Another confession..

Confessions of a Drama Mama..

This is my story, I may get a lot of backlash by spilling this out but I just gotta do it.

"Mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena".. literally and figuratively hits the mark when it comes to explaining motherhood.

How do you clean yourself while having a tiny person screaming and banging on the shower screen... How can you truly enjoy food when every other minute you're making sure that tiny little person is eating their share of food and entertained... How do you have deep sleep knowing that a tiny person relies solely on you to comfort them..

I cannot recall the last time I had a great shower.. or a nice soak in the bath. Tried having that on my last business trip, but my schedule was just jam packed, I ended up enjoying the toilet seat more.. and look at how long I raved about that. Which reminds me that I no longer have privacy during nature's call, yep, she follows me there too.

I order the same thing everytime I go to Chilli's - Triple play, because.. Firstly, Nimu can eat the chicken crispers; secondly, they're finger foods so it is easy to just pick up and gobble down; thirdly, I seriously don't remember how it tasted in my previous visit... It's like, "hang on.. didn't I like the buffalo wings? it was good right? maybe i should just order that again and remind myself how it was..". And this happens EVERY time we go there. And really, it happens every single time we eat together, wherever I am, I just don't remember how the food tasted.

Even with Nimu sleeping through the night since she's 3 months old, I don't sleep like I used to. Just before I sleep, I worry about things I should have done .. like that small plate in the sink.. or her bottle, then I'd go out and clean the damn plate and bottle, then I'd realize that the clothes have been dry for the past 2 nights and I really should take them in and fold them... the list goes on.. which in turn manifest themselves into nightmares. I'd wake up all sweaty because my laundry just won't leave me alone!

I'm a magazine junkie, and I've a pile of InStyle that I haven't gone through, let's not forget books.. Ambitiously, I bought two last week.. only to take them out of the bag last night. And I swear I bought at least four in the past 6 months or so, but I have no idea where it is now. I guess this will explain my "not been shopping" but actually has bought gazillion new outfits..

There! I've said it! In as much as I love the fact that my baby girl can't let me go, or needs me to feed her or cries for me when she wakes up in the middle of the night ... that little part of me misses the time when it used to be all about ME....

And how do I handle "Motherhood"? With MIXED feelings .. the good, the bad and the ugly all rolled into one .. making me the "DRAMA MAMA". All I know is that I'm going to give my mum a trip to the spa for Mother's Day... after all, I'm sure she went through the "Mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, tidur tak lena" - phase.

To everyone who can relate to this entry, Happy Mother's Day! To Homer, happy golfing! (Homer bashing welcomed, although I have taken the "lantakla" attitude which to me is considerably more than the "whatevaaaa" stand point )

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