PS is da bomb!

Did you all know that you can find really nice dresses at Petaling street? My God .. beyond the tackiness of some of the stuff they display on the outer side of the clothes shop, you can actually find some real gems inside. Forget Zara, Mango, Forever 21 (okay.. you might still see wandering in these shops..) or BCBG (although they do fit me like a glove..).. The stuff in PS is crazy cheap!

I've been on a buying spree.. and with my impending Bandung trip (business, this time) .. I'm a little bit concerned. But hey, I can't help it if my wardrobe needs a little updating. Perhaps I should just concentrate on spa-i-fying myself..

If you don't hear from me before the coming new year, you can safely assume that I am meticulously sorting out my credit card bills.

Hoping for a banging 2007!

-shopaholic-L

Wonder if anyone has done this..

I don't think I've heard of reviewing a restaurant based on its child friendliness policy, but I guess since I've already thought about it, I might as well write a lil' something .. for all the parents out there.

If you ever have to take out your young child out alone for either lunch or dinner, you know what I mean when I say, it's gotta be childproof, willing to take "tweaked" orders, child seat and most importantly, staff who will not frown when they see your kids throwing stuff down on to their squeaky clean floors.

With that said - dinner last night was great because .. not only did this restaurant have everything mentioned above.. the staff even played with Ni-Mu.. and to my utter joy.. asked whether they can take her off my hands while I finish my lovely sizzling tofu dinner in peace!

Cozy House Great Eastern Mall ROCKS!!

You may want to go there when there's less people around (long queue is inevitable during peak hours), so go for either early/late lunch/dinner..

..*bl**dy h*ll*.. In the short time I wrote this, Ni-Mu has managed to reach for the aqueous cream tub and plastered it all over her body (again!).. arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

-clean-up-on-bedroom-2-L

Time heals all wounds

Last night, I caught up with Subby Hubs at Suzi's. It's been ages since I was last there. It has changed somewhat.. no one looked familiar.. except for the Western food ladies. I was so looking forward to their maggie goreng, but alas, it was just too dry..

And then I saw him. The guy who broke my heart, years ago. He looked good, clean .. sober. And the funniest thing is, the pain is no longer there. I actually had to really think hard what happened between us, and even when I did recall the things he put me through.. I felt .. nothing.. no heartache, no anger..

So Subby Hubs and I started to talk about how we do tend to forget certain things and move on with our lives, and when something awakens the memory of long lost stories.. we're reminded of how much we've grown since then and .. how it changes your perspective in life.

He was just a table away, I know he's looking at me but whenever I tried to lock eyes with him, he'll look away. I just wanted him to look into my eyes and see who I've become. This is one person, whether I like to admit it or not, shaped me to who I am today.

-I-need-more-time-L

I am 17, going on 18..

Today will forever be remembered as the day I turn 17 again..

I decided to take little Ni-Mu out to Carrefour to get some stuff. Because she's having a slight fever, and I am recovering from a cold, it had to be a short trip, so I just went out with my jeans, black tank top and I slipped on a pair of pink flip-flops. No make up

Decided to get an ice cream cone after I was done, so I was just hanging around in front of F.O.S while finishing my ice cream, Ni-Mu conveniently sleeps in her stroller. A group of young malay boys came and started to make conversation with me..

"ooi. kaklong makan ice cream sorang jer? tak share ngan adik langsung.. tak baikk.."

erk?

"lepas ni buat aper? tinggal kat mana? mlm ni kalu tak buat aper, jom la join kitorang kat NZ"

waaaa...

I just smiled and said, " erm.. tak boley la.. kena jaga adik.. "

"alaaa... mlm pun kena jaga adik ke?"

ha..ah...

"you sekolah mana? "

asrama..I replied

"oo budak pandai.."

no-laaa

"oii.. cakap omputehhhh.. mesti english dapat A1 nih.."

I just couldn't believe it! I'm being chatted up by young "kutoids" as I would call it, back in the days. And actually "layan".

"aikk.. habis ice cream terus nak blah? takut mak marah ke?"

ha-ah..

I just didn't have the heart to tell them that the "adik" they're referring to is my baby girl, and the supposed "girl" they were chatting up, has stretch marks all over her stomach and upper thighs!

Have I discovered the fountain of youth? I have been gulping down Tylenol cold syrup this past few days.. or could it be due to my short stint of SKII facial cleansing regime? Whatever it was.. It's great to know that I can still pass off as a schoolgirl..

-nama-saya-L

Waga-mama

My boss was here about 2 months ago for a short meeting and this was the first time we caught up with each other since I gave birth. We went for a Japanese dinner, since we both love to stuff ourselves silly with sashimis and not pay for them.

As we're waiting for our orders to come in, he looked at me and said,"You look HOT L! Waga-mama..!". I gave him a puzzled look, and he continued on saying, "aww, come on.. wakaii-mama.. you know what I mean, are you half-Jap or what?" ..

ahhh.. Wakaii-mama, literally translates to young-mama.. so I assume, he was trying to say I'm a hot -mama la..

I never gave it much thought 'cos this boss of mine loves to tease people (sometimes inappropriately.. I was once told that he has been sued for sexual harrassment once..). And not that I've noticed head turning whenever I pass by a group of guys.

But today, I felt like a waga-mama, it could be slimming effects of my pencil pants or it could be the fact I was not lugging my stuff-everything-I-can-bag, but a teenie shoulder bag. I definitely turned a few heads.. (maybe they're gay, and were just checking my outfit.. but still heads turned!).

Made me feel good..

Then I went downstairs and saw that Guardian was having discounts on Mamy Poko diapers.. Oooh.. must buy, I thought to myself (funny how our "must buy" list changes from that hot lip stain from Bobbii Brown to super dry diapers..).

And there I was, strutting to the carpark, and somehow turned into a non-head turner. It was the diapers.. Why is it that when we see a woman carrying a diaper she's just a mom, and if we see a guy carrying them we think .. aww .. great dad. I wonder what guys think when they see me carrying diapers?

Is it just me or have I actually blogged about this?Am I having a strange case of deja-vu?

God.. I'm waga-mama and losing it. Hurrah for the weekend!

