Adieu, adieu...

I feel like I have been in a time warp zone. *blink* I am cleaning up my place after a successful albeit no view of KL fireworks 2004 New Year’s Eve Party. *blink* Falling down over 200 times while skiing in Tehran and most probably forced my ski instructor to an early retirement. *blink* Homer managed to talk his way into my hotel room in Singapore to surprise me on my birthday, while I was out partying with my boss! And who can forget that gift? *blink* Pretending to be an art patron in a gallery and ended up buying six paintings in Bali! *blink* (Mouth open) watching a male dancer gyrate his body on a pool table with nothing but a sock on his you-know-what in a club at Castro. *blink* Burning the dance floor with Barney, Lil’ Bob and BJ (without their costumes, of course) at HRC *blink* Running around the apartment screaming “aiieeeee!!! A bat! A bat!” *blink* 4 girls pretending to be Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda (with outfits to match!) drinking Milo ais at a mamak stall *blink* 2 bundles of joy arrived for 2 of my favorite people. *blink* Watched the news in horror as the Acheh earthquake aftermath unfolds. *blink* Faces of family and friends laughing and smiling, warmth envelopes my being, and for this I am eternally grateful. *blink* Watching the sun set against the Burj Al Arab, soft violet rays rest on the horizon, arms wrapped around sweet Homer, keeping him warm. *blink* Life is capricious, sometimes good, sometimes bad and sometimes ugly. We made it through, we kept our heads up, we kept swimming and we will keep it up with strong strokes .... and we shall never stop, until our time is up. -farewell-2004-L

Men and change?

Men and change, two subject matter that was in my head the whole day today.

..and speaking of my head, I'd like to do little shout out to the set of unnatural curls that was painstakingly set upon nearly ten moths ago! With the magic of a newly purchased diffuser blowdryer (and some curl enhancer spritz spray), the curls are now back to its former bounciness.


I just have to write about the hair first.. I was having a great hair day! The question is; why didn't I have the sense to buy this diffuser dryer earlier? Aside from the fact that it looks a lot like toilet plunger and when put close to the head it looks like some machine that will suck the life out of your brain, I just never knew that it does wonders for wavy/curly hair! They should really advertise this stuff!


Now back to men and change, what can I say, they do. They start small, like not controlling their sphincter in front of you or offering the last piece of food or help setting up the table. And then they creep in the big ones, perhaps somewhere along the line of ignoring you completely. But hey, I'm just focusing on the negative side of change (with the focus being on just men too, hehe), and that's not fair, is it?


Today, apart from my great hair day, I bought myself a cute baby blue quilted bag, and Homer, god bless his heart, said the most adorable thing;"Nice...looks very Chanel!" He even pronounced it right, shuh-nell. This coming from someone who could not tell the difference between black and brown barely 2 years ago! Voila! Positive change in men is not an urban myth. You heard it here first, boys! It takes a REAL man to know fashion!


-ever-changing-L

Things I learned today..

That I didn't know yesterday.. 1. Death toll of the devastating earthquake in Acheh has dramatically risen to 44,000. It is expected to rise further. Heartbreaking.. 2. Dubai drivers do NOT know how to handle their cars in the rain! At one point, all cars as far as my eyes can see had their blinking hazard lights on! It wasn't even really raining that hard, as a KLite, I've driven in much worse thunderstorm. I checked a few websites on driving in the rain and NOT one of them said anything about turning on hazard lights. Here's one particular site that I found useful. Sheesh! cars zooming with hazards lights on, which way are you going, mister! 3. When you plan to have a short "relaxing" coffee break by yourself, do NOT pick a table between a group of teenage girls and a group of horny french tourist boys. I officially became a disgruntled postal worker at 4 pm. Really! Several notes passed through yours truly 4. Men do change after marriage. Today, Homer finished the last piece of hash brown, without asking whether I wanted it. I prepared fried chicken and hash brown, and since his body mass is more than mine, he eats more than I do. However, he ALWAYS asks me whether it's okay for him to gobble everything down. Come to think of it, he used to set the table before ANY meal..*sigh* gone are the days..."batu belah, batu bertangkup, telanlah aku, aku kempunan hash brown..." -wiser-L

Intentions..intentions...

Funny isn't it? When we see a car wreck, we tend to slow down, trying to catch a glimpse of what had happened. The thing is, we are drawn to unpleasantry. Instinctively, we will unite in the same thoughts; what happened? was the driver speeding? drunk? careless? any casualty? whose fault was it?


Then we divide into mainly 2 schools of thoughts. First, drive on - I'm helping by doing this. I will ease traffic and therefore help can come through. Second, let's stop - I'm helping by doing this. I'll park my car, call a tow truck and ambulance and tend to the victims.


The thing is, both reactions has underlying noble connotation. However, if the intents are not as straightforward as expressed above, that's when things go awry. Drive on - "get out of my way, stupid! why were you driving so carelessly?". Let's stop - "We've got to take the number of that car!" or "call XXX tow truck! let's get them in before YYY tow truck gets here!".


