Good news, bad news

The thing with bad news - good news is, you always have to choose which one you would want to hear first.

Sometimes I wish I don't have to choose between the two. But life's like that, right? In fact, Life's all about the good, the bad and the ugly. So I guess I may as well brace myself for whatever comes next.

So f*^k the bad news..

Am moving forward. Straight to the fridge first..

-L

Not so SUNny Day

Sometimes Sunday can be a not so "sunny" day..

Sometimes it's dark..
Sometimes it rains..
Sometimes you're alone..

Sometimes you're just angry..
Sometimes you're just weepy..
Sometimes ..

Well, sometimes you just can't finish what you started and that makes me mad and sad.

-L

So near yet so far

Jason is coming.. and yours truly have not made any progress in getting the tickets.. Life's been complicated. Not just "needlessly complicated".. really, truly complicated. So many balls in the air, and I know one of them is going to drop very soon.. That's life.

So I am crossing my fingers and toes that I'd be able to get to see Mr. Mraz.. And if I can be so bold.. I'd ask him to hold my heart in his hand... Well, we all know that's not going to happen since it will mean instantaneous death.. and however complicated it is, my life is all I have and I ain't gonna waste it!

-strong-but-needy-L

Yoohoooo Frank!

The tailored black suit.
The sleek black Audi.
The non-chalant fighting skills.
The clean, crisp white shirt.
And the body underneath.

Delicious.

What are the odds of finding a guy called Frank who drives a bad ass Audi here?

Probably none.

There might just be a Frankie, though...

-i-want-to-be-transported-L

Hello '09!

The first day of 2009. Wow. It's finally here. I'm a little embarassed to say this but I bought my '09 planner in October, and was looking forward to jotting down many appointments and schedules.. So far, I only have a trip to Bandung penned in.

I ended '08 grooving to Mama Mia!.. and started '09 in high def.. via Blue Ray, plenty of fireworks, from here to "Klang" (according to Entrepreneurina) thanks to Mr. & Mrs Shell kind invitation. Lunch was surprisingly pleasant and a cosy dinner for three. An email saying my team has hit last year's sales projection.. Positive bank balance (albeit not so healthy..), my "Benefit a.k.a Dr Becky" project still going strong..

So far so good. And now, to fill my cute little planner up.. Lunch, anyone?

-Rah!-Rah!-L

You jump, I jump, right?

A couple of nights ago, I saw Titanic, yes, the movie.. with that haunting song that goes on and on.

That was my second time watching it. And I remembered exactly who I watched it with the first time around, and more importantly who I was as I sat there telling myself that I too will find somebody who will jump, if I jump.

Bollocks.. I know.. but I was a wide eyed girl who's heart just got broken to pieces then. I desperately wanted to believe that Titanic love IS out there, and that my Leonardo WILL find me as I look out to the world looking lost and forlorn.

Now, 11 years later, I'm a different person, but as I watched the old lady telling her tale all over again, I'm reminded of something I've forgotten for a very long time. And I must never forget it again.


-on-the-trampoline-of-life-L

What I want for Christmas..

Dear Santa,

I've been a good girl this year. Very good indeed.

Earlier, via my usual good thoughts chanelling session, I've sent you a list of what I really.. really want for Christmas. If those are too much to ask, I will be happy with just request #3.

Thanking you in advance,
Good-L, not to be confused with goodie-goodie-L

Book number #2

I am in the middle of reading another book. Yes. Slowly but surely, I'm reading the books that was bought perhaps years ago.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, The Kite Runner was fabulous.. (and so was the movie).. cried loads, of course.

And now I am reading Eat. Pray. Love (again, finally!!!) . I'm only half way through but I can't help but wonder if all Liz's in the world have conversations with themselves in their head.. because I certainly do..

CBF (that's Chief Baker Fairy) asked me a couple of days ago if I had read it, and I said no.. but I have it.. and so here I am reading it.. It's like reading a a transcript of what goes on in this streaked head of mine. I am still on the first part of the book, Italy.. and she's making me hungry for pizza..and take up Italian language so I can do tandem conversation exchange with Italian men...

But most importantly, it reminded me of the great times I had while I was there, years ago.. walking hand in hand, talking, watching the countless fontanas, taking beautiful pictures and eating all those wonderful gelatos.

-bookie-L

Yooo Hoooo... Where are you?

I'm losing my mind..

Where's that thing that makes my cheek glow? My lips moist and plump..? My eyes sparkle..?

It's all gone missing..

Where are you my dear?

Where's my freaking make up pouch???????!!!!!

-plain-L

Happy Birthday Sayang

Little Ni-Mu is 3!!! Threeeeeeee!! Wheeeee!!!


Jumping up and down the trampoline.

Running around the obstacle course game.

Blowing her candles.

Eating the icing off the Princess cake.

Jumping up and down the trampoline.

Showing off her sticker tattoos.


