Alright, so I am married to Homer for 3 years now, plus a year of “courting”.. a total of 4 years now I have been exposed to Homer“isms”. Give and take 2 years of long distance relationship (before and after the wedding), I’d say he has completely let down his guards when he’s around me, or as he puts it, showing the “real” Homer. Although you can never really be too sure when it comes to guys (or girls for that matter), anything can happen, right????
I’ve seen him doing the most stupid things, like showing off his “muscles” (more like jiggling his wobbly one-pack-belly) in front of the mirror and then turn to me and say, “ you want this???” in the most perverted way you can imagine (this happens on a regular basis), to suddenly breaking into some dance moves (he ain’t no Travolta) while getting some drinks from the fridge (in his underwear, mind you, and STILL on a regular basis).
At times he would talk to himself about how good he looked (or so he thinks) that day and how well he handles a certain situation. He gets this intense expression on his face whenever he plays the Xbox (which finally came after nearly 10 months in Iranian packing company limbo), and cursing the characters that didn’t die even though he had pressed the green button a zillion times. I’m still waiting for his drool to come out during these tense moments…
The other day I had the chance to see him proffesionally in one of his work presentations (saw the clip from his laptop.. ha-ha! Don’t ever think that this little missus can’t access your computer!) . I can see how he can be a pain. During Q & A, he kept saying, “ee-zactly.. ee-zactly..” whenever he meant yes and interjected “UN-derstood.. UN-derstood..” after each question. Haiyoh!
Sometimes I wonder if we’re really ready for the next challenge.. Well, at least we have the best of each other to work with, and that can’t be bad.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Posted by Hyphenated L at 8:49 PM
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I’m back in Dubai, right smack when the weather gets really warm and humid. That’s the reason why you all back in KL see an influx of the Arabs, they’re running away from the hot and sticky weather! Today, it’s supposed to be 41 degrees centigrade with 85% humidity. Imagine being in a very badly ventilated basement car park, double the heat… That’s exactly how I feel every time we leave the house.
And guess what? It is ONLY the beginning of summer…
On the upside, the Dubai Summer Surprise is here! Shopping report coming up as soon as I can brave the weather. Anyone for some tanning and sauna????
Posted by Hyphenated L at 2:34 PM
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Yesterday we hit the 3 year mark, yes, 3 years ago Homer confidently pronounced, “Aku terima nikah … yada, yada .. lapan puluh ringgit, tunai.” .
I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already. It just feels like yesterday, I saw him grinning ear to ear after saying the nikah vows at one go, hence sealing his membership of “The One Shot Club” (lame ain’t it??).
We celebrated with California Pizza Kitchen take away on our funky plates, illuminated by 2 candles. I had my comfortable shorts and tank top on while Homer had the same thing on…. haha.. he wore his t-shirt actually. Him wearing the tank top would have spoiled dinner..
We adjourned 3 steps away from the dining area into our living room and spent the night watching CSI Las Vegas and channel V.
And guess what? I did not hang my head over the toilet bowl last night.
Bliss. Happiness is knowing you can be on cloud nine with minimal effort.
Posted by Hyphenated L at 6:03 PM
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
In any pregnancy literature, you will definitely come across references on cravings or yearning for certain types of food. Like pickles and ice cream (?) for the mat sallehs and jeruks and assam boi for us locals.
With all the hormonal changes that is wreaking havoc through the system, pregnant woman often craves (or even aversion) for certain types of food, have heightened sense of smell, acute awareness of (ahem!) female instinct .. yada, yada.
But what they failed to highlight (at least in my case) is that I have this strong itch to smack my hands across Homer’s face. Yes! One of those Alexis-tight slapping action that will throw Homer off his balance.
I know it’s wrong to hurt anyone, but that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my craving for the past few weeks. We have discussed this “topic” many times, much to Homer’s alarm. Being the supportive hubby he is, he always said that I can take it out on him… And I’d sometimes plant my hands on his cheeks, NEVER full force though cos’ he screams like a girl whenever I raise my hands.
Last night, while watching a movie that featured infidelity, I just couldn’t control myself (remember, I AM emotionally charged). With Homer’s guard completely down, I gave him a sharp kick and pinched him like I never did before, with a couple of slaps here and there. His expression changed from shocked, bewildered and finally comical. What did he do after my mini rage burst?
Chuckling and giggling… “Puas? Happy?”, He asked.
Perhaps I should enroll myself in anger management class.
Posted by Hyphenated L at 9:41 AM
Friday, June 17, 2005
Working from home gives me the opportunity of being in my jammies, watch TV and read my mails, all at the same time. Excellent! Cue air guitar action ala Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
I’m watching Discovery channel as I write this, the Science of Star Wars – how the Jedi’s way are similar to the disciples of the Shaolin temple. A scene caught my attention, I realized that the Shaolin monks “poses” as they run out of the temple. You know what I mean.. “eagle-ish” and “ultraman” hand movements as they jump out of the entrance into the temple’s courtyard.