Like it or not, that's the world we live in.


People all over are still in distress over the 9.0 earthquake that hit Asia. And we are all grieving and praying for those who has been displaced and still missing. Whatever you do, I hope that you put your heart and soul into it. We get it, many lives were innocently taken, now how can we HELP?


This post is written after reading Sham's post. In case some people thought I've gone wacko..


-objectively-L

The earth has spoken..

And it's a serious conversation.

We are now left to face the aftermath of the biggest quake in 40 years. At the time of this entry, the death toll is has risen to 13,300.

It unleashed its fury - Indonesia, Malaysia, India, Bangladesh, Thailand, Sri Lanka, Maldives and other coutries surrounding the epicentre of the earthquake suffered in its wake. When I picked Homer up from work yesterday, it was all he could talk about. We were both glued on CNN and BBC news.

Amidst all this, I am stunned,and thought to myself;

The balance of nature is never certain; it hangs precariously on each of mothernature's fingertips.

A plate slips from our hands, it falls and breaks. The earth plate moves, the jolt is disastrous..Tremors felt thousands of miles away, buildings crumble. Walls of water crushes down, drowning civilizations.

Natural calamity has taken so much from us; and yet our thirst for blood is so unquenchable that we need to seek for more.. Will the cycle never end?

As I woke up this morning, I saw that my lawn is unusually a deeper shade of green. It had rained. A phenomenon few and far between in this land I now call home. Even the desert sky is swollen with sadness and shed tears..

-melancholic-L-

Charmed?

The most civil and commonsensical break up scene ever on the silver screen has got to be between Kathleen (Meg Ryan) and Frank (Greg Kinnear) in You've Got Mail. *giggling and smiling..* What about you? Is there someone else? No............No, but there is the dream of some one else.. They went on home and he packed his stuff, took a cab and left. Just like that, case closed, time to move on.. Wouldn't it be great if all break ups are like that. I'm drawn again to the case of the jilted bride, what a dreadful situation to be in. Devoid of interesting gossips, I find myself following the story. The continuation doesn't surprise me, the runaway groom was charmed, claims family. Why is it that when things go wrong, many of us are quick to put the blame on black magic or charm. Just because you can't explain it, it MUST be due to some mysterious phantom taking over the person and therefore resulting in his or her unexplainable behaviour. I do believe that the super naturals exist, but my question is, if its not a "popular" decision, does it always mean that something "else" made you do it? To me, it's all about fast and easy fix, nothing is your fault..hey, it's NOT me, I was under an unexplained spell that make me do things I wouldn't do. Hmmph. It's been said and done, why the excuses? Just admit it.."He's just not that INTO her". There.. isn't that easy? It's going to be painful but at least its the truth. The mumbo-jumbo "he was charmed" does not make it easier to accept the fact that it is over. If only we all can be open, honest and forgiving. Then we can all sit down in a coffee shop, decide that we're not compatible, have a giggle and go our separate ways. Alas, we're all under a spell... -someone-made-me-write-this-L

The art of staying at home

on an off day.. If you think it is easy peasy, think again. It is an art form where each phase needs to be cleared before it can be mastered. First of all, the house needs to be relatively clean, if not, as the person who stays at home you'd go crazy watching 16 dust/hairball rolling around the living area. Next, you need to have AT LEAST 2 clean mugs and a clean plate (per person). You need to eat and drink right? And the reason why you need 2 clean mugs is because sometimes you just want to have 2 type of drinks, say water and diet coke. The fridge/larder has to be well stocked, or enough for you not to starve. Bottled water or a variation of drink to your personal liking is vital to keep the body hydrated. After all, what's the point of lounging with a hoarse throat and an empty stomach? The food needs to be one of those that is easy to prepare, like sandwich bread, cold cuts, cheese, 2 minute cup noodles, you get the drift. And for obvious reasons - junk food! (for those who are health conscious, fresh fruits). Make sure you have good programs to watch, feel good DVD movie or a good book. In any case you do not have any of these, an entertaining individual (who can control their sphincter, preferably) will work just as well. The area of which you intend to make your "throne" for the day has to free from sharp objects, food residue and most importantly, is able to accomodate your drinks, food, munchies, TV remote within your hands' reach. Who says art is dead? It's alive and lives amongst us. -ahh-this-is-the-life-L

Christmas cancelled??

Apparently, Christmas has been cancelled .. I received this today from another fellow baddy- NOTICE: Christmas has been cancelled and it's all because of YOU. I told Santa that you've been good all year..He died laughing!! HO HO HO That jerk! Merry Christmas to those who've been gooooooddd .. -have-been-good-really!-L

Weekend again (for me)..

This is my second attempt to get accustomed to the fact that Thursday is the start of the weekend here in Dubai. Back in KL, we used to hang out, have coffee and cake with friends. So the problem is this, we have no friends (yet) and Homer just refuse to spend the weekend with his colleague (me thinks he’s just not popular in the office).

