu out to Carrefour to get some stuff. Because she's having a slight fever, and I am recovering from a cold, it had to be a short trip, so I just went out with my jeans, black tank top and I slipped on a pair of pink flip-flops. No make up

Decided to get an ice cream cone after I was done, so I was just hanging around in front of F.O.S while finishing my ice cream, Ni-Mu conveniently sleeps in her stroller. A group of young malay boys came and started to make conversation with me..

"ooi. kaklong makan ice cream sorang jer? tak share ngan adik langsung.. tak baikk.."

erk?

"lepas ni buat aper? tinggal kat mana? mlm ni kalu tak buat aper, jom la join kitorang kat NZ"

waaaa...

I just smiled and said, " erm.. tak boley la.. kena jaga adik.. "

"alaaa... mlm pun kena jaga adik ke?"

ha..ah...

"you sekolah mana? "

asrama..I replied

"oo budak pandai.."

no-laaa

"oii.. cakap omputehhhh.. mesti english dapat A1 nih.."

I just couldn't believe it! I'm being chatted up by young "kutoids" as I would call it, back in the days. And actually "layan".

"aikk.. habis ice cream terus nak blah? takut mak marah ke?"

ha-ah..

I just didn't have the heart to tell them that the "adik" they're referring to is my baby girl, and the supposed "girl" they were chatting up, has stretch marks all over her stomach and upper thighs!

Have I discovered the fountain of youth? I have been gulping down Tylenol cold syrup this past few days.. or could it be due to my short stint of SKII facial cleansing regime? Whatever it was.. It's great to know that I can still pass off as a schoolgirl..

-nama-saya-L

Waga-mama

My boss was here about 2 months ago for a short meeting and this was the first time we caught up with each other since I gave birth. We went for a Japanese dinner, since we both love to stuff ourselves silly with sashimis and not pay for them.

As we're waiting for our orders to come in, he looked at me and said,"You look HOT L! Waga-mama..!". I gave him a puzzled look, and he continued on saying, "aww, come on.. wakaii-mama.. you know what I mean, are you half-Jap or what?" ..

ahhh.. Wakaii-mama, literally translates to young-mama.. so I assume, he was trying to say I'm a hot -mama la..

I never gave it much thought 'cos this boss of mine loves to tease people (sometimes inappropriately.. I was once told that he has been sued for sexual harrassment once..). And not that I've noticed head turning whenever I pass by a group of guys.

But today, I felt like a waga-mama, it could be slimming effects of my pencil pants or it could be the fact I was not lugging my stuff-everything-I-can-bag, but a teenie shoulder bag. I definitely turned a few heads.. (maybe they're gay, and were just checking my outfit.. but still heads turned!).

Made me feel good..

Then I went downstairs and saw that Guardian was having discounts on Mamy Poko diapers.. Oooh.. must buy, I thought to myself (funny how our "must buy" list changes from that hot lip stain from Bobbii Brown to super dry diapers..).

And there I was, strutting to the carpark, and somehow turned into a non-head turner. It was the diapers.. Why is it that when we see a woman carrying a diaper she's just a mom, and if we see a guy carrying them we think .. aww .. great dad. I wonder what guys think when they see me carrying diapers?

Is it just me or have I actually blogged about this?Am I having a strange case of deja-vu?

God.. I'm waga-mama and losing it. Hurrah for the weekend!

-cough-cough-L

No more hoping..

People keep saying that, "In life, nothing is certain." Forrest Gump said, " Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." And quoting that famous phrase from Heidi Klum's Project Runway - One day you're in, the next, you're out.

So what's new? Nothing surprises me anymore. Men and women behaving badly, husbands cheating, wives lying, backstabbing friends, colleagues pulling you down, parents ignoring their children, children snubbing their parents. It makes you wonder why life can be so cruel.

But then you hear of wonderful things like, "Adam has cut his first tooth!", "I've been promoted" or "Mmuah mama..".

A few nights ago, while watching Oprah (don't roll your eyes.. she's only the best girlfriend ever..), something struck me. We always hear people saying, "I hope...." or "We hope.." but the guy who was interviewed said something profound, "HOPE is not a PLAN". And he's right, hope is not a plan. It may sound harsh, but the reality is; we all should be thinking what we are going to do about it rather than hoping it'll get better.

So for today, since I'm feeling lousy, I'm not going to hope I'll feel better. I plan to go out and get something from the BCBG sale.

-retail-therapist-L

Someone once said..