-cough-cough-L

No more hoping..

People keep saying that, "In life, nothing is certain." Forrest Gump said, " Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." And quoting that famous phrase from Heidi Klum's Project Runway - One day you're in, the next, you're out.

So what's new? Nothing surprises me anymore. Men and women behaving badly, husbands cheating, wives lying, backstabbing friends, colleagues pulling you down, parents ignoring their children, children snubbing their parents. It makes you wonder why life can be so cruel.

But then you hear of wonderful things like, "Adam has cut his first tooth!", "I've been promoted" or "Mmuah mama..".

A few nights ago, while watching Oprah (don't roll your eyes.. she's only the best girlfriend ever..), something struck me. We always hear people saying, "I hope...." or "We hope.." but the guy who was interviewed said something profound, "HOPE is not a PLAN". And he's right, hope is not a plan. It may sound harsh, but the reality is; we all should be thinking what we are going to do about it rather than hoping it'll get better.

So for today, since I'm feeling lousy, I'm not going to hope I'll feel better. I plan to go out and get something from the BCBG sale.

-retail-therapist-L

Someone once said..

You can't please everyone. There will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision that you make. So stop beating yourself up whenever you hear anything bad about yourself. Get over it! Life is not a competition, the object is to live it to the fullest. If you've made a mistake, learn from it and never put yourself in that situation ever again.

That someone was me. At the age of 16, I was trying to make sense to a good friend in a time of her need.

I've always been a good listener, a source of kind words when people are down, a shoulder to cry on , someone to go to for a good conversation. I should really try a career in counseling.

Which brings us to a certain someone whom I chance to meet yesterday. Let's call him Mr. Mystery. He's in trouble; caught red handed doing something he promised he won't do to his wife. As it is, he has broken a lot of promises, and admitted that he's hurt his wife greatly with his "stupidity". His wife is furious, and is coming close to calling it quits. He, on the other hand is really sorry and doesn't believe that it's the end of the road for them. "It can't be.." he said remoursefully, "I love her.. She is my rock.. she's everything".

This is what I told him.

"You have to take responsibility for all your wrongdoings. And make sure she knows you're making the effort. If you still love her, tell her.. show her.. never for one second make her think otherwise. Even when she pushes you away, stay close. Make it known that you still want her. You have already admitted your mistake. Ask for forgiveness, go up to her and convince her that you're worth her time.."

"But, she's always so angry.."

"She has all the right to be angry, you said you want her.. need her.. that means taking her with all that she's got.. angry or not.. This is the person you cannot live without, right?"

"..yes"

"Then. why hesitate? Why give her time to think otherwise?"

".. I don't want to be in her face"

"Like it or not, you're already in her face with all your mistakes.. "

"I don't know what to say.. or do.. "

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself.. stop feeling anything for yourself, if you want her back.. Everything is about her now.."

"I don't think she'll feel differently.."

"Have you tried? Have you taken her out? Have you had a heart to heart talk? Have you told her how miserable you are that you broke her heart? Sacrificed anything for her? Spun a fairytale romance? Share her pain? Flowers? Gifts? Take some time off, spend it with her, pamper her, make it known you'd go all out for her? How can you say you don't think it will change anything if you haven't tried..? It's not like she's gone out to find a divorce lawyer.. Why think of defeat before even entering the battle?"

"She looks so hurt.."

"All the more reason for you to treat her wounds... Look, she didn't throw you out of the house, there's a good chance you can win her back. But before that, let me ask you.. Do you really love her, did you mean it when you said she's you're everything.."

"...."

"You've got to know what you're fighting for.. If your heart and soul believes in the cause, the battle is worthwhile, and if you win this battle, you will forever remember the route you took to win her back.. and hopefully remind you how much you'd go through for her. Remember, she's had to go through a pain that you could only imagine.. So don't question yourself if you have to stand up to a little prick here and there..."

"..."

"You think you can do that?"

".. Yes, but she keeps bringing it up.. "

"So? Keep on telling her how sorry you are.. and if you don't want to apologize anymore, tell her you're doing everything you can .. really tell her what you've been doing to make it easier for her.."

"I don't know.."

"Look, Mr. Mystery, it's up to you.. you wanted a woman's perspective.. I'm giving you one. At times like this, any woman just wants to be assured that you're worthy of her. And if you say you can't live without her, then you show it to her. No one said it's going to be easy.. You've hurt her.. Stop thinking that just because you've apologized and admitted to your mistakes, you're off the hook. In fact, you're never off the hook. People consistently work on their relationship.. In your case, you've got to work harder."

".."

"Make it work, Mystery-man.. You can't let someone like her slip away."

Any other advise for Mr. Mystery?

-should-start-a-dear-L-column

My girl..

It's hard to believe that a year ago, she entered the world, and now she's playing with bubbles.. She's achieved so much.. my heart could just burst. As each day passes, she'll learn new tricks and true to her nature she spreads joy to everything and everyone she touches. At a very young age she has even shown that she could learn from her mistakes and became aware of the dangers surrounding her.

In many ways, she's like her mother; vivacious personality, headstrong, determined and undeniably perceptive.

We had a party for her yesterday and she played the part of host to perfection.

I'm proud of you, baby. And thank you so much for all your smile, hugs and kisses.

-mumsy-L

What's new pussycat?

Nothing much really..

.. although, I did get a new phone .. yes, I'm now in the know. Hooked myself up with a 3G phone and therefore consider myself officially "hip and happening". My first video conversation was with 3 ah-bengs whom are obviously friends with the guy I bought the phone from.

.. my second video conversation was with Sing-Sing gal, while having lunch .. with each other! Yes, we are that dense. Irregardless, I'm sure the waiters still thought we were "cute".

-i-can-see-youuu-L

I am guilty..

I am guilty of the following -

1. Saying "I love you" to a complete stranger, one carefree night where I was privy to wearing a US$100,000 necklace in my plunging black dress...

2. Alowing myself to be immersed replying work mails, while little Ni-Mu emptied a whole tub of aqueous cream all over her face and body. Her skin is going to be sooooo soft for the next week or so..