We made our way to Madinat Jumeirah, in hope to find a spot that can be our little regular “coffee-coffee” thing. This place is something else! The Arabian version of Venice.

We saw the Abras (water taxis) ferrying guests from the hotels to the mall, the sky; enveloped with violet cotton candy, as the sun sets into the Arabian gulf. The chocolate pudding melting in my mouth…aahhh, a good start for a nice romantic night, yyeeaahh…

I spoke too soon, we just HAD to be seated next to a rambunctuous group of Brits and I ended up watching what they were up to. I admit, I have a problem, I LOVE watching people and obviously, this fits perfectly well with my Thursday roster.

They were really fun to watch, I gathered that they are probably here on a sporting event or there’s a bodyguard/bouncers convention. One of them wore a bright red t-shirt that says “I MASTURBATE”, hah! Imagine seeing that in an Arab country!

I really wanted to find out who they were, but I realized something. Aside from staring is BAD; I can pretty much pass off as a Filipino gal (and Homer may as well be my pimp) ogling a group of drunk men! *gulp* I may get into REAL trouble.

In fact, the waiters were giving us the single eye brow lift when we first took our seats. Alright, we may not look like we have tonnes of money, but we can afford a chocolate pudding, fries and 2 cokes. (hey, the pudding was RM30 a pop!)

Since our cake session set us back quite a bit, I decided that we should have dinner at home. We stopped at the neighbourhood grocers and as usual, the shopaholic that I am, bought 5 times more than intended (even in a supermarket!). I was eyeing this Heinz Organic Banana Breakfast mix, until Homer said, “why are you looking at baby food?..”.

Erk! For what its’ worth, it really did look yummy..

-good-girl-L-

We need to talk...

Since my move, I have been guilty of not having reading news from Malaysia, lo and behold, as I skimmed the headlines, I found this. Whoa!! He called the wedding off via text message? And he is a footballer? Well, he’s a footballer alright; his balls are located at his foot! I suppose it is none of my business to judge other people, and to second guess what really happened but hey, tough! The story was in the news so.. tra-la-la…. Marriage (or serious relationships for that matter) is not something to be taken lightly and honey, it ain’t easy. Having said that, break-ups are tough too. (remember those times when you feel dejected, miserable, near suicidal?). But, if you feel that it is not right and it is not going to work, then you have to TELL the other person. Remember the movie Jerry Maguire? "If you don't LOVE her, then, you've gotta TELL her!". In the end he realised that he did actually love her...and guess what? he caught the next flight to TELL her! Whatever it is, you do NOT text message your fiancée 19 hours before the big do! You see, if the footballer (hah!) had the balls to talk to his fiancée personally, He probably wouldn’t have to drag his ass to the court. His defense was that he didn’t have it in his heart to tell her that it’s not meant to be, my thoughts (as I’m sure the fiancée) are; jilting her like that then, is something that comes from the heart? We women are the sensitive sort, this guy obviously has never watched a chick-flick, hasn’t he heard of this little thing called closure? When we don’t get them we can go crazy, out of our mind and worse case scenario - MENtal. I don’t mean to come out all male-bashing, especially after yesterday’s post. For all I care; the fiancée was not capable to get it through her head that he doesn’t want to get hitched (maybe he did try, albeit unsuccessfully to tell her). All I’m trying to say is, nothing good ever comes out from sending life altering pronouncements via text messages. So guys and gals beware! If someone from Felda Dengar can appoint a lawyer named K.S Dass to instigate legal action, anyone can! For goodness sake, start talking (and listening) to each other! -we-girls-have balls-too-only-they're-much-higher-L-

MEN..

I received this many times before in my mail box and decided to share it with you all;

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...I never looked at it this way before, but ever notice how all of womens' problems start with MEN?

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUY (as in gy) naecologist

And when we have REAL trouble, it's a HIS (as in hys) terectomy.

I have one more to add-

MENage a Trois... (probably one of Homer's many fantasies that will never come true..)

Hmm.. on second thought, it may not be a problem to some women but it is for me..

-incapable-of-sharing-L

Life analogy.