I am so proud of her, I can burst! And I love her so much.
And you know what else 23rd November marks?
My 3rd year of motherhood. I wouldn't trade it for anything else..

-Mummy-Mama-L

Life's a bitch

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaarrrRRRRRRRRrgggggggggggGGGGGggggHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..

There are times when you just want to scream but can't.. Throw things, but you stop yourself, because you know you're the one who has to clean it up, so you stop yourself. And you ask yourself over and over again why you feel the way you do? Feeling like your chest is going to explode because you just don't know what to do... Above all, you feel invisible.. that even if you scream from the top of your lungs, no one can hear you.. or worse, no one wants to hear you..

Of course, the kitchen is in a mess, the laundry bag is full, there's still water leaking in the guest toilet .. and there's no room for you on the sofa.

I. Am. You.

My Merry Life

My Ni-Mu, who's going to be three in a couple of weeks makes a lot of logic with her toddler talk, than most adults. It's no wonder she's now my confidante.

Yesterday, when I introduced her to a dear friend who's leaving her past behind to start a fresh new life continents away, I said, "This is aunty Yants, she's getting married .. Do you know what getting married is?"

Yes...

It's like a Merry Go Round..

Brilliant logic. My Child is a genius. It's very much like a Merry Go Round, no? You go round and round in a circle with plenty of ups and downs thrown in for good measure.

-round-and-round-L

In the still of the night..

Hang on, help is on the way, stay strong
Hold your own, know your name and go your own way
And everything will be fine..

Croons Jason Mraz, as I stare into the darkness of the room.

So I channelled him, and in my mind we were sitting across each other, the room flickered with that lavender scented candle.

Why do we keep on paving over paradise? Because we’re only human, he said
Why do I have to go to the toilet so often? You have weak bladder, hon...
Can I have a hug? You don’t have to ask, hon..
I'm so tired.. Come rest with me, hon..

That wasn't so hard.. I should do this more often..

I think I'm in love with my iLuv, help!

-L

Worthy of a note..

Please take note of the following -

1. If you’re the type that cries at weddings, or sensitive (tak tentu pasal) do NOT watch p.s I Love You, alone.

2. If you have lost faith in Tom Cruise, do watch Tropic Thunder. Tom, I never knew you had it in ya!

3. If you bump into someone who makes your skin crawl.. who then asks for your number, look them straight in their eyes and say, “No, I don’t want to give my number to you..” . It is surprisingly liberating! *Hurrah for me… I actually did this last week!*

4. Do sing and dance to Mamma Mia the movie. I am willing to go with anybody out there who has an extra ticket to the show. Will pay for it. For guys – I am delicious and will not disappoint as a date, no strings attached (Bonus!). For girls – I am delicious and am a hoot.. (not to be confused with hooters..)

-delicious-hoot-mama-L

You know your trip will be great when..

.. You have a great lunch, get on the ERL train on time and no lines as you check in for your flight.

Flight was on time, and you have the whole row to yourself. Walk straight out of the customs into a white Mercedes Benz taxi and no traffic going to the hotel.

Looking fabulous in your heels (even after being in them since lunch) and sat on the front row of the fall/winter jewelry fashion show.

Positive feedbacks from your client even when everyone else is talking doom and gloom, healthy snacks with new found friends as you wait for your old dear friend to come over.

And he picks you up in his swanky Porsche, takes you to a nice collonial bungalow restaurant cum bar, talking and laughing as we catch up with each others lives.

Thank you for a wonderful yesterday, still riding high today, and looking forward to a better tomorrow!

-and-now-hunting-for-that-elusive-black-pumps-L

I'm a machine.. A *bleeping* machine..

I've been doing a lot of girlie things with the little princess.. And I have to say when it comes to going out shopping, Ni-Mu is a pro, as expected. She IS my little girl.

So on Thursday night, I realized that we were running low on milk so of course, I've decided to make a girlie night out. A little window shopping, a nice dinner and of course, a trip to the supermarket. Somewhere between the meat deli and the Japanese food section, Ni-Mu came up to me

Mama..I farted... *giggles*.

Baby, you don't have to announce it to everyone.. okay..

Uncle Zaki says I'm a fart-machine .. *still giggling*

Okay..*rolling eyes*.. great, I thought.. the one thing he says that actually sticks on her mind is that..
No, baby.. please don't say that.. you are NOT a fart-machine *hushed voice*

Yeah.. I'm not a fart-machine.. You're the fart-machine, mama..yoU'RE THE FART-MACHINE.. YOU'RE THE FART-MACHINE..HAHAHA.. MAMA.. YOU'RE THE FART MACHINE.. MAMA'S THE FART-MACHINE!

*horror! horror* while trying to shush her down.

The thing is, she's not even 3 yet, so you can imagine her enunciation of fart, sounds more like the dreaded 4 letter word.. YES, that f*#king 4 letter word.