You can't please everyone. There will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision that you make. So stop beating yourself up whenever you hear anything bad about yourself. Get over it! Life is not a competition, the object is to live it to the fullest. If you've made a mistake, learn from it and never put yourself in that situation ever again.

That someone was me. At the age of 16, I was trying to make sense to a good friend in a time of her need.

I've always been a good listener, a source of kind words when people are down, a shoulder to cry on , someone to go to for a good conversation. I should really try a career in counseling.

Which brings us to a certain someone whom I chance to meet yesterday. Let's call him Mr. Mystery. He's in trouble; caught red handed doing something he promised he won't do to his wife. As it is, he has broken a lot of promises, and admitted that he's hurt his wife greatly with his "stupidity". His wife is furious, and is coming close to calling it quits. He, on the other hand is really sorry and doesn't believe that it's the end of the road for them. "It can't be.." he said remoursefully, "I love her.. She is my rock.. she's everything".

This is what I told him.

"You have to take responsibility for all your wrongdoings. And make sure she knows you're making the effort. If you still love her, tell her.. show her.. never for one second make her think otherwise. Even when she pushes you away, stay close. Make it known that you still want her. You have already admitted your mistake. Ask for forgiveness, go up to her and convince her that you're worth her time.."

"But, she's always so angry.."

"She has all the right to be angry, you said you want her.. need her.. that means taking her with all that she's got.. angry or not.. This is the person you cannot live without, right?"

"..yes"

"Then. why hesitate? Why give her time to think otherwise?"

".. I don't want to be in her face"

"Like it or not, you're already in her face with all your mistakes.. "

"I don't know what to say.. or do.. "

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself.. stop feeling anything for yourself, if you want her back.. Everything is about her now.."

"I don't think she'll feel differently.."

"Have you tried? Have you taken her out? Have you had a heart to heart talk? Have you told her how miserable you are that you broke her heart? Sacrificed anything for her? Spun a fairytale romance? Share her pain? Flowers? Gifts? Take some time off, spend it with her, pamper her, make it known you'd go all out for her? How can you say you don't think it will change anything if you haven't tried..? It's not like she's gone out to find a divorce lawyer.. Why think of defeat before even entering the battle?"

"She looks so hurt.."

"All the more reason for you to treat her wounds... Look, she didn't throw you out of the house, there's a good chance you can win her back. But before that, let me ask you.. Do you really love her, did you mean it when you said she's you're everything.."

"...."

"You've got to know what you're fighting for.. If your heart and soul believes in the cause, the battle is worthwhile, and if you win this battle, you will forever remember the route you took to win her back.. and hopefully remind you how much you'd go through for her. Remember, she's had to go through a pain that you could only imagine.. So don't question yourself if you have to stand up to a little prick here and there..."

"..."

"You think you can do that?"

".. Yes, but she keeps bringing it up.. "

"So? Keep on telling her how sorry you are.. and if you don't want to apologize anymore, tell her you're doing everything you can .. really tell her what you've been doing to make it easier for her.."

"I don't know.."

"Look, Mr. Mystery, it's up to you.. you wanted a woman's perspective.. I'm giving you one. At times like this, any woman just wants to be assured that you're worthy of her. And if you say you can't live without her, then you show it to her. No one said it's going to be easy.. You've hurt her.. Stop thinking that just because you've apologized and admitted to your mistakes, you're off the hook. In fact, you're never off the hook. People consistently work on their relationship.. In your case, you've got to work harder."

".."

"Make it work, Mystery-man.. You can't let someone like her slip away."

Any other advise for Mr. Mystery?

-should-start-a-dear-L-column

My girl..

It's hard to believe that a year ago, she entered the world, and now she's playing with bubbles.. She's achieved so much.. my heart could just burst. As each day passes, she'll learn new tricks and true to her nature she spreads joy to everything and everyone she touches. At a very young age she has even shown that she could learn from her mistakes and became aware of the dangers surrounding her.

In many ways, she's like her mother; vivacious personality, headstrong, determined and undeniably perceptive.

We had a party for her yesterday and she played the part of host to perfection.

I'm proud of you, baby. And thank you so much for all your smile, hugs and kisses.

-mumsy-L

What's new pussycat?

Nothing much really..

.. although, I did get a new phone .. yes, I'm now in the know. Hooked myself up with a 3G phone and therefore consider myself officially "hip and happening". My first video conversation was with 3 ah-bengs whom are obviously friends with the guy I bought the phone from.

.. my second video conversation was with Sing-Sing gal, while having lunch .. with each other! Yes, we are that dense. Irregardless, I'm sure the waiters still thought we were "cute".