I spent this whole morning jumping from one blog to another, it's funny how other people's life intrigues us so much (or maybe its just me, help!). I suppose deep down inside we all want to know how other people live their life, do we measure up?, am I normal?, are we all confused and if we are, can anyone out there help us? Back home, I surround myself with friends and each of them have their own way of tackling the web of life. And boy! we are certainly a bunch of bananas! I've always been a good listener, but more so, due to an uncontrollable "misadventure" switch, have always had so much to add to our endless hodge podge of banana mush. What is it about life that is so wild and unpredictable? And why so many amongst us get caught up in the ups and downs of relationships? Well, here's my take- We are all trying to keep our heads up, all of us are struggling in this ocean called "LIFE". We all have the same basic ability to swim (survive), some may be better off and may own a kayak/boat/yacht (depending on their wealth), nevertheless it is all up to our own ability to keep ourselves from drowning (engulfed in immense sorrow/wallowing in self pity/etc). Every now and then you'll meet fellow swimmers (or some one in a kayak/boat/yacht) that you can get along with, or going in the same direction, depending on the intensity of "chemistry", they become your friends or perhaps more than that. In my case, I started off swimming, and I met other fellow swimmers as we all were riding the same wave. Eventually I met someone, we swam together, but after a while he seems to be dragging me down. I was lucky to be able to let go before I completely drowned. I faced this many times.. I swam slower after each incident, depended more on the current of my fellow friends.. A few times we all caught a lucky break and hooked on bigger waves (and perhaps the occasional ride on the ferry..) and managed to get ourselves out of the water and so the journey begins with a nice little kayak. While I paddled on, my muscles grew stronger, my heart healed. And one fine day, I saw a swimmer with long strokes, calm and confident. He finally caught up with me and decided to paddle together, with his strength, the kayak (hmm, maybe it's a boat now, with an unnumbered horse power engine? who knows?) now moves faster, we are now a single unit. It's not easy, but we work hard to be a team. I am sure that everyone can relate to this. Even if you're on a 100 ft yacht, you'll have to get wet first before you get in it. If at any point of time you get hit by a powerful thunderstorm, and your beloved kayak/boat/yacht sinks, you need to be able to keep your heads up!And so it begins all over again... To end with a lighter note, I am humming to myself , "just keep swimming..just keep swimming...swimming..swimming..swimming..hmm..hmm" just like Dora from Finding Nemo.. After all she did find Nemo! -working-hard-for-a-nice-little-boat-L

Dubai driving 101

Maneuvering the car from the left hand side is not as difficult as I thought it would be, but gosh..driving here is unnerving. Everybody..and I mean e-very-bodayh! drives like Schumacher. Given their wealth, most people have big engine cars and they really make full use of it. Even in residential areas, cars zoom in at 100 km/h! I admit that the roads here are in excellent condition, a far cry from the usual pot-holled and uneven paved roads I'm used to. But still, when you're trying to figure out which lane to be to get to your destination, it is s-c-a-r-y to see a giant landcruiser on the rear view mirror coming up to runneth you over like a roadkill. I guess there is no better way to learn how to get around than to just grit your teeth and push on the gas pedal, and not to mention having damn thick skin whenever you get blaringly honked! Hmm, I wonder if they have a sticker that says "I'm new here..Gimme a break!!". I wonder if we can afford those gprs-road-map built in cars.... -i-know-i-can-L-

Robbie.. oh....Robbie!

Robbie and I....ahak!ahak!

He's quite the conversationalist (at least to me..). What's that Robbie? Why, of course I'd take you around Dubai.. Him?(as in Homer) No.. he just drives me around, that's all..

Even when made up of cardboard, he can STILL thrill me.

-missus-williams-wannabe-L-

Posted by Hello

I can't believe I missed Mummy's birthday!

Shit, shitty..shit..

How could I miss it? The woman that gave life to me, who brought me up so lovingly, who taught me all the greatest life lessons, the woman who left her family in search of love ... only to have her only daughter completely missing out on her birthday, some fifty years later?

There is one particular photo of my mum that's etched on my mind, taken at the old airport, she looked oh so young, long straight hair with a middle parting; almost Yoko Ono-ish. She looks up into the lens of the camera, anxious, a slight smile with me sleeping soundly in her arms.

I never really asked her about the photograph, but, I knew that this was the first time she returns to her hometown with her firstborn. I was really tiny in the picture, so she must have just finished her 40 days confinement when we went on that trip. I truly hope I didn't give her that much trouble on the flight.

How brave of her, to leave everything behind for her one love. And now returning with her first child, the first grandchild for my Obaa-chan.

I was never really clear about her momentous trip to Malaysia, but 10 years ago, it was all revealed to me by an elderly relative, Tuk S. My late grandfater, Atok was furious when he found out that my father has taken a bride, apparently my father wrote a letter and said that if they do not accept his decision, he will never return home.

All hell broke loose, Tuk S managed to calm Atok down, " there is no point acting like this, you do not want to lose your son, tell him to come back and we can work things out." Incidently, one of my aunts was getting married so my father was asked to come back for the wedding so that it could be a double wedding celebration.

Tuk S then borrowed Ah Cheong's (the chicken towkey) car to pick the newlyweds from the airport. On the way back, they stopped at Kajang for a taste of satay, the kuah kacang proved to be too hot for my mum, suffice to say here that my dad made sure there was no gravy on any of her satay.

As the loaned car made its' turn into the compound, everyone rushed towards the car! I asked mummy how she felt at this point, "rasa macam Beatles!" (felt like I was the Beatles!). Every makcik and pakcik dropped what they were doing to see the "pengantin Jepun" (Japanese bride).

She was whisked away by all the elders and was put in a room with my aunt. Henna was put on her hands as they showed her the dress she was going to wear for the Bersanding ceremony the next day. Everything went well, but Nenek (my grandmother) was furious, her chicken rendang no longer looked like one as it was left on the fire for too long and many of her potted plants lay broken around the house. "Semuo garo-garo nak tengok pengantin Jepun"*, she muttered.

