To the left.. to the left..

When I was single, my aim was to lead a strong, confident, fulfilling and independent life. I made it a point to be mobile (i.e, have a car) and buy my own place in anticipation of leading a somewhat "Bridget Jones-ish" lifestyle.

I could actually see myself singing "All By Myself" on New Year's eve and eating tubs of ice cream while watching dvd's. And how I vowed to migrate by the age of 32 if there's nothing left for me here to explore.

Well I'm 32 now, and if you ask me whether anything has changed since my archetypal singleton dream... all I can say is .. Not really.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, nothing can beat having little Ni-Mu around. In fact, I now foresee us singing a duet "Just the two of us" instead of "All by myself" .. (okay .. maybe more along the line of Barney songs..). And then of course, there's Homer. God bless him, but I can't fight the feeling that we girls must always watch our own backs.

The saddest thing is, in as much as some girls work so hard in getting their lives together.. there'll always be some other people that deliberately shuts them down. Society tries to make women believe we are nothing without our traditional support system. And it makes me angry.

I was talking with an old friend last week and she was just getting over a relationship. It pains me to hear that even after going through a harsh break up in a manner that I don't even wish for my enemies, someone told her that perhaps she could have behaved differently (read: forgiving) she would still BE in a relationship.

The point is, she did not want that kind of relationship. She was like me, and I knew she was already slipping so far away from her old self. She's on her final stage of her break up. And so we celebrated by singing to Beyonce's latest "Irreplaceable.." (or at least we tried..)

-irreplaceable-L