3. Not keeping track of our Astro bills which led to the service being cut off and us watching regular TV.. which led to me being hooked on bloody Bawang Putih, Bawang Merah.

4. Being too lazy to update this blog, eventhough gazillion-jillion things has happened. Hmm, perhaps blogging is becoming a little bit (needlessly) complicated.

.. And many more since my last entry.. what can I say, I've been a naughty-yummy-mummy. So in the light of the joyous month of Syawal.. I'd like to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya (..yes, guilty of not wishing all of you too..) and obviously being guilt-ridden.. Maaf Zahir Batin.

-acquitted-nevertheless-L

Misty eyed..

And so the haze is back with a vengeance. It's so bad, that I can't even see the infamous "Savannah" construction, which is just a few kilometres away. For once I can imagine that I'm living on top of some mountain, surrounded by rolls of mist..

On a more happy note, we celebrated Mrs Bono's birthday over the weekend and stuffed ourselves silly. It was wonderful to see Mr. Bono happily snapping pictures of guests coming in.. kissy-kissy on the cheeks with the birthday girl.. and still clicking away during the dinner .. and maneuvering himself around the house as she opened up her prezzies, getting the best angles.

Isn't it wonderful to know that at least you're a supermodel to someone...

-misty-hazy-L

Soulmate..

I came across this while clicking the time away yesterday and the entry got me to thinking about it. Deep inside all of us want to believe in the concept of soulmate. I once heard a very interesting remark on this - "I don't believe in soulmates but I believe that once you've found that special someone, you work hard to make the relationship work. And vice-versa." Even a non believer believes in the notion that we all eventually will find that other person that essentially can complete you.

Remember that line from Jerry Maguire?

You complete me.

Can there be any other 3 words that so succinctly describe someone's gratitude in making themselves whole?

I'm not saying that all of you singles out there are running around half complete. I've been there.. And I truly believed I was complete (complete neurotic and complicated person..), but the search was on.. and it doesn't necessarily mean that we're always in search for the sensational person who can treat you like the goddess that you are. The search was on to find things, activities that'll make you feel complete, even just for that split second.

With that said, I'm not saying that it's okay for those who has supposedly found their other half to go out and search for things that'll complete you further.. Because in this case, you should be searching for something that will complete the both of you, like that diamond ring or the latest offerings in the golf setion. As long as it does not affect the precarious balance which you've been working so hard for.

And so, do I believe in soulmates? ..I do, the foolish romantic that I am.. but I also know we all live in the real world, where romance is but a lilliputian island surrounded by harsh waters.

But still, I have found mine.. there I've said it.. Would he say the same?

-soulful-L

To the left.. to the left..

When I was single, my aim was to lead a strong, confident, fulfilling and independent life. I made it a point to be mobile (i.e, have a car) and buy my own place in anticipation of leading a somewhat "Bridget Jones-ish" lifestyle.

I could actually see myself singing "All By Myself" on New Year's eve and eating tubs of ice cream while watching dvd's. And how I vowed to migrate by the age of 32 if there's nothing left for me here to explore.

Well I'm 32 now, and if you ask me whether anything has changed since my archetypal singleton dream... all I can say is .. Not really.

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, nothing can beat having little Ni-Mu around. In fact, I now foresee us singing a duet "Just the two of us" instead of "All by myself" .. (okay .. maybe more along the line of Barney songs..). And then of course, there's Homer. God bless him, but I can't fight the feeling that we girls must always watch our own backs.

The saddest thing is, in as much as some girls work so hard in getting their lives together.. there'll always be some other people that deliberately shuts them down. Society tries to make women believe we are nothing without our traditional support system. And it makes me angry.

I was talking with an old friend last week and she was just getting over a relationship. It pains me to hear that even after going through a harsh break up in a manner that I don't even wish for my enemies, someone told her that perhaps she could have behaved differently (read: forgiving) she would still BE in a relationship.

The point is, she did not want that kind of relationship. She was like me, and I knew she was already slipping so far away from her old self. She's on her final stage of her break up. And so we celebrated by singing to Beyonce's latest "Irreplaceable.." (or at least we tried..)

-irreplaceable-L

Random things that made me smile ..

- a guy wearing a t-shirt that said "I GOT SOME LAST NIGHT" winking at me while we passed each other on the escalator.

- Bumping into an old friend that kept on complimenting on how fantastic I look, and I was not wearing any makeup!

- Tried on a pair of skimpy shorts, and bought it, realizing how great my butt looked in them and then finding out that it was "small" size. (alright.. this one will make make me giddy with happiness for the next couple of weeks.. at least..)

- a phone call from an old acquaintance, whom I thought would never call again.

- how great my lasagna turned out, considering it was my first time baking them in the convection microwave.

-still-smiling-L

Nawaitu...

It's that time of the year again... No water, food, sex, among other things... during daytime. Food and sex.. no problems.. I can think of it as one of the many ways I can lose weight, and it's not like I sneak to Homer's office and "do" it at the emergency staircase on a daily basis...

But the water bit.. Did you know that I drink 3 bottles of 1.5 litres water everyday?? It's gonna be tough, especially when I didn't fast last year.. (due to pregnancy)..

Ramadan Mubarak!

-might-start-tomorrow-L

Why we can never..

form a "sisterhood of the traveling pants"..

By "we", I mean my dearest group of friends..

- at one point or another, one of us would pregnant.
- our size fluctuation rivals the stock market.
- we may have lost all the "baby weight" but the body structure is a different story.

And so, I am proposing the formation of the "sisterhood of the traveling sarong"

One size fits all!

-tra-la-la-L

I hate the haze.

Last night, I could see clearly KL's skyline.. It's been a while since I saw my beautiful city in all its splendour and its beautiful lights. This morning, it is still clear.. and I gave a silent pray that the haze has finally made its way out of the system.

I mean, the view from my place is not fantastic or anything, I can see the ongoing construction of a new highway, the low cost flats nearby and the monstrous development sprouting a few kilometres away. But at least, I can see them and take them all in as part of my surroundings.. Seeing things clearly means I won't step on shit and drag them everywhere unknowingly, spreading the stench.. Not that the haze was that bad that I can't see the pile of shit.. but you guys know what I mean..