Which brings to me to another picture, my mum and dad on the unmistakebly 70's pelamin (altar). She was wearing a white gown (the smallest they could find), bee hive hair and one very high wooden platform shoes! (the only pair she had with her which was fancy enough for a wedding, I guess).

Till today, Mummy tries to hide the picture, but it always seemed to find its way to my Nenek's living room.

Happy Belated Birthday Mummy!

And Happy Belated Anniversary to my mum and dad! (d'oh! i forgot that too!! arghh!)

-guilt-ridden-forever-L

* All for a glimpse of the Japanese Bride

Weekend: over too soon..

Having the weekend on Thursday and Friday is an alien concept for me. Unfortunately I am still on KL (and most of the world!) mode..Just think, you guys are just starting your glorious weekend, while mine has just ended. Not that it really mattered to me, after all I do work on my own time..but still, my weekend is over...*bawl*

-saturday-but-feel-like-monday-L-

Uh..Oh..!

Houston..we have a problem.. sckxxx...schkzxxx (static noise) there is nothing to else to eat, manic woman has finished the chicken soup.. sczzkkcc....tchkszzzz.. and the reese's cups are all gone.. tcskxxxx...(more static noise) I have this problem where I get really cranky when I don't have my tummy filled up. Age catches up, metabollic burn rate goes down - and that's why I have been shopping for more clothes (unlike what some other people might say, I do NOT have a "shopping" problem) - to fit the *new* me. Obviously I need to exercise more (I actually brought my bellydance for cardio workout CD), and I'm really hoping that the next time I'm back in KL, I'd be a leaner me! "Thunderous claps from friends, gushing compliments, etc.." At this rate, I'll be happy to just hear people say, "hey, you haven't changed a bit!" -so-cranky-L-

The queen has arrived!

Cloudless, azure blue sky, Arabian-esque houses line up like giant leggos, buzzing sound faintly from the tiny garden, unfamiliar surroundings keeps jolting me back to reality. I am truly here.

Yesterday passed with a hurried blur, when Molly* showed me all the multi colored silk treasures she found while she was here, I was completely zombied out. All the scarves, silk, egyptian cotton and jubah rose up and started to dance around the stuffed camel called Jordan. The scarves then jumped onto Molly's head and magically wrapped themselves around her mouth area, untill all I hear is muffled sounds of her voice.

Jordan the stuffed camel then hoisted herself up, front legs up, then her hind legs, she trotted to the end of the coffee table, where she found the egyptian cotton and started to nibble on it. The multi colored silk material opened themselves up to show the extent of their psychedelic grandeur. They inched closer and closer..

Then Jordan the camel started to grunt loudly, "grnh..grnhh...grnh...."

...So, this one I make baju kurung and this one maybe to a long skirt, molek dok?..

"grnh...grnhhh..."

Isyh, this camel is too sensitive, and I can't switch it off! So, L, what do you think? Ok dok?

The camel toy for Jordan?

Noooo.. the kain' .. I make baju kurung, nice or not?

Oh, yea.. nice mok!

When did the scarves unwrapped themselves and jumped into the big red suitcase?

***

I'm all alone today, just the way I like it. Homer came back a while ago to make sure our broadband connection is up and running. It's really funny when he struts around the house, telling the service guy what to do and then come up to me and say, " Taadaaa...all for you! See..". (hand gestures, teeth showing smile and batting eyeslashes included okay!). Ahem! Case point no 25. on who's really wearing the pants..

-falah-falah-L

*Molly= Homer's mommy..

Panic!

8 hours to go.. Packing - 75% Pending bills - 80% Goodbyes - Not really goodbye, more like see you all soon.. In any case, if Homer is efficient enough to get the internet line up and running by the time I get there, you'll be hearing more of my needlessly complicated life. -hope-i'm-not-forgetting-anything-important-L

"Sah?....Sah..."

The most interesting place to be on a Saturday morning is the Nikah/Rujuk/Cerai office at Jabatan Agama Islam Wilayah Perseketuan, next to the Masjid Negara. This morning, I was there to collect my long overdue and possibly cob web ridden official marriage certificate.

Went up to the queue number machine and looked at the options – one single red button that says “nikah/rujuk/cerai” (marriage/reconcile/divorce). I find it funny that these three services are rendered at the same office.

As I pressed the button and got my ticket, I saw that there was only one man in front of the information counter, so I decided to stand in line. After all, maybe I didn’t have to wait for my number to come up since it’s just the certificate collection.

Jadi sekarang apa masalahnya?
Isteri saya dah meninggal.
Jadi?
Saya nak pasang lagi satu.
Oh, encik kena bawak surat kematian isteri, lepas tu, kena tengok i/c bakal isteri encik, kalau alamat KL, bolehlah kita bagi surat kebenaran nikah
Tapi saya ada dua calon! Nak tengok yang mana satu?
Ermm, panjang cerita ni.. dua-duanya setuju ke?
Saya sebenarnya tak tahu mana satu nak pilih..
Kalau macam tu, encik balik fikir dulu, bincang dengan sesiapa yang patut.
Terima Kasih lah ye!

