Sunday, December 19, 2004

I can't believe I missed Mummy's birthday!

Shit, shitty..shit..

How could I miss it? The woman that gave life to me, who brought me up so lovingly, who taught me all the greatest life lessons, the woman who left her family in search of love ... only to have her only daughter completely missing out on her birthday, some fifty years later?

There is one particular photo of my mum that's etched on my mind, taken at the old airport, she looked oh so young, long straight hair with a middle parting; almost Yoko Ono-ish. She looks up into the lens of the camera, anxious, a slight smile with me sleeping soundly in her arms.

I never really asked her about the photograph, but, I knew that this was the first time she returns to her hometown with her firstborn. I was really tiny in the picture, so she must have just finished her 40 days confinement when we went on that trip. I truly hope I didn't give her that much trouble on the flight.

How brave of her, to leave everything behind for her one love. And now returning with her first child, the first grandchild for my Obaa-chan.

I was never really clear about her momentous trip to Malaysia, but 10 years ago, it was all revealed to me by an elderly relative, Tuk S. My late grandfater, Atok was furious when he found out that my father has taken a bride, apparently my father wrote a letter and said that if they do not accept his decision, he will never return home.

All hell broke loose, Tuk S managed to calm Atok down, " there is no point acting like this, you do not want to lose your son, tell him to come back and we can work things out." Incidently, one of my aunts was getting married so my father was asked to come back for the wedding so that it could be a double wedding celebration.

Tuk S then borrowed Ah Cheong's (the chicken towkey) car to pick the newlyweds from the airport. On the way back, they stopped at Kajang for a taste of satay, the kuah kacang proved to be too hot for my mum, suffice to say here that my dad made sure there was no gravy on any of her satay.

As the loaned car made its' turn into the compound, everyone rushed towards the car! I asked mummy how she felt at this point, "rasa macam Beatles!" (felt like I was the Beatles!). Every makcik and pakcik dropped what they were doing to see the "pengantin Jepun" (Japanese bride).

She was whisked away by all the elders and was put in a room with my aunt. Henna was put on her hands as they showed her the dress she was going to wear for the Bersanding ceremony the next day. Everything went well, but Nenek (my grandmother) was furious, her chicken rendang no longer looked like one as it was left on the fire for too long and many of her potted plants lay broken around the house. "Semuo garo-garo nak tengok pengantin Jepun"*, she muttered.

Which brings to me to another picture, my mum and dad on the unmistakebly 70's pelamin (altar). She was wearing a white gown (the smallest they could find), bee hive hair and one very high wooden platform shoes! (the only pair she had with her which was fancy enough for a wedding, I guess).

Till today, Mummy tries to hide the picture, but it always seemed to find its way to my Nenek's living room.

Happy Belated Birthday Mummy!

And Happy Belated Anniversary to my mum and dad! (d'oh! i forgot that too!! arghh!)

-guilt-ridden-forever-L

* All for a glimpse of the Japanese Bride