Monday, March 27, 2006

Is it really today?

All around me, people are embarking on a new journey; Mama and Papa Mido is preparing the arrival of Baby Chin, Super Lawyer Gal is moving on up, Subby Hubby finally gets a job which is in line of his study, K-devi has gone on a self discovery trip, Sing Sing Gal struggles with her own personal conflicts, Homer discovers the joys of being his real self in his home coutry, even little NiMu has learned a few tricks showing her nature as each day goes by.

Me?.. yes, moi ..

I feel different today, I just realized that in the past months I have changed. Perhaps its the sudden workload, perhaps its the emotional turmoil within me and from all the people around me, losing myself and re-discovering it all again with my little NiMu. As I write this, I wonder if I'm making any sense, I wish to find my pillar of strength but I don't know how to. And so, I look at the people around me ..

Well, sign me up on a trip .. I want to journey on..

On! On!

To Mama an Papa Mido, the baby will rock the boat, but you guys will do great! We'll be seeing you sailing through.. Can't wait, NiMu will have someone to bully ;)


Thursday, March 23, 2006

o' la la

It's funny how eventhough I've never met any of the wonderful people reading the blog, I kind of feel close to them. Yes, I'm talking about you.. You all know the highlights (even lowlights.. ) of my life and all the needlessly complicated things I go through.

Well, that's what life is all about ain't it? Being around family, friends, blog-friends, yadda-yadda. Sometimes I wonder what else is out there, and then I'm reminded that life is a series of challenge.

And what's the challenge for today?

1. Fitting into my old pants.
2. Resisting buying clothes from British India.
3. Getting my client to confirm a huge order.
4. Be a good girl. (Cos have been feeling naughty all week)


Wednesday, March 15, 2006

An open letter part 2

For those who has expressed concern over my open letter,

It's true, I can no longer trust as easily as I could before. I thank you for the kind words, and I am happy to be surrounded by people who cares so much for me. But it's not what people think it is, the letter masks a series of events around my life and those only those in the know, truly comprehend the situation.

I'm just happy that you all cared.


Monday, March 13, 2006

An open letter

To whom it may concern;

Trust is a fragile entity. Remember the story of "the boy who cried wolf?". The trust has been broken and no one believed him when the wolf really did appear - he lost his sheeps, and it wasn't funny at all.

If people trusted you with their life, it's truly an honor; only a privileged few gets this type of validation. "I trust you" can sometimes be stronger than "I love you" And in that few seconds of judgement lapse, it is gone, broken, leaving the other person at loss for words.

I trusted you. Past tense.


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Gimme a break..

It's been 3 months and a bit since I joined the exclusive club of mama-hood, where the joining fees can be on the high side. I'm talking about ..

Weight gain..

yeah..yeah there are some of you who could just lose it all, like 2 hours after the delivery, but in general, it'll be months.. even years to get back into your pre-pregnancy clothes. (Let's not even talk about pre-wedding clothes, just pack them up and send them out to those who really needs it).

And whether you're sweating it out or wrapping yourself up in one of those fancy schmancy slimming centres, let's face it, you need to feel good about yourself and so you end up buying all new clothes. when you find one that could fit (a.k.a somehing that makes you feel/look slimmer), you get them in all colors.

That extra curve..

Okay, the obvious one would be the source of your baby's staple diet. Your boobs now have changed not only in terms of size, but also shape. And bras doesn't come cheap.

The other curve, is the not so obvious one but once you've taken your layers of clothings out, you'll see it. That pesky curve (a.k.a the bulge) on the belly area. Those tight-fitting shirts that you have.. just put them away.

To tell you the truth, I feel that I'm doing pretty good. I have lost all my pregnancy weight and my friends have all commented positively on how I look now (thanks to an all-new wardrobe!). But when your mother is slim-queen-sub-40kg-tiny-kurus-kedengking-speaks-her-mind-little-old-lady... *sigh*

Everyday I hear, "gemuknyaaaaaaaa... tengok itu perut.. boing.boing.. jery mitaii*.."



*like jelly..

Friday, March 03, 2006

Love hurts....

Someone very close to me has been hurt.. deeply by the one she loved. I am stumped. How could he do this to her? Yesterday I held her close, crying silently.. there's not much i could do to erase her pain except maybe to share it with her.

Everytime she sees Naiara, her silent tears turns into sobs. She has a baby on her own too, you see..

"And baby makes three.." Isn't that how the saying goes?
She asks me, then why do I feel so alone?
You have me, I said.
It's not the same..

I have no answers.. but I can share her tears.