I swear I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he was just in front of me!

Cik?
Saya nak ambil sijil nikah saya.
Oh, nikah kat KL ke?
Ha-ah, kat Masjid Wilayah
Bila?
Dua tahun lepas ? (senyum tersipu-sipu)
Oh..Ada la kat sini, dah ambik mombor?
Dah..
Ha, duduklah, tunggu..

Erk!

The seats were mostly filled up so I sat at the front row, near the information counter, again, let me reiterate, I had no intention to eavesdrop, although the exchanges are fascinating!

Cik! Saya nak bercerai!
Sabar dik.. Dah pikir masak-masak?
Saya tak larat dah! Kami memang dah tak bersefahaman!
Tapi kita sebagai orang Islam tak boleh nak bercerai macam tu je..ada process.
2 tahun sama dengan dia…saya confirm nak cerai!
Sabar, ambil borang ni, tapi kena pergi mahkamah syariah, lepas tu kaunseling..
Ah, tak nak kaunseling la kak, tak boleh ke cerai je?
Kita kena ikut peraturan dik, isi ni dulu ok, ambil nombor, nanti kat kaunter diorang boleh tolong.
Alah, leceh la…

The boy is no older than 23, mat motor-ish, he left huffing, carrying his helmet.

This place is a haven for gossip columnist! But let me digress from further exploiting my position in front of the information counter.

It must be unnerving for people who are getting married to get their papers done in the same room as the people getting their divorces. No pun intended here, but imagine if I started some small talk with the person next to me. There I am, all smiley and happy talking about my wedding preparation when the other person is contemplating a divorce! I suppose the best bet is to just keep to yourself when you’re in the nikah/rujuk/cerai office.

The room brought me back to the time when I was getting married. Man! You want to complain about bureaucracy? Getting married in Malaysia (as a muslim) is one big roll of colorful tape. Both bride and groom is in for a lot of running around finding their “mukim” and who their imams are, eligibility letter for the groom if this is their first marriage and even worse, each state has different rules and ways regarding the akad nikah.

I’m glad that part is over and done for me and Homer, in fact, we got married in record time! It took us exactly 5 weeks from the day of Homer’s "supposed" proposal to the actual wedding day! And noooo, we were not wed under suspicious circumstances.

I think it’s high time someone wrote a manual on how to get the marriage paperwork done. The kursus kahwin was not of much help to many of my friends and myself, aside from listening to the ustaz’s (mild) dirty jokes and learning the acts of foreplay in malay.

Fast forward, 2 years later, I finally have in my hands my original marriage certificate, and a momok hubby.

-kahwin-susah-single-pun-susah-L

Just pack already will ya?

Five different remote controls on my coffee table, shopping bags on the red sofa, 2 empty glasses and countless bills all over the three-seater. The bat-cave is a mess! Right now, right here; my life is such a cliché, so much to do .. so little time. I finally got my suitcase back, so there is absolutely NO reason to keep postponing packing. I can’t help but think that maybe I’m not ready for the move. I want to spend my time with friends and talk nonsense all night, I want to be able to go back to my parent’s place and be “the daughter”, I want to .. do so many things.. I’m just not ready to pack.. A month ago, I was looking forward to the move, can’t wait to see my new home, make new friends and see what’s in store for me over there. Now I’m just torn, my heart is heavy. For the first time in my life, I’m bowled over with my own reaction. I should be over the moon, Homer and I can be like any other normal couple – together, always. Is there something wrong with me? (Appreciate any feedback here..) What would I say to someone who tells me this..? Hmmm, calm down, breathe, you are just overwhelmed right now, this is obviously a big deal for you, take things one step at a time. You think waayyyy too much, the move is going to be great, remember how it feels to see him at the airport? Grinning from ear to ear? Fussing over you, bear hugs and all? I think it’s time to pack. -need-help-L

4 days to go..

Is it me, or the hours are getting shorter?

I'm supposed to -

1. Pack - My large suitcase is still with Sing-Sing Gal, so I can't really do it can I?

2. Pay all outstanding bills - I can't find them, parah ..

3. Sort out all pending work - Arghhh! Is today really Friday?

Sod it, I'm going out.. My time management skill is non existent. Help!

-trying-to-focus-L-

Claws out!

Do you know how it feels to be with someone who manages to annoy you eventhough they are 7,000 miles away?? Do ya?? Do ya?


Homer calls me every night just before I sleep, its "our quality time" and we've been doing the long-distance-married-couple for over 2 years now. This past week, my annoy-a-meter has hit the all time high! Since I started blogging, he's been asking me WHY he's not mentioned in the blog, or the fact that I'm married (to HIM), hence the Slaps entry.