Even when things are not as picturesque as we'd want it to be .. I'm sure everyone is glad that the haze is gone right? It even makes me want to thank last Friday's flashfloods cos it means washing away the haze..

This entry is mundane, just like my morning.. but I just needed to get it out..

-clearer-is-better-L

W.O.T.Y

And so with one proclamation, the little girl is someone's wife.. with that single action, she's now a "Datin". She looks so happy. I pray that she will not be forsaken by her man, and wish her all the happiness that she has long dreamed of.

As she slips the ring on to the groom's finger, I can't help but see the tell-tale mark of the previous band. And I thought to myself, he used to build his life with another, he promised to be true to her, but it was over. I wondered how she's taking all this, and wished her all my best as she begins her new life.

Love is truly blind, to quote a song, "..it's like chocolate cake, like cigarette.. I know they're bad.. but I just can't get enough...".

I can't really say that I know the little girl well, but by association, I know her ups and downs and in a certain way, I feel close to her. She certainly always makes me feel good about myself and even with her stature, she'd still come up and say hello to me in the open air car park while I was walking back to my car.

She's so optimistic about everything, and in the rush of having our pictures taken, she said, "welcome to the club..!" .. I corrected her and said, "..No, you, welcome to the club.. It's not easy you know..." To which she replied in her giggling girlish manner, " tau..."

Many happy returns, and semoga bahagia hingga ke anak cucu..

-ushered-L

Bad day? Have a drink..

A couple of days ago, Subby Hubby was having a bad day, and he really needed a break so I invited him to come over to our place. At around 6.30 he called to say that his car wouldn't start, apparently he left his headlights on. Homer went to save him while waiting for the service guy to come with the new car battery.

An hour later the guy called to say that he's already on Jln Ampang so we all towed little Ni-Mu into the car (since she's still wide awake) and made our way back to where his car was. We thought his woes would come to an end, but lo and behold, the service guy called to say that he had a flat tyre and so he had to wait longer.. Bad karma or what??

When the guy finally came (there were other issues.. believe it or not..), we left so we could have our dinner. Subby Hubs then came back to our place for some finger licking good chicken.. (What? You all thought I'd cook?? ..), and after gobbling down the chicken he looked at us with a huge grin and said,"Guess what was the service guy's name.."

Tom Yum! (This is real, I've seen his business card)

Nope. It's similar to your favorite drink..

Huh? Diet Coke?

Close. You guys ready? His name is Pepsi... Pepsi Chin. Here's his card..

*imagine all three of us laughing while we peeked at the card.

Okay, It was very mean of us to laugh at someone's name, but we just couldn't help it..

From now on, when subby hubby has a bad day, I'll tell him to have a Pepsi...

-cosmo-poh-li-tan-L-ha-ha-

What's new pussycat?

I've just been reminded by Subby Hubby on the lack of updates on the blog, and I have to admit that time haven't been on my side. Although, I can still find time to buy lingeries from La Senza (meeoooww), 2 pairs of shoes and more clothes since my Bandung trip. My credit card has never been more exhausted!

So, PGL the musical is back, and this time around I was determined to go (missed the last one), I was dropping hints big time and Homer came through.. hurrah! He listens after all.. We saw it last Sunday night and I'm proud to say that the artsy-fartsy-pants in us is still alive and kicking.

My favorite scene has to be when Sultan Ahmad came out singing how great it is to be King. Note to self, must ask Pat whether Sultan Ahmad has a penchant for Michael Jackson.. From where we were, it looked like the King of Pop himself was dancing on the stage.. Anyway, judge me all you want, while everyone was going ga-ga over Stephen Rahman Hughes.. I thought the King was great.. Adlin Ramlie, that is.. Hang Tuah has never been really top of my list..as like many other female population out there.. the bad boy thing is just so hard to resist..

I can't really say much on the male population.. I suppose they're also intrigued by dangerous women.. so the Puteri would be a great combo "lemah-lembut", looks to match, mystical powers and to top it all off, she wears a bustier all the time! (ala pussy cat dolls but with sarong instead of hot pants..)

Dang.. I should go back to La Senza and get those bustiers with matching garters... hmm

-dangerously-L

Bandung ..

Not to be confused with "Air Bandung" or "Mee Bandung".. which you'll never find in this quaint city. Although I can't really say much about bandung except the fact that it is dotted with factory outlet stores.. and I mean .. seriously dotted! After all, we really did spend much of our waking hours scouring the "F.O's" pronounced 'Eff-Oh' by the locals.

Didn't do much of sightseeing.. but that was never part of the agenda anyways. All I can say is that.. it was a great trip for the gals and would've been hell for the hubsters...

Ni-Mu's Stuff - 600,000.00 rupiah
L's obsession - 500,000.00 rupiah
Homer's stuff - 200,000.00 rupiah
Beautification of L - 350,000.00 rupiah
Souvenirs (which consist of more clothes or kain) - 400,000.00 rupiah

The look on the bell boy's face as he loaded our shopping bags onto the hotels cart as it stumbled out of our rented car at the end of each day - Priceless!

The bone picker story..

So here's how the story goes, I rsvp'd for a function and managed to get my mom to baby sit little ni-mu for tonight. The obvious choice for a partner would be Homer.. and here I thought, "hmm.. perhaps a little walkabout and cosy dinner afterwards..". It would be nice to just attend a launch for something that we can't afford to buy (yet.. hopefully) .. get dolled up, watching people.. etc.

But instead, Subby Hubby will be accompanying little ol' me. Apparently, Homer said he'd feel uncomfortable. As I recall, the last time when we went into a posh boutique, he was the one who tried on all the watches.... I think its obvious that he doesn't want to be seen with ME.. his short, non-flat stomach wife.

But hey.. I can't complain.. Subby Hubby is VERY good looking.. and we can snicker and laugh the whole night long..

-underappreciated-L

Lately...

Things haven't been so good lately, first I got sick, then there was that nasty diarrhea after eating undercooked cockles at Penang Village, and again last night my temperature shot up. With everything else going on in my life, work or otherwise, I just feel so helpless .. you know.. like why bother keeping up when you end up drowning in a heap of mess.