-i-can-see-youuu-L

I am guilty..

I am guilty of the following -

1. Saying "I love you" to a complete stranger, one carefree night where I was privy to wearing a US$100,000 necklace in my plunging black dress...

2. Alowing myself to be immersed replying work mails, while little Ni-Mu emptied a whole tub of aqueous cream all over her face and body. Her skin is going to be sooooo soft for the next week or so..

3. Not keeping track of our Astro bills which led to the service being cut off and us watching regular TV.. which led to me being hooked on bloody Bawang Putih, Bawang Merah.

4. Being too lazy to update this blog, eventhough gazillion-jillion things has happened. Hmm, perhaps blogging is becoming a little bit (needlessly) complicated.

.. And many more since my last entry.. what can I say, I've been a naughty-yummy-mummy. So in the light of the joyous month of Syawal.. I'd like to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya (..yes, guilty of not wishing all of you too..) and obviously being guilt-ridden.. Maaf Zahir Batin.

-acquitted-nevertheless-L

Misty eyed..

And so the haze is back with a vengeance. It's so bad, that I can't even see the infamous "Savannah" construction, which is just a few kilometres away. For once I can imagine that I'm living on top of some mountain, surrounded by rolls of mist..

On a more happy note, we celebrated Mrs Bono's birthday over the weekend and stuffed ourselves silly. It was wonderful to see Mr. Bono happily snapping pictures of guests coming in.. kissy-kissy on the cheeks with the birthday girl.. and still clicking away during the dinner .. and maneuvering himself around the house as she opened up her prezzies, getting the best angles.

Isn't it wonderful to know that at least you're a supermodel to someone...

-misty-hazy-L

Soulmate..

I came across this while clicking the time away yesterday and the entry got me to thinking about it. Deep inside all of us want to believe in the concept of soulmate. I once heard a very interesting remark on this - "I don't believe in soulmates but I believe that once you've found that special someone, you work hard to make the relationship work. And vice-versa." Even a non believer believes in the notion that we all eventually will find that other person that essentially can complete you.

Remember that line from Jerry Maguire?

You complete me.

Can there be any other 3 words that so succinctly describe someone's gratitude in making themselves whole?

I'm not saying that all of you singles out there are running around half complete. I've been there.. And I truly believed I was complete (complete neurotic and complicated person..), but the search was on.. and it doesn't necessarily mean that we're always in search for the sensational person who can treat you like the goddess that you are. The search was on to find things, activities that'll make you feel complete, even just for that split second.

With that said, I'm not saying that it's okay for those who has supposedly found their other half to go out and search for things that'll complete you further.. Because in this case, you should be searching for something that will complete the both of you, like that diamond ring or the latest offerings in the golf setion. As long as it does not affect the precarious balance which you've been working so hard for.

And so, do I believe in soulmates? ..I do, the foolish romantic that I am.. but I also know we all live in the real world, where romance is but a lilliputian island surrounded by harsh waters.

But still, I have found mine.. there I've said it.. Would he say the same?

-soulful-L

To the left.. to the left..

When I was single, my aim was to lead a strong, confident, fulfilling and independent life. I made it a point to be mobile (i.e, have a car) and buy my own place in anticipation of leading a somewhat "Bridget Jones-ish" lifestyle.

I could actually see myself singing "All By Myself" on New Year's eve and eating tubs of ice cream while watching dvd's. And how I vowed to migrate by the age of 32 if there's nothing left for me here to explore.

Well I'm 32 now, and if you ask me whether anything has changed since my archetypal singleton dream... all I can say is .. Not really.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, nothing can beat having little Ni-Mu around. In fact, I now foresee us singing a duet "Just the two of us" instead of "All by myself" .. (okay .. maybe more along the line of Barney songs..). And then of course, there's Homer. God bless him, but I can't fight the feeling that we girls must always watch our own backs.

The saddest thing is, in as much as some girls work so hard in getting their lives together.. there'll always be some other people that deliberately shuts them down. Society tries to make women believe we are nothing without our traditional support system. And it makes me angry.

I was talking with an old friend last week and she was just getting over a relationship. It pains me to hear that even after going through a harsh break up in a manner that I don't even wish for my enemies, someone told her that perhaps she could have behaved differently (read: forgiving) she would still BE in a relationship.

The point is, she did not want that kind of relationship. She was like me, and I knew she was already slipping so far away from her old self. She's on her final stage of her break up. And so we celebrated by singing to Beyonce's latest "Irreplaceable.." (or at least we tried..)

-irreplaceable-L