Today, he told me to check out I'm wearing the pants . I can't help but laugh hysterically at his attempt to let everyone know who's wearing the pants! Heheh.. Anyone who knows us as a couple can tell you immediately who's really wearing the pants. But I'll give him 10 points for his compliments, it's the least I can do.


When I first started this blog, it was meant to be an outlet for my frustration, my often incredulous adventure but most importantly...it's for my friends here to keep up with my life story as I pack and leave KL...yup, ... it's the end of my long-distance-marriage...No..No.. it's not a divorce, actually *gulp*, are you ready for this... I'm moving in...WITH HIM...


You know how people get very anxious and worried when their other half goes away...Well, I'm the exact opposite, I have concerns on my BIG move. See, the thing is whenever we're together, I'll be at at my wit's ends after about 2 weeks... Wish me luck people..he'll be in my face from Tuesday onwards.


Ok, I'm making my marriage sounds like a sham..Not good. We do have a healthy relationship, I do adore and love him to bits..(aaw...). And the fact that collectively; we've only spent less than 6 months out 2 years together has got to stand for something, right?? hmm; you think I can write a - how to make long distance relationship work ? Alamak! The "oprah" in me talking, who am I kidding...I'm still terrified with the idea of being with him for long period of time...


Are you ready Momok? Tigress is coming....


-homer-phobic-L

The things we do..

I had lunch at home today, so I caught The Oprah show, interestingly enough today's show is all about the extend people would go to look younger and more beautiful.


I learned 2 very interesting procedure which is all the rage now.


1. Threading Lift

Non evasive procedure that lifts your face. How you ask? They numb your face, then starts "drawing" where the the thread will go to tighten the skin. Needle with special thread is then inserted through the layer of skin and then knotted near the hairline. Voila ~ instant face lift. Recovery period 2 days. Lasts about 3 years, and you can always go back to tighten the thread.


2. Fat replacement

Fat from other parts of your body is taken out and put back on places where you need them. Mainly, they take the fat from the hips and place them on the face. Also a non surgical procedure. Using the viles of fat taken from your own hips or buttocks, it is then injected in various spots on the face. This will plump up, smoothen the skin and give it a healthier look. A new you with the help of your unwanted fat..Taa-daaa!
Recovery period 2 days. Note: the injected fat needs to be sculpted around your face, if not, you'll just have fat-filled face.



Looking at both procedures, I just don't get why it's called non evasive...It's very invasive! and looks damn painful...I guess beauty is all about withstanding the pain that comes with it...just like wearing those 4-inch heels.


-i'll-just-settle-with-a-facial-L

It's a boy!

The storks are in, 2 young lives has just begun. 9 days apart, these boys have transformed the existence of those surrounding them. Super Lawyer Gal has suddenly dropped all ongoing legal contracts and negotiations, she now walks around (ever so slowly) in kain batik, ready to feed baby Umar. Important IT Guy, now run around the house cleaning the bottle sterilizer, organizing baby stuff and was last seen walking around aimlessly in the baby shop. Sing-Sing Gal having undergone emergency C-section (after bracing herself for a normal delivery) cringes as she tries to feed baby A.F. (since On-The-Way-Daddy and Sing Sing Gal have only agreed on their newborn son’s initials). Baby A.F, has nothing to do with Akademi Fantasia, although when he was in mummy’s tummy, he probably had an overdose of channel 15. No more long lunches with Sing-Sing Gal, no more coffee-coffee with Super Lawyer Gal. Indeed, our lives are forever altered. The journey has just taken an interesting turn, and I look forward to it. Congratulations! -at-least-I-don’t- have-to feed-jack-jack-L

Slaps...

Why buy?.. I give slaps for free!

Saw the sign outside a plant shop in Bangsar...It made my day!

I would like to dedicate this entry to my hubby homer a.k.a My Momokness. Now let me make myself clear: I'm not involved in any spousal abuse scenario, but it just so happens that I made it a point to dedicate my next blog entry to him..here's looking at you MM!

-still-smiling-L-

Posted by Hello

Yesterday's purchase

Ever wondered how buying an item that you've been dreaming of, brings so much joy to your life? I discovered yesterday that it really doesn't matter how much the item cost, you will be happy and content! That tingling sensation as you touch it and check that there's nothing wrong with it and wanting to tell everyone (only those that you're close to, cos' if you go around telling everyone, then you need help..) that you finally have it under your possession...ahh..


Ladies and Gentleman, I have in my living room the Jack-Jack phone holder that giggles when the phone rings. You know, "The Incredibles" toys that Mc Donald's are selling now..I know..I know..very kiddy of me, but I just love the movie so much and thought the baby was just sooo adorable that I had to have it.




I can't believe I actually remembered that they started selling the Jack-Jack toy yesterday. I am a FREAK!




Warning: the giggling can be scary, and is triggered by some radiowave from the mobile phone. Jack-Jack giggles before the phone starts ringing and whenever you send text message. It is now turned off for obvious reasons...*sigh* like many of my purchases, I now wonder what got into me...



-need-to-grow-up-L

Can You Keep Up?