For once in my life, I really don't care what happens, I've been trying and working and talking and giving in. I felt as if I'm running in a circle, even when I tried to do something differently, I'm the one who gets the brunt of it. Don't you just hate it when that happens?

But then, that's life.. I've just been faced with setbacks. A little bit bruised, as they say. The time will come when they will appreciate me and know what I had to go through in trying to make things work.

Sometimes I wonder if whatever I did was wrong.. or whether it affects other people, but then I reminded myself that no one else will protect me like I can.

On a more cheerful front; me and the girls are going on an all girls trip to Bandung for a little S&R (shopping and relaxxxx .. mmmm) .. So Bandung people .. the question is.. are you ready for us???

-wheels-on-the-bus-goes-round-and-round-L

Her name rhymes with Tiara..

Little Ni-Mu is crazy funny.

This morning while I was checking my work mails, I put her down on the orange mat near me, with her noisy toy piano. I finally got used to replying mails while listening to the various unfinished nursery rhymes (obviously, she smacks on the toy that it keeps changing its tune..), when suddenly all is quiet.

As I turned my head, I saw my little precious taking the edge of the mat, munching away happily. She looked as if she's eating a giant orange..and gurgled,"mum-mum?"

I felt like showering her with oranges.. (but then realized that I could be jailed for endangering a child's life...)

As the world steadily goes on in its chaotic manner.. I am blessed to have someone who can make me smile with just a bat of her eyes.

-lucky-L

Again on life..

Life is playing tricks on me.. sometimes it feels like time had stood still, sometimes it leaves me behind, empty handed.. eating dust, but the one thing I hate most, is when it moves ever so slowly as you eagerly wait what's next for you..

I've been waiting.. and waiting.. sometimes patiently, most of the time not quite .. for something I can't quite describe but I know it'll make my life complete.. You know what I mean? And so, its true that life is a journey and as you pass by each junction, you pick up pieces that hopefully fits in this jigsaw puzzle we call life.

Wishing that the piece I picked up today will guide me through.

i-am-somebody-so-hear-me-roar-L

Hey, look.. it's me

Tonight, I smiled, laughed and cried. And in truth, it felt wonderful .. for that 150 minutes or so, my old self resurfaced. That person who had no care in the world.. enjoying herself, alone in her little apartment.

As I tucked the DVD back to its sleeve, I realized how much my life has changed. But I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that little part of me is still within and could somehow show herself as she listens to her little precious peacefully dreaming the night away through the baby monitor.

It's true that life can never be perfect, but at least, there are perfect moments. Let's not ever forget that.

-constantly-reminding-self-L

What goes on in this head of mine..

While people are humming and singing to themselves the latest hits like; Hips Don't Lie .. I have permanently in my head a humdinger from one the shows on Playhouse Disney channel.

My name is Shanna.. It rhymes with banana..
And this my friend, is Shaaannnnaaaa's Shoo--ooow!


Although, I'd have the lyrics changed to entertain little Ni-Mu, and it goes something like this

My name is Naiara.. It rhymes with tiara..
And this my friend, is Iaraaaaaa's Shoo--ooow!

And now, I'm obsessed in finding things that rhymes with people's names.

Sad, I know.. but Subby Hubby and I had lots of fun thinking up of things that'll rhyme with his name, sadly we could only come up with "Loofah". Poor guy.. well, at least that's much better than what rhymes with yours truly.. "Cheese"..

-yummy-cheesy-L

What marriage?

I'm not a cynical person, but I have to say, everytime I hear someone say, "Well.. I/She/He married you, didn't I/She/He ??"; I get a little pang of fury. So, just because at one point of time, one decides to take the plunge with another, we're meant to feel relieved and having a sense of euphoria?

Key word: "at one point of time"

Yes, we should feel like we're on cloud nine when we know that this is the ONE, the ONE to have and to hold, through bad and good times, till death do us part. But it's definitely NOT just about that instant .. It's about being in a team, unfailingly with each second that goes by. Marriage is not a trophy that you can lift up and say, "We did it!" , in fact, it should just be, "Been there, done that.. Now for OUR next move..." From here on, is where the real award kicks in.

Everytime you do something that makes the other happy, you deserve a medal and for each sincere sacrifice you'll go further ahead in the pursuit of happiness. For each time one holds back from hurting the other, then both can claim themselves as a clear winner; you for putting another before yourself and her for having someone who truly cares for her heart. This, ladies and gentlemen; as you can see has NOTHING to do with, "I married you, didn't I?"

Today, Homer and I celebrate our 4th Wedding Anniversary. I often (okay.. more than often) ask him why he loves me (notice it's "love" and NOT "married") and he'll always have some wacky answer, like, "reason no#3652 : because you say, I'm on camp Anniston!" (And I said this with conviction and much fervor!).

Here's to many more wacky reasons ...

-reason#1-L

All in a day's work

I believe I wrote in one of my posts that ironing helps me to calm down, provided that the mood kicks in. So just now, I decided to iron Homer's shirts to calm my nerves while watching Japan vs. Croatia match. Surprised? like I said.. I don't hate football.. in fact during my uni days, I actually followed the EPL religously. I mean, you gotta admit.. a woman can always have some fun watching 22 fit and athletic men running around in shorts, right?? If men can objectify women, so can we.

Homer would've been proud of how worked up I got with the game.. to the point of cursing in Japanese. Righto, back to calming my nerves. I was ironing one of Homer's work uniform that he had to wear in a recent conference and at the back of the shirt it said, "Reduce Uncertainty To Maximize Recovery". Huh? Was my first reaction.

Then it dawned upon me, let's for one minute take it out of the context of his work. This can be applied in our everyday situation. Think about it. When we have everything out in the open, as in laid out so that all is transparent - then you have nothing to fear and in fact, nothing to lose and everything to gain. In other words, if one is open and truthful; you project to other people your principles and in turn, you will get the most of what you want from people around you.

Applied on football, it will be something like, get as many goals so the team is certain to maximise their chance of winning.

