Of stuff that ensued today:
Q: Why can’t I find shoes my size in Dubai?
A.1: Ladies here just have larger feet.
A.2: My feet was bound (a-la-lotus-blossom) when I was a child.
Q: How come I can’t fit in designer clothes?
A.1: The designer’s muses are often tall and skinny people.
A.2: High fashion is meant for tall and skinny people.
A.3: I look ridiculous in them anyway.
Q: Why haven’t I made any new friends?
A.1: The "snob-L" overpowered the "friendly-L".
A.2: The people I made small talk with are all tourists.
Q: Why does the car behind me always have to flash their lights?
A.1: I drive a small car; therefore I don’t deserve the drive on the fast lane.
A.2: The drivers have an irrepressible urge to flex on the light indicator.
Q: Why was I lost during dinner conversation?
A.1: I was outnumbered 7 to 1 by IT people.
A.2: I think it is time for me to learn some heavy IT jargon.
Q: How come Homer is not peering into my computer screen as I type this?
A.1: He’s giving me some privacy, finally!
A.2: He’s watching TV.
A.3: He’s watching Fashion TV (FTV).
A.4: He’s watching models parading in REALLY skimpy bikinis on FTV.
Q: Guess who is going to be smacked right after I post this?
A.1: Homer.
-know-it-all-L
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