And in as much as I received appreciative glances from the deli guy and some guy who was reaching out for chilli flakes.. I totally wanted to dive into freezer. Of course, that was not possible, so I just grabbed Ni-Mu, plonked her on the cart, and went straight to the cashier.

Yes, I was mortified. No, I didn't get any number. Am I a *bleep* machine? Ahhahahaaa.. what do you think?

-t-not-k-L

Are you alive Romance?

So, what do you do when you have a gazillionaire boyfriend, who stocks up a walk in closet (which used to be his library) with Jimmy Choos and rows and rows of haute couture? You count your blessing. Of course, this was a scene from Lipstick Jungle.. but for a moment I imagined what it would be like to be that girl. Argh! And now, he's schmoozing and dancing with her while a guy plays the piano and a wonderfully voiced lady sings.

We mere mortals may not have that kind of romance, but I see them around me. The Geek and Chief Baker Fairy walks hand in hand after supper; my mum and dad tasting food and telling each other what each other should eat and which ones to avoid; a friend getting excited on fb about his date with his wife...

Romance is not dead.

As long as people know that some things are important enough not to let go, romance will stay alive. And I shall leave it at that.

-L

The B's are now 3..

In the Land Beneath the Wind, a baby is born, and she will bring so much joy to one of my favorite couple..



I remember when Ni-Mu came into our life. She was perfect. My pride and joy, our Ice Age baby.



It's coming close to three years now. So many milestones ..



The heaven has opened up, and I can feel myself getting drenched. I better take the laundry in.



There'll be plenty of laundry to be done for Mr. and Mrs. B from now on. Of little sleepsuits and whatnots.. Congratulations my dears.. Can't wait to see the little one.



-aunty-L

Chiffon and Wax CAN make a girl happy..

Never underestimate the power of Hari Raya last minute prep.

The raya songs.. the right mood... the stars all lined up perfect. And in between I had a man working on toes... Aya - Caramba!

The damage? 650 ringgit! Thanks to Chief Baker Fairy..... 45 ringgit pedi, my *ss... Fairies are such unpredictable creatures!

What I got - Chiffon baju kurung with green and yellow batik motive, a "very me" short dress (typical me.. got distracted and succumbed to the fashionista side of moi), a charming necklace and happy shiny feet (previously wrapped in a layer of warm wax... mmmmmm... delicious).

And even managed to close my $150K deal over the phone. Dayymmnnn, I'm super efficient today. Totally lived up to my CFF persona.

And to think, there's still one more day till Raya...

Selamat Hari Raya all and Maaf Zahir Batin. And to all my friends, you are all I could wish for and more. Thank you and let's stuff ourselves silly with coffee kisses first raya night at my place... BYO coffee kisses.. I may not be inclined to share mine....

-raya-ya-ya-ya!-L

What happens in Vegas..

Doesn't necessarily stay in Vegas..

The Sin City has been good to me. I came back with a realization that I am who I am, and more importantly, what I want in life.

To many, I have it all. I don't, far from it..

I am smart, intelligent, beautiful (on the inside, at least), carry myself well, a cosy home, supportive family and a whole bunch of wonderful friends. The thing is, when we DO have it all, then theoretically we are done in our journey of life. And once we're done, then we stop growing.. and you guys know what it means when we stop growing? We begin to die. I don't want to die, metaphorically speaking, of course.

Didn't mean to sound like an unqualified life guru, but seeing Anthony Robbins on that fateful Tuesday morning was something else. Although my experience was nothing like that movie where Jeff Black saw the beauty within Gwyneth Paltrow (who had to wear a fat suit..). That morning, he spoke for close to three hours, and I listened.. really listened. All I know is that I want to keep on growing. Even when it feels like death, I never want to let my being die. I won't. I can't.

I also learned another thing, in a world where everyone strives to be a CEO, or a COO or a CFO. I now know that I want to be a CFF. I want to be a CFF! That's Chief Fun Fairy. That's right .. I want to be Chief Fun Fairy of my own life, folks. Thanks to a hyper fun cheerful Aussie named Amanda Gore.

I'll leave all the smart quotes to the CEO, which may go something like the following,

"To me, success is built on honesty, integrity and a person's own initiative to succeed. Personally, having the right attitude is always important in the pursuit of happiness and excellence. My current aim in life is to work hard and play hard. I intend to not leave any stone un-turned to progress in my career. I also believe, while enjoying a successful career, I'd like to ensure that I am able to enjoy my life and my family..."

I'll be the one waving my imaginary magic wand *bbrrriing* -ing all the bad thoughts away and putting back sparkles in the people in my life, and most importantly, myself. I'll make my wishes and dreams come true. And if someone out there keeps on *pffooff* -ing on me.. they'll just have to stay out of my life. No one's *pfoof*ing on my life.. Not on my watch.

Walk the walk, baby.

Out with the bad and ugly, and in with the nice and beautiful.

And if I slip, I'll get right back on the saddle. I promise.

-scared-shitless-but-determined-L