Have you ever felt really alone?

Last night, it struck me. I felt that I was all alone in this big bad world. I'ts like I swallowed an astronomical self pity pill or something like that. Everything is just not right, the bolognaise sauce I made was too salty, the baby gagged on my boobs, and Homer just couldn't keep awake.

Cue that pathetic Backstreet Boys' song, Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely...

Last night .. I was the epitome of Loneliness. Lonely L..

The thing is, if everything(one) else is zippidy-doo-dah-top-of-the-world shape, then what the f*#k is wrong with me. Can't be the baby blues.. , PMS .. nope ..

Just one of them days I suppose..

-trying-to-snap-out-of-it-L

Let's all sing..

Happy Birthday to youuuu
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu
Happy Birthday dear Homerrrrrr
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu

A year older and hopefully wiser,eh?

-wise-enough-L

How's life?

If life is a drama, and the life we're talking about is mine, then what does it make me?

A Drama Queen.

Things have been ... how shall I put it.. surreal.

Ready for the story?

Last 2 weeks, I blacked out .. in the bathroom, while preparing for my precious Ni-Mu's bath. I can't say how thankful I am that I wasn't bathing her at the time and that Homer is already home from work. It was an exceptionally rough day, to say the least. I don't even remember the drive home nor filling the small tub with water. The next thing I know, my mom was next to me, asking me to wipe my face.

So alarmed was Homer that he actualy called 999 for an ambulance, which incidently came later than my mom who actually had to hail a cab to get to my place. I'd hate to think what would have become of me if it was something really serious. Once I'm in the emergency room, they strapped all kind of nonsense and poked me here and there to figure out what was wrong.

I've been having the flu, haven't been really eating and under stress so I suppose it was a sign from my tired little(?) body telling me to slow down. But you kow how it is, when everything happens at once, you just get sucked into the vortex and the next thing you know someone tells you to wipe your face.

The doctor said that there was something wrong with my ECG reading and told me that I have to stay the night so I can be monitored. All I can say is, that night, I wished for it not to be true, that I was just having a nightmare, but sadly I'm yanked back to reality. I blacked out .. for a good 20 minutes.

And so I was put through various tests the next morning, they even made me run on a treadmill at 30 degrees angle! Are they nuts?? I haven't been on a treadmill for a good year!

In any case, I'm glad to say that all tests came back okay, but I still haven't gone through my holter (some machine that records your heart rhythm for 24 hours) report with the doc. That'll be tomorrow at 11. It's been a long wait.

So many things up in the air, I'm feeling a little bit hard to breathe.

-waiting-to-exhale-L