Applied on everyday life, getting people to see the real you so that they in turn will be true to you.

Well, it kinda made sense when I was ironing.. more psycho babble next time I iron... don't hold your breath though..

-iron-lady-L

All I can say is..

Dolce .. Dolce .. Dolce!

Who is the hunky player on the furthest right in the bottom picture? Homer a.k.a my world cup trivia guy is away on an all boys diving trip.. Can anyone help me with this.. And now to check when's their next match. Finally my reason to watch the cup of life .. Subby Hubby, drooling time.. how abourrit??

-mama-mia!-L

Situation vacant

I believe I'm doing all my girlfriends out there a favour by putting this one out.

Urgent
Situation Vacant: Attentive partner

Job description: Maintaining healthy emotional connection between partners, creating loving and caring environment within the alliance.

Must be mature, intelligent, caring and dependable. Work available on contract basis, ending 9th July. Extension of contract can be negotiated. Football junkie need not apply, interested individuals may submit their resume via email.

***

I don't hate football, it's just that sometimes it makes me feel a little less important.. ya know what I mean?

-dispossessed-L

The Devil Herself...

The little girl ran into her mother's room, crying... " Mummy, am I a demon???". Puzzled, the mother came to her little girl and asked why she said that. "There's this boy, who shares my birthday and he's eevilll.. and he has the mark 666 on his head", the girl sobbed. She smiled and said, "..no, rizu-chan.. you're my little angel..". As the sobs dies down, the girl asks her mother if she could just confirm that she's really not the demon by checking that she has no such mark on her head. No such symbols seems apparent, confirms the mother. The little girl walks away, relieved, but ...

She just can't help but wonder if..

Today, eerily.. she wore all black .. frilly skirt and v-neck top combination.. walking knowingly how good her bum looks as the frills sashays itself.. The devil herself is out celebrating.. but nothing over the top.. As she might just blow her cover. After all today is special.. O Six O Six O Six .. She's turning 32, not too young, not too old but most importantly.. not too shabby.

Will the mark presents itself?
Will the demon surface?

We'll just have to wait and see..

Now, where can she find an all red leather pants and bustier with matching red whip...

Happy Birthday you devil.. you..

And by 'you' .. I mean 'me'...

OMENista-L

Have you ever felt really alone?

Last night, it struck me. I felt that I was all alone in this big bad world. I'ts like I swallowed an astronomical self pity pill or something like that. Everything is just not right, the bolognaise sauce I made was too salty, the baby gagged on my boobs, and Homer just couldn't keep awake.

Cue that pathetic Backstreet Boys' song, Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely...

Last night .. I was the epitome of Loneliness. Lonely L..

The thing is, if everything(one) else is zippidy-doo-dah-top-of-the-world shape, then what the f*#k is wrong with me. Can't be the baby blues.. , PMS .. nope ..

Just one of them days I suppose..

-trying-to-snap-out-of-it-L

Let's all sing..

Happy Birthday to youuuu
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu
Happy Birthday dear Homerrrrrr
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu

A year older and hopefully wiser,eh?

-wise-enough-L

How's life?

If life is a drama, and the life we're talking about is mine, then what does it make me?

A Drama Queen.

Things have been ... how shall I put it.. surreal.

Ready for the story?

Last 2 weeks, I blacked out .. in the bathroom, while preparing for my precious Ni-Mu's bath. I can't say how thankful I am that I wasn't bathing her at the time and that Homer is already home from work. It was an exceptionally rough day, to say the least. I don't even remember the drive home nor filling the small tub with water. The next thing I know, my mom was next to me, asking me to wipe my face.

So alarmed was Homer that he actualy called 999 for an ambulance, which incidently came later than my mom who actually had to hail a cab to get to my place. I'd hate to think what would have become of me if it was something really serious. Once I'm in the emergency room, they strapped all kind of nonsense and poked me here and there to figure out what was wrong.

I've been having the flu, haven't been really eating and under stress so I suppose it was a sign from my tired little(?) body telling me to slow down. But you kow how it is, when everything happens at once, you just get sucked into the vortex and the next thing you know someone tells you to wipe your face.

The doctor said that there was something wrong with my ECG reading and told me that I have to stay the night so I can be monitored. All I can say is, that night, I wished for it not to be true, that I was just having a nightmare, but sadly I'm yanked back to reality. I blacked out .. for a good 20 minutes.

And so I was put through various tests the next morning, they even made me run on a treadmill at 30 degrees angle! Are they nuts?? I haven't been on a treadmill for a good year!

In any case, I'm glad to say that all tests came back okay, but I still haven't gone through my holter (some machine that records your heart rhythm for 24 hours) report with the doc. That'll be tomorrow at 11. It's been a long wait.

So many things up in the air, I'm feeling a little bit hard to breathe.

-waiting-to-exhale-L

Splishin' and a splashin'

I had to go to Penang over the weekend and we decided to make a holiday out of it. Little Ni-Mu travels great in the car, except for the occasional tantrum wanting to get out of her car seat and being a little bit "jakun" when breastfed at the back seat. I swear, the guy parked next to us at the rest stop probably think I was flashing him ... I'm sure I made his day... they ARE nice-ish.

Believe it or not we didn't get to really spend that much time together, I ended up having to do more work than expected, but we managed to eat that excellent goreng pisang from Tanjung Bungah.. crispy outside and soft inside plus, we got ourselves to Waterworld and had my siput judi (or was it judy? .. it's one of those really spiky siput).

But the best thing was we got upgraded, thanks to Homer's crankiness and non-stop calls to the hotel's front desk, and got ourselves a nice big jacuzzi tub in our bathroom!

There we all were.. The "Michelin" family.. It was hillarious, Homer kept telling Ni-Mu not to look directly at you-know-what, while she looks on at the two of us like we've gone mad or something. And so after Homer got over the trauma being nude with his little girl, we all sat ( and perhaps frolicked around ) in the tub with Ni-Mu happily splashing away between the two of us. Bliss...

A family that bathes together stays together, right??


-missing-the-big-tub-L

That damn ad!