I can't! For those who've seen the video clip "Can You Keep Up" from Destiny's Child..you'll know what I mean. Dang! All those hip swaying, pelvic bone moving away from the body, how the hell do they do that? I'm tired just watching the clip. I remember this one time I tried imitating Beyonce with disastrous and yet, hillarious outcome.. lesson learnt; me not equal Beyonce, enough said! -broken-hips-L p.s- just realized that the song title is "Lose my breath"..oops!

"Alexxanderrrr"

(Pronounced exactly like Olympia pronounced it in the latest blockbuster - Alexander) The movie was excellent! And according to my Subby Hubby (substitute hubby) who loves reading epic and historical chronicles, it's a good representation of the book he has read. Of course I had issues, like I always do, but first here's what I thought of my 3 hour date with "Alexxanderrr". Alexander, reached so many levels in story telling which I shall categorize in the following manner: Power Ever since man was put on earth, there has always been the struggle for power. Man and woman alike, once they have a taste of power, will always want more and it can never be enough. Be it physical prowess, political strength or even mind control - power is highly sought after. Power, be it used for good or evil, can be potentially dangerous, therefore should only be used in moderation..of course Alexander's ambition of ruling the whole of Asia and Europe was excessive, but that was probably the great Alexander's way of rising above the power his mother had over him. Watcha think??? Only son...with a penchant for cute boys??? Maternal love Excessive motherly love can be dangerous, which in time, I can't help but think that this will turn into the mother in law issues. I can so see it happening in Alexander's life. He will be torn in between Roxxane and Olympia, ooh...it will be sooo interesting to see how that turns out, too bad he died before having the 2 strong woman under the same roof. Note: Angelina Jolie looks amazing as Olympia..love the hair, the outfit ...everything lah..*sigh* my Homer will definitely go ga-ga over her all over again! Love and Sexuality So much love is being expressed here; love for the country, the gods, the heavenly body, the family and let's not forget the camaraderie among friends. What I like most about this part is how the filmaker managed to portray Alexander's homosexuality, excellent! I thought the issue may be too sensitive but hurrah! I'm sure some people out there will now be further enlightened that homosexuality does not equal weakness or disease. By gosh! Baroas is a pretty man and very flexible too... Historical facts Many has written the story of Alexander but because all the scribes from the people who lived in the times of Alexander never made it to modern times, we are left to speculate on the stories that has been passed from one generation to the next. So, I am happy to say that I finally know the general history. Be it the real truth on what happened thousands of years ago or not, I felt that this is the best way to learn about him. (it's either this or reading the book, and I still have not finished reading the Illyad). Erm, there's also always the Discovery Channel where I've learnt that his death may not be as mysterious as it seemed to be. All the fighting and wars, finally beaten by nyamuk?? What I don't get is... with millions spent on the production, why couldn't they spend $100 to tint Collin Farrel's brows and eyelashes..he looks weird...brown roots, dark brows..urgh. Even my hairstylist color my eyebrows when I get my highlights done! All in all, if you like epic war stories, dosh out $10 and empty your bladder before the movie. -wish-I-had-olympia's-hair-L

Bat(s)!

My apartment is officially a bat cave! To my horror, a bat flew in through my (french) balcony, rammed the wall and fell splat on the living area!

Me: ..was that a bat??

The brave(r) one: ..iiiccckkkkk...its a bat!!!

All hell broke loose, 3 girls running around the apartment shrieking everytime the poor bat makes a move. The small pieces of info on bats starts spewing out.."aren't bats poisonous?","i thought it was just the droppings..", "can they sense us?" ... " I thought they're blind.." "OMG!! they are blind, haven't you heard the saying as blind as a bat..".

We were such girlie girls! If there was a fly on the wall, it would have fallen and died laughing!

Grabbed my phone and started calling people for help cos' none of us can get near the bat without screaming or running a-la-ballet (but reversing away from the bat).. Seriously, where are my heroes when I need them? After 15 long minutes of "hahahahaha...really??? a bat??? sorry but we're at , hope you'll be okay..calm down, okay?" - meaning we're not around the area so you just have to handle the vampire, our saviour comes in the form of a neighbour, whom I barely knew. Note to self: get a nice muffin basket to my brave neighbour!

There we were, traumatized and sweating like pigs, sitting on the sofa; not knowing whether we should cry or laugh, we decided to just go have dinner as planned earlier....approximately 20 minutes before the "crash landing".

During the mind-numbing drive to our favorite cheap dinner haunt, I came up with the following -

1. Always have your mobile with you, bills paid and battery charged

2. Get to know thy neighbour, save their phone number

3. Store the guard house direct line on your mobile. Never just rely on the intercom, in case something yucky stands between you and the intercom

4. Have a man (who is NOT afraid of bats) in the house

5. It is nice to have friends around you when something scary happens

I didn't order the black pepper steak like I wanted b.b* after seeing mini dracula crawling around my place..I ain't eating anything black!!!

* before bat-crash.

-does-this-mean-i'm-batgirl?-L