Someone once said..

You can't please everyone. There will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision that you make. So stop beating yourself up whenever you hear anything bad about yourself. Get over it! Life is not a competition, the object is to live it to the fullest. If you've made a mistake, learn from it and never put yourself in that situation ever again.

That someone was me. At the age of 16, I was trying to make sense to a good friend in a time of her need.

I've always been a good listener, a source of kind words when people are down, a shoulder to cry on , someone to go to for a good conversation. I should really try a career in counseling.

Which brings us to a certain someone whom I chance to meet yesterday. Let's call him Mr. Mystery. He's in trouble; caught red handed doing something he promised he won't do to his wife. As it is, he has broken a lot of promises, and admitted that he's hurt his wife greatly with his "stupidity". His wife is furious, and is coming close to calling it quits. He, on the other hand is really sorry and doesn't believe that it's the end of the road for them. "It can't be.." he said remoursefully, "I love her.. She is my rock.. she's everything".

This is what I told him.

"You have to take responsibility for all your wrongdoings. And make sure she knows you're making the effort. If you still love her, tell her.. show her.. never for one second make her think otherwise. Even when she pushes you away, stay close. Make it known that you still want her. You have already admitted your mistake. Ask for forgiveness, go up to her and convince her that you're worth her time.."

"But, she's always so angry.."

"She has all the right to be angry, you said you want her.. need her.. that means taking her with all that she's got.. angry or not.. This is the person you cannot live without, right?"

"..yes"

"Then. why hesitate? Why give her time to think otherwise?"

".. I don't want to be in her face"

"Like it or not, you're already in her face with all your mistakes.. "

"I don't know what to say.. or do.. "

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself.. stop feeling anything for yourself, if you want her back.. Everything is about her now.."

"I don't think she'll feel differently.."

"Have you tried? Have you taken her out? Have you had a heart to heart talk? Have you told her how miserable you are that you broke her heart? Sacrificed anything for her? Spun a fairytale romance? Share her pain? Flowers? Gifts? Take some time off, spend it with her, pamper her, make it known you'd go all out for her? How can you say you don't think it will change anything if you haven't tried..? It's not like she's gone out to find a divorce lawyer.. Why think of defeat before even entering the battle?"

"She looks so hurt.."

"All the more reason for you to treat her wounds... Look, she didn't throw you out of the house, there's a good chance you can win her back. But before that, let me ask you.. Do you really love her, did you mean it when you said she's you're everything.."

"...."

"You've got to know what you're fighting for.. If your heart and soul believes in the cause, the battle is worthwhile, and if you win this battle, you will forever remember the route you took to win her back.. and hopefully remind you how much you'd go through for her. Remember, she's had to go through a pain that you could only imagine.. So don't question yourself if you have to stand up to a little prick here and there..."

"..."

"You think you can do that?"

".. Yes, but she keeps bringing it up.. "

"So? Keep on telling her how sorry you are.. and if you don't want to apologize anymore, tell her you're doing everything you can .. really tell her what you've been doing to make it easier for her.."

"I don't know.."

"Look, Mr. Mystery, it's up to you.. you wanted a woman's perspective.. I'm giving you one. At times like this, any woman just wants to be assured that you're worthy of her. And if you say you can't live without her, then you show it to her. No one said it's going to be easy.. You've hurt her.. Stop thinking that just because you've apologized and admitted to your mistakes, you're off the hook. In fact, you're never off the hook. People consistently work on their relationship.. In your case, you've got to work harder."

".."

"Make it work, Mystery-man.. You can't let someone like her slip away."

Any other advise for Mr. Mystery?

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