I have a confession. My hair is falling out.. yessirreeee.. I no longer want to wash my own hair cos everytime I do, I fear that our shower drain may clog up and bath water would flood the whole apartment. It IS that bad. And so, I've resorted to going to hair salons and clog up their drain.

It doesn't help that I keep seeing this ad on how to know whether your hair is damaged or dry. The thing that bothers me about the ad is this - the dang experiment says that if you cut your hair and drop it in a glass of water and oil, you'll find out the condition of the hair. If it stays in the oil layer, then your hair is dry and if your hair drops down to the water bit then your hair is damaged.

The thing is, there's just 2 outcome isn't it? Either the hair will stay in the oil bit or the water part.. so either way your hair is screwed. What the f*#k??

O' thy beautiful locks with blonde streaks .. keep up your strength, this too shall pass....

-baldy-L

Is it really today?

All around me, people are embarking on a new journey; Mama and Papa Mido is preparing the arrival of Baby Chin, Super Lawyer Gal is moving on up, Subby Hubby finally gets a job which is in line of his study, K-devi has gone on a self discovery trip, Sing Sing Gal struggles with her own personal conflicts, Homer discovers the joys of being his real self in his home coutry, even little NiMu has learned a few tricks showing her nature as each day goes by.

Me?.. yes, moi ..

I feel different today, I just realized that in the past months I have changed. Perhaps its the sudden workload, perhaps its the emotional turmoil within me and from all the people around me, losing myself and re-discovering it all again with my little NiMu. As I write this, I wonder if I'm making any sense, I wish to find my pillar of strength but I don't know how to. And so, I look at the people around me ..

Well, sign me up on a trip .. I want to journey on..

On! On!

To Mama an Papa Mido, the baby will rock the boat, but you guys will do great! We'll be seeing you sailing through.. Can't wait, NiMu will have someone to bully ;)

-good-luck-me!-L

o' la la

It's funny how eventhough I've never met any of the wonderful people reading the blog, I kind of feel close to them. Yes, I'm talking about you.. You all know the highlights (even lowlights.. ) of my life and all the needlessly complicated things I go through.

Well, that's what life is all about ain't it? Being around family, friends, blog-friends, yadda-yadda. Sometimes I wonder what else is out there, and then I'm reminded that life is a series of challenge.

And what's the challenge for today?

1. Fitting into my old pants.
2. Resisting buying clothes from British India.
3. Getting my client to confirm a huge order.
4. Be a good girl. (Cos have been feeling naughty all week)

-amazing-race-wannabe-L

An open letter part 2

For those who has expressed concern over my open letter,

It's true, I can no longer trust as easily as I could before. I thank you for the kind words, and I am happy to be surrounded by people who cares so much for me. But it's not what people think it is, the letter masks a series of events around my life and those only those in the know, truly comprehend the situation.

I'm just happy that you all cared.

-thankful-L

An open letter

To whom it may concern;

Trust is a fragile entity. Remember the story of "the boy who cried wolf?". The trust has been broken and no one believed him when the wolf really did appear - he lost his sheeps, and it wasn't funny at all.

If people trusted you with their life, it's truly an honor; only a privileged few gets this type of validation. "I trust you" can sometimes be stronger than "I love you" And in that few seconds of judgement lapse, it is gone, broken, leaving the other person at loss for words.

I trusted you. Past tense.

-broken-L

Gimme a break..

It's been 3 months and a bit since I joined the exclusive club of mama-hood, where the joining fees can be on the high side. I'm talking about ..

Weight gain..

yeah..yeah there are some of you who could just lose it all, like 2 hours after the delivery, but in general, it'll be months.. even years to get back into your pre-pregnancy clothes. (Let's not even talk about pre-wedding clothes, just pack them up and send them out to those who really needs it).

And whether you're sweating it out or wrapping yourself up in one of those fancy schmancy slimming centres, let's face it, you need to feel good about yourself and so you end up buying all new clothes. when you find one that could fit (a.k.a somehing that makes you feel/look slimmer), you get them in all colors.

That extra curve..

Okay, the obvious one would be the source of your baby's staple diet. Your boobs now have changed not only in terms of size, but also shape. And bras doesn't come cheap.

The other curve, is the not so obvious one but once you've taken your layers of clothings out, you'll see it. That pesky curve (a.k.a the bulge) on the belly area. Those tight-fitting shirts that you have.. just put them away.

To tell you the truth, I feel that I'm doing pretty good. I have lost all my pregnancy weight and my friends have all commented positively on how I look now (thanks to an all-new wardrobe!). But when your mother is slim-queen-sub-40kg-tiny-kurus-kedengking-speaks-her-mind-little-old-lady... *sigh*

Everyday I hear, "gemuknyaaaaaaaa... tengok itu perut.. boing.boing.. jery mitaii*.."

ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-too-tired-to-do-gazillion-sit-ups-L

*like jelly..

Love hurts....

Someone very close to me has been hurt.. deeply by the one she loved. I am stumped. How could he do this to her? Yesterday I held her close, crying silently.. there's not much i could do to erase her pain except maybe to share it with her.

Everytime she sees Naiara, her silent tears turns into sobs. She has a baby on her own too, you see..

"And baby makes three.." Isn't that how the saying goes?
She asks me, then why do I feel so alone?
You have me, I said.
It's not the same..

I have no answers.. but I can share her tears.

Wonder Woman

This was me just hours before little Ni-Mu came into the world. If you thought, "wowser.. that's huge!!" You should've seen my side profile..Yes.. I was that big!! .. and yep, this t-shirt is now stretched beyond recognition.

I was cleaning up my picture folders and found this shot.. and it reminded me how ambitious I was back then (only 3 months ago..) on being the wonder woman extraordinaire ..
supermom, super efficient consultant by day and by night, fabulous chef and sex goddess ..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

What was I thinking??

I'm just happy I haven't ended up like Mr. Shellman's projection of my future, "bedak sejuk on my face with a little baby precariously on my left hip in a chaotic house of shambles."

For now I'm happy with me being "Wondering Woman" .. as in "I wonder where the time went?" and "I wonder if people would notice the spit stain that Ni-Mu just did on my top"

-wondering-still-L

o' brother....