Stylish and intimidating at the same time, I have to say.
Why don’t we start doing it? Every time we leave the house, strike a pose. I dared Homer to start.
I take it back, we should NEVER strike pose.. or at least Homer and I should NEVER do it. If you resemble a 6 foot grizzly bear or 16 weeks pregnant, shaolin poses is NOT the look you want to go for.
note: Homer humored me with an ultraman pose as he went down to take something from the car… *wiping tears*.. reason #683 why I married this guy.
Posted by Hyphenated L at 11:17 AM
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
For the past two months, every night, without fail, I will find my head hanging over the toilet bowl. Staring down on the muck of pottage, I’m beginning to wonder when my (evening) sickness will stop.. It’s tough, and my face resembles the color of a cooked lobster afterwards.
Being the drama queen that I am, the thought of suffering from an eating disorder have crossed my mind.. I mean, barfing out everything you ate each and every night is unnatural, especially when they’re really good food. But after browsing through the latest Us Weekly, and seeing pictures of Nicole Ritchie and Lindsay Lohan, I have come up with the conclusion that - I am NOT “suffering” from anorexia or any other form of eating disorder.
You’ll understand if you can just see how I am now. I look nothing like them. (Haha! What was I thinking??)
And so, I just have to accept that I may suffer from my morning sickness throughout the pregnancy. On a more pleasant note, I think I’m beginning to embrace my tiny bump. In fact, Homer and I have been comparing the size of our tummies. Homer, of course, is still the clear winner.
Posted by Hyphenated L at 10:50 PM
Friday, June 10, 2005
I love jumping on and scaring the bejeezus out of Homer. This morning, I had the perfect opportunity. He was about to finish his shower, so I decided to wait quietly next to the bathroom door, ready to pounce on him as he gets out.
I fluffed some pillows and hid it under the covers, hence creating the illusion that I was still asleep. Tip toed across the room and waited by the door. I was waiting for a quite a while… (Homer is one those guys that takes longer than girls to get ready) ..
Then I realized that he could see my reflection on the mirrors that lines up against the adjacent wall! Damn those mirrors.. I crouched down, hoping that the bed’s reflection can cover mine. So, there I was, a-la crouching tiger, hidden dragon, waiting for Homer to open the door.
He opened the door, calling me to wake up. I can tell that he’s putting gel on his hair.. well, it’s either that or he was admiring his own reflection.. creepy, I know… A few minutes passed, finally, he stepped out of the bathroom, calling for me.. Uhh, he still hasn’t seen me crouching down next to him..
I reached out my hands…
HWAARGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! What the f*#k are you doing????, he roared.
Me, rolling on the floor… Trust me, he was completely white, nothing funnier than seeing my Homer jumping out of his skin..
Picture this - I was wearing black tank top and black shorts, my long (and nicely blown from my salon trip yesterday) hair let down, on the floor with my arms arms outstretched to him… a scene right out of a Japanese scary movie… Muahahaha.. I am BAD.
The best thing is this – I can do it to him, but he can’t do it to me. This is my screwed up definition of marriage… MUAHAHA! *evil laugh continues*
Posted by Hyphenated L at 11:26 AM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Yes it is.
Woke up this morning to the sound of traffic instead of waves. A clear and sure sign that the vacation is indeed over. KK was fantastic, the mountains, the beaches .. and the wedding was beautiful. To Mr. and Missus Shellman, congratulations and get ready for a fantastic ride!
Yes it is.
I am officially over the age of 30. So far so good. I suppose when you’ve already hit the big 3-0 mark, you don’t really care about the number that comes after it. So really, turning 31 is not so bad. After all. I did get to blow my candles twice, once at KK and another one in KL.. celebrations in 2 cities.. beat that!
The best thing was, the polaroid picture of me blowing the candle looks GGOOOD.. I still got it!!
Posted by Hyphenated L at 11:04 AM
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Being married to Homer is beginning to pay off. We have an AMAZING suite! Huge balcony, which will easily accomodate a party for 20..not that we're gonna have one. Bathroom fit for the King and Queen (of course..). Living and dining area, mini office with FREE high speed connection, outside dining area facing the beach... aaahhh...THIS is the life ..
All thanks to Homer's long stay in Shangri La Dubai, he gets free upgrades!! Moral of the story is - it pays to be loyal.
Gotta go, Homer's running the bath... I hope he puts in the nice bath salts.
Posted by Hyphenated L at 3:37 PM