I'm sure many of you saw last night's American Idol, where it's the guys turn to take the stage.

I'm sure many ladies (and even guys) saw Ace .. who sang George Michael's 'Father Figure' (yummers)

But... did any of you catch Ace's brother????? (yummeri-doooo!)

Homer's out of the country, can anyone tell? heheheh...

-horn's-coming-out-L

KLIA day...

Some people have family day, annual day, casual day...

But for us, we have KLIA day.

How, pray tell do we have KLIA day, you ask?

When you miss 2 flights and spend a chunk of the afternoon waiting for the last flight to our destination - That's KLIA day.

During our hey-day of travels, both Homer and I have NEVER missed a flight, so you can imagine our frustration when we missed not only one, but two flights back to Homer's hometown. Local destination probably ain't our thing. (eksyen lebih..)

Poor baby Ni-Mu for having to sit in her carseat for 2 trips to the airport. The elements was against us, but we were lucky that there was another flight that we can take with Air Asia. Ironically, its the flight I suggested to Homer earlier on when we were planning the trip..

So the moral of the story is..

LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE, SHE'S ALWAYS RIGHT

Oh... and on a more interesting note, Ni-mu actually said "Hi.." (very loud and clear, if I may add) to a teenage boy while waiting to board our third-time's-the-charm-flight. Homer is now worried that our little baby may have the tendency to like older men...

-the-right-one-L

Sweep, sweep, sweep

Can someone just explain me what the hell is CURLING all about??

It's just a bunch of men sweeping like mad along the icy track with a bulls eye at the end. The thing they hold in their hands looks very much like my dry-mop.. you know.. the one that is great on dust and hair on the floor.

And the ultimate question would be .. Can I get the athlete's phone numbers? They'd make great cleaners, what with all their training. I'm pretty sure they've nothing to do after the Torino Olympics.

-I-need-a-curling-iron-L

Mango freeze..

... it has been 4 days since my little Ni-Mu did a poopie-doo. For those who do not have babies of their own, let me just tell you that they can poop like 4-5 times a day in their first few months! So you can imagine how worried I was. It happened last week and the doctor gave us some glycerine mixture to squirt up her you-know-what. Poor baby..

The effect was almost immediate. You know the saying, "when it rains, it pours".. well, it really poured! Ni-Mu practically was "producing" mango freeze. I swear it can fill up the large slurpee cup.

We thought her trauma would be over, but it looks like my little Ni-Mu will be serving me some mango freeze tomorrow.

-oy!-L

What did you talk about today?

While everyone else thinks about worldly topics - perhaps the fate of Israel now with Sharon's condition or something with a local twist - whether they should open an account with the banks that has a branch in KLCC.. or what shall we do with over the long Chinese New Year weekend..

Homer and I mull on whether we should cut Ni-Mu's hair because she's beginning to sport a mullet.

Omygawwwddd.. is it me or her hair is getting longer at the back?
Eeeeek! Ya laa ala Michael Bolton..

Yes, I truly have nothing else to write about except that we may have to face the fact our daughter is turning into Michael Bolton.

-i-love-you-but-i-lied-wtf???-L

Flash!

Who: Over-emotional L and Cranky Ni-Mu

Where: Unit 5, level 4, my apartmen building

When: Approximately 12.20 pm

What: Me crying my eyes out watching the ending of a movie called "The Notebook" while Naiara hangs on to me crying to go to sleep. Kodak moment indeed!

-still-hormonal-L

How was your weekend?

Last Saturday, I finally saw a glimpse of what I would call the "old me" (with that darn little pouch that just wouldn't budge.. what's up with that???). I had a mini girls night out! Okay, so it was only me, Entrepreneurina and Sing-Sing Gal, but I had fun.. It's been a while since I could just lounge around listening to good music and drink Coke (ahem-light).

Hurrah for me!

I knew it was time to go when my breasts started to feel a little tingly.. ladies and gentlemen, that's what you call a "milk letdown". A time when my chest expands from a C-cup to a D-cup.

Aaah, the joys of motherhood.

-funky-mama-L

Calling beautiful ladies..

Okay,I've been keeping this in long enough. Anyone out there seen this "Malaysia's Most Beautiful" program? I seem to catch bits and pieces of it and ironically, it's uggllyyy..

Last night, with only 4 contestants to go, I thought .. hmm maybe the last 4 are potentially beautiful people. Oh.. was I wrong. I feel sorry for the judges for having to keep up with the lot all this while, and their challenge last night was a total fiasco.

To top it all off, during dinner one of the finalist (the one with long curly wavy hair) commented that she liked the mushroom she was eating .. shitake mushroom which she pronounced she-take (shitek).

ARRRGGHHHHHHH!

Come on Malaysia, is this what we have to show to define Malaysia's Most Beautiful?

-beauty-and-the-beast-L

Is it really 2006?

Does the New Year count if you slept through it?

You got it, I.. slept through the change of year, after the (not so much) build up to it. With all the new changes in my life, I settled with watching the KLCC New Year countdown concert on TV, and realized for the first time ever that KRU cannot sing to save their lives. Please, no hate mail on this.. I used to think they're the breath of fresh air our local music industry needed, (studios can do wonders on recordings!) So I was fooled too.

So here I am, new year, new baby and let's not forget the new body. The problem is, when you have too high of an expectation on yourself, you get easily frustrated when things doesn't come exactly like what you planned. For example, motherhood was real challenge, breastfeeding was an exceptional curve for me, plus getting used to having someone who practically clings on you for her dear life.

I'm not complaining about my miracle, I'm just saying don't expect a certain scenario and stick with that. Brace yourself, your life is NOT a movie. I should have known better - Life is a series of challenge, take it as it comes.

So, I reckon since I have finally overcame my mutilated nipples problem. Next would be getting back in shape. I know the books are saying 9 months up.. so 9 months down.. again eager lil' me just ain't happy everytime I see my own reflection.

Just so you know - I have not morphed into a manic depressive, this is me lacking sleep and a little dosage of privacy and missing the "old" L. Ah well, that's the challenge, right?

Bring it on 2006!!

-new-supermama-wannabe-L